wondering

Im thinking whether i should let more people see my many years old of my blog. Hmm. Should i or should i not. People who view this are people who happen to chance upon my blog.. so toodles to those lucky ones. haha! :)

nothing is better den singapore(home). :)

IM BACK! :D

SPLENDID!

Nothing is still better den HOME SWEET HOME. :)

I came back with my hair so dry!!! :( devastated. Gonna mask and moisturize excessively.

So yea. i tot i lost my phone in Bali, but i realised that i actually put it in another compartment in my haversack bag. keke. And my ipod nano. in my side pocket of the bag.And my mosquito repellant in another. GEE! THANK GOD! i only lost my mosquito repellent and guess wad, my ipod came out of my bag but apparently it was hanging somewhere on my bag when it arrived to SG! so i should really thank god! It was lucky, really! i wasnt complacent or anything, sometimes things just slip out of my mind. Its not that im lazy or i din care, sometimes it really slip out of my mind. So i would really appreciate people to remember and remind me. REALLY. :)

So we got back and headed to the SEAFOOD PARADISE to eat seafood. IM FREAKING FULL NOW. Exercise tmr! JIAYOU! i wana be skinnyyyyy

4th dy in bali,kuta

Today was the last day of diving, sammy went thru the skills again, but this is done under the sea water at nusa daisa. the water there is alot more unclear then tulamben. i managed to feed fishes from my hand! :) fun fun! Diving couldnt be more fun den anything else. Diving just kills all the mood for other water sports underwater. Being able to breathe under water and seeing fishes, eels, star fish? stingray-mini, sea cucumber.:) awesome dive at bali. i'll always rmb the dive. Tmr gona go for hair mask and spa maybe? And ouh, after the dive, erica and i drop off at legian t do some shoppin. FUNFUN!she's nice! she will be heading to singapore soon. Hopefully i can bring her around. :) Gona update soon. And once again, watching endless FTV. :D i think im addicted t FTV. Their channel just doesnt have any commercial breaks. Its just endless fashion shows seriously. And all the models are SKINNY! okay. i wana be skinny with shape of cuz. skinny but not too skinny. :) im trying, but i admit, not very hard. Now i'll do my best t lose weight. I jus wana wear their clothes. so awesome!

scuba diving

Scuba diving, no doubt its a dangerous sport but with safety precaution, it can be spectacular.

3rd day at bali

As usual,diving was awesome!

i'll put up some pictures and video once i'm back to SG. :) At a start, it was alittle scary cuz its pretty a new environment and we have to quickly adapt to the sea. we went to the shore of tulamben. Never regret to take up diving here. i saw a school of fish. WOW. that was the best experience ever. i'll never forget that. What i dun really like is the shore, its full of stones,big and small and its pretty hard to walk on it. i almost fall.And i dun like the part here u have to put and take the fins on and off in the sea, facing the shore. it was pretty uneasy for me for 2 dives. hopefully tmr will be better. :)

And i also saw the shipwreak,corals and eels! Many many eels in the sand. Not sure if sammy has taken pictures of it. Its awesome. i wonder my sis and bro managed to see it.

Tmr feeding the fishes. :) But no $ for underwater cam. sheesh. But it was good. And as we head back t our hotel, its a pretty long journey, 2.5hrs. Gotta head to Lugiah for shopping. theres alot of shopping there. i saw my basket bag there. binikis,many surf shops and resturants and bars and disco! :D Haven gone to the beach to take a peek yet . :(

And again, watching endless FTV. :) its inspiring to see all the models so slim and skinny. motivating. :D

Alrite. Tts it for now.

F. is an obsession :)

adios amigo( spainish)

Just arrived at Ashton,kuta,bali

BALI BABY!

okay, so it took about 2.5hrs to get to Bali. difference between bali and hawaii? bali more angmohs, hawaii more japanese! So basically, there are alot of water sports here and i can only play it by making friends with other people. Im excited tho! hehe! Surfer boys, wait up! haha. i really hope my mom can just throw me at the beach and she does her own thing well i do mine. :D That is heaven to me. The sports, the beach, the activities and some friendly people to play with. :D Gotta start planning what to do tmr! mom is asleep soundly. Yes. like a baby. so sound. :) Thanks for the surgery that she went. Oh. We ate balinese nasi goreng and nasi smth, it was GOOD. Pictures up when im back. :) Gona go swimming early in the morning at our Ashton hotel. ;) HAVE TO SWIM! i can die without exercising. fabby is not sexy. fat will never be the new skinny for me. So adios folks. update tmr. :)

toodles.

:)

Bonjour!

Hyoyeon is my favourite! haha! From SNSD! im not korean craze. i just simply love her personality. :)

Gona go excess running, dancing,swimming this holiday. JIAYOU! DUN LAZE AND SLACK!

motivating MTV.

And ouh, this MTV is awesome! its damn motivating. :) Time to get back on my losing weight regime tho my boobs will be smaller. ohwell. i rather lose the boobs den having a fat body!. its really really really really hard to lose when u're alone. No choice, have to continue losing. Anyone care to lose weight with me? LET ME NOE! i'll be more den happy. :)

Im FAT! seeing my sister is like seeing me. omg. MUST LOSE WEIGHT MERINA!

its good to think

ive been watching this korean show on Youtube.com called hot blood. its a training reality show where 2pm,2am becomes stonger and tougher inside out.

This episode is about them doing some self-reflection on their life when they die. I think all of us should do self-reflection everyday. we all should work very hard and accomplish all the things that we want, even if its the impossible dream.

We should all work hard and strive hard. After watching this show it reminds me alot on all the sports activities and camps where team bonding and friendship is form. :') i miss that, i really do. i want to join back a sport CCA again. That is if i got into SIM uni.

:)

Prolly gona further my studies on nursing degree and den take business or marketing diploma. Hopefully i can get myself a job either at mom's office or some MNC company. And continue on a hobby after work. :) What have i accomplish?other den doing well for my studies, i guess i cant accomplish anything cuz ive no $

Frustrated

Bonjour!

losing weight is so tough but putting on weight is like ABC. it just took me a few days for the weight t get back up. Je suis triste(Im sad). :( im 2kg fatter now. so angry with myself for not having that disciplined t stop impulsive eating! i need to stop that and i need to push myself to exercise more and eat less. i really do. Today wanted to wake up early to run but i laze around lying on my bed again. sigh. Im useless. But at least i did the laundry and cleaning up my room. its been weeks i last clean up my room.

Im frustrated over my expenditure!!! im going bali and europe soon and i can just spend so carefreely. i seem to have a really carefree mood like everything does not bother me at all. Actually it does. Everyday does bother me that to the extent, i decided not to bother cuz if i do,i'll get even more frustrated that WHY THINGS AINT GOING WHAT I WANT! yea. i guess people do get frustrated when things do not go as its supposed to. But ohwell. just have to pick urself up again from where you fall and NEVER GIVE UP and keep going and tell urself not to make the mistake again.

Even seem i got my allowance from the hospital, it seems like im going poorer and poorer. At least when i do not have allowance, i get to save up all the $. But from the savings i had, its depleting. As you start reaching adulthood, there are bills to pay, insurance coverage, maintenance. Sigh. sometimes i just wondered why am i not a guy. oh. no. better not be a guy cuz its even more stressful. Tho you dun need maintenance for urself but you got to pay for ur gf's everything,i mean mostly!haha. Being a guy is not easy either and being a girl is neither easy too. ohwell. INDEED,YOU CANT HAVE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS,that applies t some. hah.

Work starting soon and im pretty scared actually, and i think i sort of decided not to stay in nursing else i can just remain to be single and prolly convert myself to be a nun in future. Every family wants the best for their kid. Sigh. im gona be an adult soon in like 8more months! how should i celebrate my bday when i got barely much savings now. :( Should i call ALL THE FRIENDS SINCE PRI SCH TIL NOW or shld i just call the closest people and up my budget since they're the ones that are der all the time while friends are just people who helped you along the way. hmmm. how how! having it at chalet? too cliche. yacht?too ex. club? not everyone of my friend likes it. gawd. HEADACHE.

Heading to bali next monday! haven prepare yet

Heading to my dad's friend's wedding at intercontinental in afew mins time. i really dun feel like going! IM LIKE GETTING FATTER! :( i read over the internet that the media are tryin to promote curvy girls now. Big is sexy,like my size. hurhur! But nahhh.cannot get influence but it and give up losing weight. The idea is to feel good about urself! But i am soooooooooooooo not right now. i miss running competitively. Why cant sports industry pay employees higher wages?! Sigh.

C'est tout gens (thats all folks).

Watching gossip girls on my android phone. :)

my hands are aging. i can see wrinkle. O.M.G! (very bimbotic i noe) omg! i must soak it in milk and den put dons of moisturers and sleep with gloves on. omg!! getting old, die die!

Anw, last paper of my entire sch day is just few hrs from now! im serious! And off for my attachments! 18weeks which is 4months! 4deadly months! :( am i gona be a nurse forever? :( shift work is tiresome. i wana work at raffles city in one of those office tho. it seems pretty awesome actually seeing all the working people out for lunch at a specific timing. it jus felt like ur in sch and time for recess. And everyday same place,same time and seeing same people. :) new bond is form. :) that will be called my working school now.

neway, im gona head to bali in like a wk's time and den 2/3wks break and off to Europe with family and cousins. awesome. mom intended to bring me to japan during Dec. but sadly, i gt attachments. i miss sch, i mean secondary school. i dun seem to have any vivid memory of fun days in polytechnic. it seems miserable for me. My classmates are all weird people. Cuz they came from all different backgrounds. Will working life be the same as polytechnics? or it'll be like secondary school when you meet nice and fun people?which will it be common or uncommon. im quite worried about the working world tho. All the jobs that i did was temporary. Now this coming job will be for abt 2yrs! will the people be nice and family-like? or bitches eat bitches? Gee. im scared!

nom nom! pas peur! (nono, not scared!)Im brave! Im brave!

aight. off to studying. :) Tous les meilleurs merina!. (all the best merina!)

You have left, and gone forever..

body shape

Apparently, people are promoting medium size woman and the opposite sex prefer woman with some meat. as you can see, 59% of man prefer a size 12 ,which is US size 8 but size 8 to size 12 looks the same jus the boobs that is looking bigger thats all. prolly jus alittle more meaty. ohgee. Since the media is slowly progressing to medium size females. i think i shldnt try so hard to lose weight. My size is perfect! hmm. nvm. mayb try t lose alittle more. :) my shorts is like tight! :(

YOG at Catholic high school

Volunteered my time for the YOG 2010 at catholic high school for gymnastics training as paramedic assistant. :) Definitely gona be a lifetime experience not just singapore, but for me as well. :)

ENJOYED myself too! :)

We are part the Purple army that play a big role in making this goes smoothly for singapore. ;)

FAMILY DAY OUT

ENJOYED MYSELF AND WE ALL DID AT UNIVERSAL STUDIO!

it was nice to hav a family day out! apparently, universal studio wasnt a disappointment. it was fun! especially the REVENGE OF THE MUMMY! the ride was awesome! and my sister bought the photo us that were captured on the ride. GOSH! i look like a pig screaming for help!hahaha. damn cartoon. ohwell. we spent the whole day rushing thru all the rides and shows. we did managed t finish most of it. except i din get to take pictures with cats in the boots and my magadasar! :'( boohoo! oh ouh. after the rides and shows. we change out and went to CHILLIS t have our dinner. it the was superb! i ordered the mushroom fujatis. i think i spelled wrongly but its der. haha! it tasted GOOOOOODDDDD! THUMBS UP THUMBS UP! haha. :) and the dessert was HEAVENLYYY! the choco fondue flow out of the sponge cake and the apple caramel was YUMMYY!!

I LOVE TODAY! :)

ENJOY ENJOYED!

pondering

I feel so elated that i made myself volunteer for the YOG. Though i was alittle upset that i was deployed to Catholic high for the gymnasticss training for the straight 8-3pm shirt for like 5days! ive the most hours than the rest. But ohwell. Finally i just got over it cuz being there is something i feel that i learnt alot from the athletes just by watching them train every single day. You can tell how much these players want to do well and win the competition. Some just think that they are good enuff but some just keep on practicing and practicing and practicing! like the china gymnas. She is the only one without a Coach while everyone else has at least 1. Russia has 2! China is the only country that just kept going without a coach. Very disiplined and very grateful when the coach pitpoint her. i think its very true that culture does make a difference.

People in SG would rather pursue and further their studies for more $$ den to pursue something that we all know Athletes in SG do not get as much privilege than other countries. And people in SG can afford to further their studies and the well-being is alot better. China are really hard-working due to their high populated country. Sometimes we cannot blame them for using cunning ways to earn $. sometimes it really forced them to go to that extend to do it. But still, we cannot pity them cuz we're gona be the ones to find ourselves some trouble.

Everyday i see the athletes train so hard, coaches kept pushing and pushing over their limits to help them achieve even higher and higher. To a large extend, strict teachers produce great students. Its tough being a coach, its tough being an athlete.

And i see those gymnas jumpin and spliting their legs etc, i have the urge to try it myself too. haha! Sometimes i do blame my parents for not pushing me hard enough. Cuz as kids, its rare to know what we really want. Only adults have to keep pushing them over their limit.

ohwell. Tmr last day for me! its so fast! i really dun wana go tho cuz i noe i will definitely miss those hard working athletes. Gee!

anw! JIAYOU TO ME! :D

HAPPYDAY!

PISSED!

SHOCKED

JOYFUL!

NERDY SAD

BORED!

jus bored, so uploaded those pictures. ohwell. haha.

And ouh. today mummy and i did a bonding session tgt! dying hair session! :) i helped mummy t dye hair for her in the toilet. :) And ouh, had a grocery shopping day too! :) i bought my liese hair dye(masmallow brown)

its really easy to use and the colour is awesome! i highly recommand those who wants t dye their hair can use this. its only 19.90$ alot cheaper den dying ur hair in a local salon i guess?

Enjoyed the mummy and daughter thang today. :)

AND BTW!

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

And Youth olympics Games starting soon from 14-28August. i think every athlete should feel elated though its jus Youth olympics and not the actual one. Afterall, be it whether its youth or the actual olympics, those athletes that are competing in those competitions worked hard for where they are and should be respected. As an ex-athlete, im really proud that YOG is held in Singapore and im really elated that i get to be the paramedic assistant for the event as well. i cant wait for the event to commence. :)

its nt about being there, but its about how you get there

People tear when they become successful cuz they noe that all the struggle, all the hard work they put in, day and nite, had paid off.

its true that its not about the triumph but the struggle.

awesome cheering of flash in nyp

Everyday must be happy.

Yes. i must learn to be HAPPYHAPPY!

Today had our YOG celebration. it was prefectly awesome!

the people i met and see are really so motivating and absolute fun! The atmosphere was AMAZING! AWESOME!

People just love fun and hyper people dun they?

FUN AND GREAT EXPERIENCE TODAY!

Never regret being part of the NYP flashmobs for the YOG cheering of the flame. AWESOME!SOOOO SOOO AWESOME!

MUST BE EVERYDAY HAPPY! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

A word to describe myself.

DISAPPOINTMENT

questionable

i dun seem to understand why there are arrogant people living around. Do they have to go to that extent to Literally make use of people and then dump them when they're of no use or they dun listen to you completely? WTF. These people need to have a hard hard fucking hard lesson to learn that they're aint that great. Nastiest people i ever seen! i'll definitely condemn such people when i get to see them again. Dun forget, no matter how good you are, there will be people above that are better and way nicer then those arrogant people! DAMN IT. Must teach those arrogant people a fucking hard lesson!

Enuff of that shit.

Few days back i was lost in direction again, literally. i was wondering what am i fighting for times. i was questioning my actions and goals. But something made me realize why i have fight hard now. Not for myself. But for those evil around. i wana be FREAKING SUCCESSFUL so that i can teach evil people a hard lesson! i wana be freaking successful so that people around me have something to feel proud of, just like how proud am i to have a brother whose so smart and nicest personality ever. arrogant people need to learn to be humble! They need good people to teach them a lesson.

Now i know what i want. The world needs somebody to be there to help. I WANA be part of it! JIAYOU JIAYOU!. dun give up! and im 2kg away from my target weight. JIAYOU! dun give up! im halfway being tempted from all the fried food and stuff. EW! i hate fried food! i love VEGETS and FRUITS! i hate carbo! i need that 2kg! JIAYOU! you lost 3kg! 2more to go! you can man merina! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. JUS FILTER OFF THINGS THAT PULL U AWAY FROM UR GOAL. JIAYOU JIAYOU! :) AND GOTTA FIGHT HARD TO BE THE BEST OF THE BEST! JUST FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!

nice friend in sch. :)

some people are mean, while some are nice, caring and motherly. :x. opps. haha! of cuz she's not the mean one. nicest friend i found in sch. :D great that i met her.

"All you have to do is to believe, believe that you can, believe in yourself. believe in your capabilities. Trust yourself even other people dun, you just got to trust yourself! "

goal oh goal

Some people willing to work very hard so they can enjoy the fruit of their labor and smile and feel the sense of achievement and fulfillment that money cannot buy, that temptations can never beat. When you work hard and strive for your goal to reach it. People who support you are the ones whom god has send to help, these people who support you are called your friends. People who sabotage you are just passer-bys to get you down and move you further away from your goal. Its never easy to stick to your goal. But, there are some people would rather not work hard and enjoy the time now. These people will never be able to feel the sense of achievement, pride,happiness, confidence and respect from the people around. It feels good when you work hard cuz u noe that u do, you have a higher chance to be successful in the future.

Me? well, i have yet to decide about what i want to be successful in. There is just so many things i am interested in. Prolly i can focus in 1 and take all the rest as a hobby.

Everyday im learning about life, i feel that i might be too mature for my age. Gee. There are times you just wana have fun and do whatever your hearts tells you. Though you know its not right but u're just enjoying the time. When its time to enjoy, enjoy. When its time to be serious, be serious. Play and work cannot come together.

Gee. how how. there's so many things i wana do. i wana learn finance, i wana learn horse riding, i wana do great photoshoots, i wana earn loads and loads of $. So in future, i can travel all over the worldddd and experience every single corner of the universe that god created. And dive in the ocean and explore the underworld.

Seriously, no $ no go!

people says that im materialistic? thats the last thing on my mind. i dun go for LV etc. Even ah soh carrying LV, gee. degrade the good. Dunlike.

How can i earn more $? how? sighh. i wana work for my dream, not for $. so vex and frustrated. i dun mind working 28/7 to reach my goals when i decide on it. sometimes i do get frustrated when people are not willing to work hard. But there is nth much i can do cuz they have issues about themselves..

i dunno if i shld go for the horse riding lessons in woodlands. Cuz when i started working, the lessons gona be doubled. hmm. Prolly i can work there and ask for no pay but free lessons. Gee. i really really wana do horse riding. nvm. gona go for the first lesson and see it goes.

something to think about

Nothing comes off easy.

it reminded me that we should all fight hard for what we want.

And i also learn that friends are indeed very important. the people who you make friends with and hang around will somehow influences how you think. And thats where you got your family to remind you of your identity, values and morales.

This two sources of people are just so very important. Thats why we all got to choose our friends wisely.

Sometimes i tend to forget what i should be doing. But when the right people who has the same goal are there, it pushes you further and reminded you that hey, fight hard and dun give up okay!

why the hell am i slacking when i shouldnt be!

GEE! ive been using fb for more than i should. crap. Fb IS ADDICTIVE and its bad!. i nd a stop in this. its affecting me. MERINA BETTER STOP fb-ing. STOP! and study! JIAYOU! 1 last stretch to go. so many things to do. NYAA not done yet. crap! WTH AM I DOING?! yth am i wasting my time man! WAKE UP WAKE UP!

Does it pay to be nice?

Being too nice, u'll be taken for granted. Being too aggressive, you got no friends.being nice and balanced is the best option. Sometimes it really suck being too nice but than again, it sucks being like a bitch too when you realised that the person that u bitch to still treats u nice. gawd. that sort of feeling is makes you guilty,it does make you reflect whether are you being too nasty. But den again, you have to think and speak from what you mind tells you and not the heart. sometimes the only person who suffers is the nice person. Gee. i guess after coming to my course, i got to know so many understanding,caring and nice friends. Sometimes it really influences you to be that goodie good girl. i detest bitches, i really do. Especially those who are rude, disrespectful and proud. ew! its disgusting.

Today i told my friend about this gal who treated me like crap, i told her that she's actually kinda a nice person. And she reminded me of what she did to me since then. i actually forgot about the incident?!god! i can actually go and talk to her with a smile. that shows how forgiving i am.prolly cuz i decided to be her friend and accept who she is. be it whether she treats me nasty or not. But ohwell.. But after she reminded me of what she did to me. gawd, its disgust me. I can never forget the incident that happened to me in Year 1. it really tells alot. And i will never never forgive people who stabbed u up,down, left and right. treating u like they accept you for who u are. And all of the sudden, they came up with the most nasty crap on you. it really disgusts me. i cannot get how my classmates can talk about the pple that they hate so much. i cant. i think its just a waste of my time on such pple. im such a forgiving person, which i dunno it is a good thing or bad. The whole incident is repeating in my head again. i cant believe that after what everyone did to me, i still wana be kind and nice to them. gosh. that is something that i had to swallow since den and it really suck. MERINA! YOU GONA STAND UP FOR YOUSELF! its really hard when things din go well as it shld be. All ive to do is to tolerate. i think its better to tolerate den stand up for myself sometimes. Lucky god sent down this goodfriend to be with me in poly. There are nice pple but its really a tough choice to choose whether to want them to be your friend or not. This course has really taught me to grow.. people from varies colors and ages, the life that they lead. the perspective of how they view life. its really tough to work with some pple. And its even tougher to work with bitches. they just think so great of themselves. sometimes i really wonder when will my timebomb explode. it suck that sometimes you have t swallow what pple throw it to you cuz u noe that u need them. Gawd.i really dun want that to happen again. MERINA JIAYOU!

and my friend so cute,she says how cum i can get sick when she sees me like a warrior. lol. thanks uh.

ohwell. lengthy post!

i miss competitive sport cuz thats wer i can find ME. :(

i miss pple who are wiling to work hard

i miss pple who are motivated

i miss pple who preserver and fight til the end for what they want

i miss pple who deflect all the things that they do not want to hear

i miss being competitive

i dun like being so free.

i like being busy

i miss nice and caring friends who thinks about you

i miss telling people off

alrite. enuff of all these.

I JUST HAVE TO KEEP JIAYOU-ING!

JIAYOU JIAYOU ALL THE WAY!

JIAYOU! :)

Life will be meaningless without an aim

i think ive wasted enough time for now. Have been exploring my new phone for quite awhile to get a total hang about it and checking out how great the phone is. Time to get back on track. Gee. Have to score well for my presentation and my 3 papers! Since ive chiong-ed at the start, i think i shldnt be distracted again. There's simply just too many things to do. YOG flashmob? coca-cola/samsung motivators? My 2 holidays trip. And i haven even arrange for my bungy jump at Ticino, switerland. And my diving trip also haven plan yet. Gee. And i haven even think about my projects yet. I think its enuff of wasting time now. Pple are striving hard to achieve what they aim for and i am here wasting my time doing shits.

JIAYOU MERINA JIAYOU! Do what you want and just preserver and stick to it until you get what you want. JIAYOUUUUUU!!!

believe in yourself! study hard and play hard! And i must stick t the promise that i made to my bestfriend. GPA3.8 which i know i will not have a high chance to achieve but will do my very best! "BFF you better score well too!" :)

Progession of my teeth :)

SMILE. :)

Straight lower teeth?

Another shot of my smile. :)

Nice smile? hehe

We cannot deny that the World is superficial and judgemental. We cannot blame for the world to be this way because we can never influence the whole world regardless of how much we tell people not to be judgemental. This is human nature. Even i judge too. Tell me you dun, i would like to meet u. What we can only do is to change ourselves for the better. "if the mountain cannot come to mohd, mohd will go to the mountain"-Ghandi

its been awhile

Its been awhile since i long blogged cuz its been awhile since ive been thinking alot. So i think i shouldnt be neglecting on my many years old blog. haha. Suddenly i started to question myself again. Why do i wana work hard and what am i working hard for? Just to score well and see where i can go? hmm.yea. prolly. i'm still trying very very very hard to keep myself focus. Sometimes you just get yourself distracted when you do not think of your goals. So have to think of it all the time to keep on track. And i realised that i only have 3 papers this time. :) so i expect myself to do well for all 3 papers! yes! its not high expectation. its my aim, and i want to achieve! have to score well. wad im afraid of is my PRCP for the 2nd semester. 12wks man. no worries. i can survive,thats a definitely yes thing. Nothing can get me down! :) you know why? cuz im MERINA. :) and Merina will always be tough! yeayea! :)

JYJY!

and im still waiting for that person to come back to me. its been 3months plus already.why cant u just come back?

sch meetings

My friend damn awesome, she has already plan all out nicely for all our PROJECTS, not jus one but many. and oh, did i tell u that its so creepy cuz no matter which group member who went t draw lots for the ICA presentation, we all gotten as the first group? but well, ive broken the chain and i got what i asked for. The last group. LOL. And i literally jumped for joy. haha! while my whole class so very quiet. lol

And today wen to get my galaxy S phone. the swype is damn awesome. really. but im just too used to using two hands instead. And while i was climbin to my sis's bike, my leg touches the exhaust pipe and rubbed against it. OUCH! freaking painful. but my face was expressionless. i was like "wahlau,fuck. pain, jie, it looks like dirt on my leg rite. ha ha!" zzz. i cant believed i can still laugh. zzz. But it literally looks like fried skin,my skin was torn and black.zzz i think i need lots of VIT C and sunburnt. ohman. der goes my beautiful legs. :(

Wednesday got Nursing lab assessment. Gee.Gona hav to Ace that. it has the highest weightage among the rest of the modules and plus, i think ive screwed 2modules already. Now have t work hard to Ace this assessment and the rest of the presentation. JIAYOU! :)

Past and present

Sometimes i wonder whether issit all worth it. Going thru all the hassles to get my braces done and Jaw surgery in the future when i do not look that bad. I do ponder sometimes. Even before the Jaw surgery and braces, i dun look that bad, i dunhave any funtional problems or issues. im doing this cuz i just wanted to look better. Sigh. But ive already made this decision, a decision that will have a metal hinge in my Jaw for the rest of my life, to have to wear retainers for the rest of my life. i really wonder if ive made the correct decision. Sigh.

Grad nite

Was psycho-ed to go. Time really flies, last year of poly already. Gee! And im gona be an Adult in like a year time. I DUN WANA GROW UP! i still wana be playful and childish as ever! i realised im not as playful as before now, not as crazy and happy as before now. Gee! i need that back.

Sometimes we just forget who we are and what we should be doing. it takes conscious effort to keep on track.

rebonding

Today's sociology paper was crap for me. such disappointment.

Anw, went ahead to do soft rebonding at WM cuz my mom signed up for the package,since its free den just go lorrr. But, they made me buy their shampoo and conditioner at 44$. Gee! If i din go ahead with the rebonding, i'll prolly save up that $44. Ohwell, i duno how my hair will turn out to be since today is the first day of rebonding my virgin wavy hair away. :( im gona miss that. But i tot since my hair will still grow back, aiya, just go ahead with the treament. it took me freaking 4HRS to get this hair done and i was so freaking urgent den but i endured. And the guy says that i cannot wash my hair for two days and cannot tie my hair and go swimming for 2wks! :( ohwell, cant wait for my new hair!new look! KEWLL. haha! And ouh. and my teeth has shift quite a fair bit. Even the bite has changed and i changed my brackets to PINK! but heck, it turned out to be yellow after like a day. :( wthhhh. it de-colourise?? zzz.

thats all amigo. im gone for now. :)

:)

ANYONE WANT A SMOOCH FROM ME?! hehe.

"I cant seem to get you out of my mind"

tapped on my humane side

Holy crap.

Guess wad, this lady went from door t door t sell dried sausages and she's in her 60-70yo. she looks exactly like an auntie tending a stall. i dunno whether she's coning pple or she's really telling the truth but she tapped on the humane side of me. Sympathy and empathy. Gee! i saw her so pityful and i let her. Be it whether she's conning or not, at least she made the afford t go around asking from door t door. My heart melt wen i see Auntie going from door t door t sell her stuffs. but her dried sausauge is expensive. $15 for 1 pack. Mom din want t buy from her but i still gave her $15 from my pocket. Seeing her doing that really kinda heart breaking. And den she says that she cannot take pple's $ and she insist t shaft the dried sausage t me. And den after that she asked t use our house toilet cuz she stomach ache. She insist t let her use the toilet, i wanted t let her in,being the kind and nice human being and my mom can be in the room,staring at her stocks and says NO! wow. its easy for her t say no cuz she wasnt in my shoe t see the Auntie's puppy look. Gee! so i told her mom says no and she says its okay, she'll go downstairs t use the toilet. Alemak. if she's really conning, its really rare t see auntie con. If my mom wasnt around, perhaps i will let her use our toilet. I feel sooo cruel t reject her. Easy for my mom t say no! But anw i'll just treat it as a donation t elderly since its been awhile for doing donation.

but on second thoughts, i feel like following her and seeing what she's really up to and what she says is the truth. But nah.. let other pple do the thing.

Gee!

i realised something, i realised that everyday i look at my blog, looking at what i wana achieve and stuff. i realised that im getting nearer to it each day. Does it shows how powerful the subconcious mind can take u? Say the media kept advertising Nude fashion, nude colour etc etc etc. And somehow, out of no wer, u will decide t go for Nude stuffs. But frankly, i love Nude and brown colour. Natural is still the best. Writing is something that really helps you reflect and recall what you did. its good to write alot cuz it helps you t "dis-cloud" your mind. hurhur. writing helps you t clarify your thoughts basically. writing what you think and feel. :)

And hopefully blogger dun close down in future, cuz if it does, i''ll breakdown and gona have a hard time carrying myself back up.All the years of writing since my teenages years. The journey of growing up. Gee!

CANT WAIT

SO EGGCITEDDD!

Gona go to Italy and Bali this semester break. :) and maybe going to Paris and switerland too. The only thing im looking forward is the fun that we're gona experience. The lifestyle,food,scenary and extremeeeeee sports! Gona go Bali for my open dive course and once pass, if possible, gona go Italy to scuba dive for leisure. Not sure how safe it is but its wad im planning for. If possible, gona go Italy for white water rafting! And hopefully im going to London so i can be doing my Bungee Jumping and SKYDIVINGGGG! :D

WEEEE! ITS GONA BE ONE HELLA AN EXPERIENCE FOR ME IN THS LIFETIME. Really cant wait. meanwhile ive to save up alot of $$ and study hard for my current exams.

My wishes gona come trueeeeee. weeheeeheee. And my dad's wish also gona come true. i bet his more eggcited den i am! he's gona spend 10days in ROME praying and to see all the churches and meeting POPE Benedict. thats what he always wanted.All i want is to experience all the extreme sports that SG dun offer. hmm. Den if confirm going t London, i can look for my friend t hangout. Gee! i felt guilty and bad for not meeting her wen she flew back to SG. Now gona fly her to meet her. :) sorry sam.

so so eggggggggggcitedddddd hahahahahahah!

BORED DAY

BORED DAY.

CUZ ITS

STUDYING DAY! :|

CME :)

This is what we do when we're boreddddddd! hurhur...

pondering

i think trees are the most amazing living thing ive seen. It can still be firm and standing and growing even bigger and stronger despite all the odds of stormy weather,floods and blazing hot sun. Even tho there are a couple of branches fall, still. it is growing bigger and bigger each day. Til the day that it can shelter people, build tree house etc etc.Lets jus exclude the human being cutting down trees for the usefulness of them. i think that is something we all shld learn about.

To challenge the odds.

Gee. loads of pondering of life lately. hurhur.

WHY?! and u got the answer of your question. And now how?! how to get it done? i have to do it but HOW?!

Thats the question of what everyone should or have been seeking,the HOW question.

umpired

Umpired Div 4 game just now. As usual, after the whole of the game, it felt like ive taken a shower in my umpire's attire. If we dun sweat like we've just got pushed into the swimming pool, i dun think we're really umpiring.

And ouh, lucky there is the circle line, finally stadium station is opened. dun have t waste $ on taking bus now. And ive estimated my time, it takes about an hr from my place t KNC, including all the walking and waiting. But it doesnt beat driving a car down. takes only about 30mins++ Gee. im still having thoughts on whether t get a bike. But i dun hav enuff cash yet. Geee. And its so dangerous. But i think i shld be contented with the public transport.Imagine if im in overseas.gee! i think its gona take like a few hours t get somewer!

And ouh, umpired Div 4. And two umpire coaches says "GOOD" :) how awesome. But still have to take note of alot of things. And E. is really enlightening. i think he can really relate and widen my perspective.He given me the frank WHY talk and den today was the HOW talk. thanks E. i really really felt that u relly really enlighten me alot. Not just on umpiring alone but also enlighten me generally. it really really helps me t improve as a person as well.no wonder der's a saying"SPORTS DUN JUST BUILD CHARACTERS,IT REVEALS IT"

"when there is opportunities, grab it and dun wait becuz opportunities are not easy to come by"

head pain. :' (

gee! iv been sleeping with my hair wet almost everyday and now im like having a severe headache. :( sooooo pain. :'(

And i never knew that waking up in the morning to run feels so great! the smell of the morning air. ahhh... energizing. been waking up early in the morning to run to start my day and sleeping early to end my day. it feels great. :) But now im having a severe headache, how to conc on my studies. :(

later got umpiring at KNC. i guess ive really improved alot. i think ive to really thank E. for that major major feedback e other nite. its not easy being an umpire. fitness has to be up and has to be mentally strong. thats wad i FEEL. so! that makes umpiring really challenging. And the more challenging it is, the more i wouldnt wana give up. ouhwell, HEADDDD PAINNNN :(

and do u believe in law of attraction? because i totally believe in it. TOTALLY.

sleek body

Give me a sleek and tone body.

Manage it from the start

Continued on the previous post. i was reading merry riana's blog on her journey of her life. Truely, she is an inspiring woman.

She earn her first million in sales industry selling insurance under prudential when she was only 23. she works really really hard and she said" there is no elevator to success" i believe in that quote. It is never a short cut to success. it always take HARD WORK. And now, she owns her firm life insurance firm called merry riana's organisation. wow. thats really motivating. she's my role model now.

Gotta work really really hard. JIAYOU! :)

inspiring article.

A CREED TO LIVE BY
(Author: Nancyesims)

Don't undermine your worth by comparing
yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each
of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people
deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest
to your heart,
Cling to that as you would your life, for without
them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the
days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over … until the moment
you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less
than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's
impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your Dreams. To be without
dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget
where you've been,
But also know where you're going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
every step of the way.

Taken from Merry Riana's blog. i think she's a really inspiring asian lady who earns her first million when she's 26! Gee. google her

STUDY HARD & PLAY HARD

"Some lessons are better learned through observation, rather than experience. "

hmm.. i should start doing that alot more often.

:)

PHOTOSHOOTS BABEY! :D

pondering on life

When you are young, its only right that you spend your youth wisely and experience everything before you grow old and everything starts to wither. By the time you realised what exactly you want in life, its already too late, it will never be as great when you started younger. it is true that you should follow your dreams and do what you want in life. it is right that you live life just once.

it is right to be hardworking and gain as much as possible out of what you do.

Live life wisely. There's still so much more to explore in this universe. Life is indeed short. A blink of an eye, 20years of my life has pass..i should have gone for what i wanted and stick to it but i wasnt sure if that is what i wanted, to excel in sports. i really regretted not doing it earlier..wen u're young , u really have no idea what you want in life. no wonder kids have to be pushed all the time.i couldnt let my life go just like that again..

:)

I miss you actually,if you know who you are.

When there is no one else, there is you.

National YEC 2010 race!

My mascot wore the inside as the outside. lol! Joke of the day. No wonder he can sweat so much faster!. haha! But well done JM.! u did an excellent job. :) but i dunno why my mascot ended up without a mouth. zzz. and i dunno why my mascot T-shirt so tight fitting.And my mascot was supposed to be FAT! come to think of it! But ohwell, everyone still loves the mascot. :)

Thats all i have for the event. The rest of the photos are with the photographer and the committee.

Today was 1 hell of a day for me.

The moment i reached the destination, i saw pple wearing the T-shirt designed by my friend S. i felt really happy and proud of her. i was secretly smiling once going to the registration area. And the whole committee has only 1 goal, which is to make this whole event a success! And apparently it did! Just abit of hiccups here and there. Everyone was very friendly, helpful and cooperative. :) Thats wad it shld be. Its so much easier wen everyone has the same goal. You help one another.

Woke up at 530.FYI. i spent a total of 12hrs at the event to help out. M. i want my CIP hours hor! ha ha!

Reached at 715, was alot clueless on what to do cuz my PR side was to jus design what was given. I am proud of my designer friend S. afterall, design student still noes better.ohwell. Even the simplest design for the cert, i cannot even do properly. how am i even supposed to do the photography backdrop? it would be a disaster! But i was quite disappointed in myself cuz I FAILLED!

i failed to finish what i was given. I failed to do it and give it my best. it would not happen again. i promise!

So den, my mascot finally arrived! i was totally so proud and ecstatic cuz everyone loves my mascot. awww! that was the very moment that $ cannot buy. the moment of satisfaction and fulfillment. You may think that its so easy to just come up with an animal. But trust me, wen you are really doing it. i was really clueless! clueless! which animal? which exactly? shld i choose this? shld i choose that? no, it doesnt reflect on the environment, i cant jus choose this cuz i like it. the mascot has t be chosen for a meaning. ahh. stressed! it was so hard to make a decision. Den, have to think about the shirt, what colour it shld be, dark green?light green?brown?blue?dark blue? but its not suitable,hmm. Think dark green still reflects best on the environment. :)

Help here and there, ended up, taking care of my mascot the whole day. fun fun!

Cant wait for the pictures to be up.

So we packed up after and headed home. Took the train back and i was standing cuz its so packed.suddenly this stupid ahlian malay baby dropped the bottle of wadeva black syrup inside on the floor and it spilled onto my leg. nb. i have t scold vulgarities. fuck man. SO PISSED OFF! urgh! its like so sticky! bldyhell.so i turned around and ask them for tissue papers and they say dunhave. nb. even more pissed off, instantly my face got so black and blood rushes up to my face. i can feel the heat. it felt like at any moment i can jus stab them. thats how mad i was. urghh! so pissed! i wanted to quarrel with them in the train but apparently my brain function slightly slower until like few mins later. waahhh. ta boleh tahan sia! stupid malay mom. urgh!Best still, there are indian kids infront of me playing with eachother. bldyhell, stepped on my topshop shoe! nb. not just once but many times. urgh! wads with today man! after that took the train at JE,wahh. i was sitted next t this TYPICAL indian man, wahhhh. the odor is O.M.G. ur respiratory system can instantly tell ur brain to STOP BREATHING. wads with today man seriously.

Lastly, mom complaint t dad about her meds and i asked her wad happened. she said i told her t take double dose of antibiotic. O.M.G! i tot i saw 2 tabs! but it was 2 times! wahhh. my eyes playing tricks.prolly i was too tired den. crap! luckily nth happened to her and no wonder for the past few days she had headache. that was the SE. wahh. i am deem t b punished. wth la merina! own mom also can be so careless. deem to be scolded too.

Tell me, isnt this 1 hella day for me?And i cant sleep yet, need to study. Tim sms me t go club. crazyy mannnnn. Tmr still need t meet my friend t celebrate bday,mon meeting another friend t catch up. wahh. i will nv change. Busy and hardworking as a bee!

KEEP FIGHTING MERINA!

:)

"It will never be a easy journey to achieve your goals, never will"

pondering

is it normal to have second thoughts about what you are about to do? i am having seconds thoughts on going to do Jaw surgery to correct my jaw misalignment,however its only just a slight misalignment but i cannot turn back now. Since ive decided, ive to stick to it. Besides the orthodontist has already extracted two of my teeth. Sigh. am i making the right decision to even go for the Jaw surgery? And i suddenly realized that why my orthodontist pluck out 2 of my teeth?! Shldnt he jus pluck 1 out since he is just gona pull my other teeth in line?y must pluck the other? Gee! It is all worth the pain for what i want? Gee..

what u want out of your live?

"Study the past, live the present and plan for the future."

Some people pissed me off today! urgh.

suprised.

Dad says that dun expect so much from people cuz at the end of the day, what you get in return is disappointment.

ohwell. i have to agree to that. And my poly friends actually gave me my bday PREZZIE! awww. so sweet of them and they did the card during lectures. awww. becuz of me they din listen to lectures. hmm. that was a suprised! THANKS BABES! :)

And ouh. Gona thanks my bffs and their boyfriends who celebrated my bday. me footing the bill was unexpected mann. thats so not the tradition lorrr. ohwell.. but thanks for the effort and the gift. :) cant believed we've been friends for 7years already? we must continue t contact until we attend each other's wedding oh. :)

how to get to my goal?

Umpired tonite's Div 6 game, E. said that ive improved. :D

Gotta continue t keep practicing and learn from the Best. Indeed its about the journey, not exactly the destination yet. Its not easy getting to the destination but thats wad u want, so u gona stay focus and fight it hard. Humans are judgmental and im guilty of that,however ive been learning not to judge but to understand what made them be this way. u get scoldings, u get backstabbing, u get criticizing, u get people complaining about u. u get people judging you that you're hopeless. But who cares. really, at the end of the day, u got to know what exactly u want, what exactly is your goal. Be it if people are faster. so what?! at the end of the day, you still get what you want, just that u're slower. but really SO WAD? i guess im beginning to understand what it takes to get to your goal. ive to stick to these and finish up what i intend for since ive decided to get it started, i shld finish it. Thats my principle of life.

And today, ive got a friend who said this: enjoy now, you dunno wen u're gona die, what if u die tmr?"

i wasnt really pondering over this qn cuz i say that wad if god wants you to continue to live until u're old and withered? If i were to die tmr, it means that im a god damn kind person that god decided to take me back with him. As far as possible, i wana live for a meaning and not give in to temptations.

Til date, my long term goal is still stuck in my head, thinking..all the time and how am i gona get there.

i dun love $, ive got a goal, or rather many goals and tat requires me t have $$.

i jus wana retire in Australia or somewer that is paradise! i wana own a horse stable and let handicapped kids to ride horses! i wana be in paradise. And how the hell do i get there? no $ no paradise! i wana scuba dive everyday, i wana be financially free so that i can travel werever i want, explore this whole EARTH that god has created and help the kids in poorer countries. Am i born to do all that?

ohwell, just letting my thoughts run thru to get me back on track, on my goal.

til den. :)