screw up timetable. overcome-ed! :D

hello blog,

here i am blogging again, school started and my timetable is so screwed that i actually spent 2 full hours sorting out my screwed up timetable. at least i managed to get it sorted out.

now have to get that timetable sorted out during attachment as well. lucky this coming posting is at IMH. pretty near to my school. like 10mins to sch by car? if only ive gt a bike.

geee, bike licence next! tho many have told me abt how dangerous it is. ohwell, i jsut have to OPEN my eyes big big! and becareful lor, or the most i get a scooter. vespers haha.

and school is tough! i dun get wad the teachers talking, they talk like bullet train. :( i have a hard time catching up. im slow. :'( so stupid.

and i kept thinking of the horse riding lesson almost all the time ever since i said i wanted horse riding lessons. gee. i rather have my passion and love for something that is ALIVE den something dead like a "flying disc" seriously.

chosen PE as elective

WAH.

finally i got to choose my PE elective. :)

it din last on the E-online registration for even 5MINS!

muhaha. this time i owned. YES!

cheap thrill im having here.haha.

alrite. back to revision.

this sem i must be a good girl from on now.

adios.

PASSed my tp!

alrite. i passed my tp test alr! phew. but haven gotten my licence yet. gee. can drive car alry.

gona pray and bless the car before i drive man. der's so many things to learn, the way to getting pt A to pt B. gee.

and i suddenly tot of learning to ride horse. since young, i love seeing horses and riding horses. i feel like learning horse riding, den once i am god damn good in it, rich enuff to open up a horse riding school in some other country, haven tot of wer yet. having a ranch with premium horses, having a sheep dog, having my instructors, having students, having a house beside my horse riding school. wow.

best if i can ride my horse down to the market to buy groceries, riding my horse to school, having the horse on the road instead of bikes or cars. if only.. haha. that dream will not happen in i am now. gee.

and i guess frisbee shall be jus going for leisure thats all.

i want horse riding.

and i have yet to go for my scuba diving yet.

so many things to play while im alive.

bungy,sky diving, scuba diving with the sharks and whales, horse riding, parachuting, water rafting, fishing in the ocean to fish for sword fish,hot air balloon, be a killerwhale trainer, swimming with dolphins, water sports, more wakeboarding. sailing, getting a scrabble which i doubt i do have a chance(if only)

gee. see, life is more den jus hitting the mall, going shopping, catching a movie. that is not the kind of life tat i want. that isnt a life at all.

gona work towards it. earn more $ to filfull all my play dreams.

up next, horse riding lessons.

hopefully i have the passion to continue all the way, enquire all the skills and knowledge, i do wana be great in something. to be a professional equestrian .after that, earn enuff, go to overseas and open a horse riding school and own it.wow. thast really my dream. having pple to come over for leisure, having my own town with more stalls,can ride horse over to buy groceries etc. hmm.

dream oh dream. will it ever come true. hmmm.

miley cryus-THE CLIMB

i was so damn bored today so i decided to SING SONG and post it here. hahaha.

its for baby to listen cuz i sang super horribly in the phone. hopefully this time round is better!

i think the lyrics is quite meaningful. :)

BOREDOM make me do things. 8)

cant wait to see baby later. hehe!

life

hmmm. i was so in dilemma that i typed on the internet whether should we be content with our life now or seek something more?

think again, i think we should seek something more, so der is a motivation in our lives. prolly feeling content in certain part of your life should be fine but i guess we still need to seek more den what we have in other parts of our lives so we have that push to carry on living. right?

hmm. i think we chinese aint as contented as the malays..thats wad i think. * decipher it yourself. haha! just based on what i think, dun mean to be racist here though. afterall, im still figuring out the true meaning of life and my values of being a human here in life. hmmm..i guess ive figured out alot through this whole school term break. it makes me wonder alot,like literally. :)

ive tried to experience things myself,trying to be in other people's shoes for awhile and feel what they felt. i guess i was too over myself sometimes due to past achievements but i forgot one very important thing! there are many better ones out in the world that is doing MUCH better den what i have achieved. what i achieved are peanuts, what i achieved cannot live up to the what others can. i shouldnt think so highly of myself.

frisbee made me think alot actually. no wonder they says sports build characters. hahah. i guess i am really trying to find out what sort of person i am thru frisbee. i think that my sch's frisbee system is like what you face in current life. if you want to represent the school, u have to do what it takes to get there and not doing self-pity so others will pity you and give you a chance t be on top. gee. my mentality towards life change INSTANTLY. no wonder they says gemini are adaptable. hahaha!

and den again, in my previous post, i mentioned to be ME, well, i think its kinda vague. what i meant was to be the better side of me and not be the worse side of me. haha!. wow. this whole holiday and frisbee thing really made me growing. hahah!

and also, i read from the internet about this incident where der is this priest, who is always been praised for being humble has been awarded a humble award, and the next day he wears it to church den this award has been stripped becuz he was proud that he won that award.

geee...what do you think of this short story. hmm.

CIAO!

luxurious life

its good to once awhile search for some youtube videos for some motivation to get you going! NV GIVE UP and preserver is the key! but of cuz intelligence,observation and humbleness is critical as well. continue to FIGHT ON regardless wad.

TIME TO WORK LIKE DOG VERY VERY SOON! PLAY TIME IS OVER!

but den im having second thoughts. what if all i do is to work hard, wouldnt my youth be gone soon?and i'll become an old hag den?geee. someone,please enlighten me. to be content now or to seek for something more? *in great dilemma. :(

FUN NO FUN

wow. spent eight hundred over for the pass 2 months of FUN.

gee! it shows that FUN do comes with a huge price to pay for.

Time to go back to the usual mundane life for long term purpose. :)

From now on, i shan't take myself too seriously and just be ME. even megan fox dun give a damn about what other pple think of her. As long as she noes what is her goals and its up to her whether to change or nt.

so yea, its good to hear what others have to say about you.

hmm. i guess its time to be ME. i wana see what others have to say about me. tat would be pretty interesting..

:)

PS: experiencing life changes would be fun at times.

we should noe abit of our home. :)

emo

hello blog,

gee! i haven been emo-ing for sometime to you now. issit a good thing or a bad thing?

the mentality that im having now is bad.

i noe that i should not give up! i wanted to perform well during trg today and coach sent me over to the lousy team. prolly i dun deserve a space in a better team. i dunno.. somehow he is always picking on me! every god damn training, he will definitely call my name once! he knowing my name for the wrong reasons. i felt ashamed, i wanted to do my best but he dun believe that i can, he seem to always find fault with me. why?! issit becuz i look like his previous enemy? i dunno u noe.

i dunno what and how it gave him the stupid impression that im not working hard. so wtf!

im like the fucking hard working player ever in other sports. sigh! and he has to do this to me! im always ready to look forward to every trg so i can do well and progress up but he has alr got this god damn concept in his head that im a lousy player and i should stay with the weaker players. sigh! i think i shldnt entirely put the blame on him.

prolly ive change since i came poly and many things happened in my life WHICH pple usually it will make you grow stronger.

However, i dunno really.. i seem to be worse. pple change for the better, i changed for the worse.

i lost my strength,lost my self-esteem, lost my aggressiveness, lost my own opinion, lost my competitiveness,lost the desperation for more praises and lost the motivating me.

i dunno wad gotten to me. ive changed to the worse.i tried being more reserved for a change cuz i was too aggressive and kinda loud den. but it seems like its getting no wer and worse! im not learning anything.. sigh.

this is wad happens wen u're getting advices not from the right people. i dunno really. or issit im thinking too much?

usually for spontanous incident that happened, i always have a solution for it, be it gona be sucky or not. its still a solution and pple do take it. But now i got no solution and i dun even bother to think of a solution and let pple think it for me. thats BAD!

i used to be the more initiative type but now? just relac and let pple deal with it. gee! wad happened to me! wer the hell is that old merina? GEE! i really do miss the old me. :'(

im wasting my life during nth productive at all.

I LOST MY FOCUS IN LIFE.

i wana cryyyyy.. :(