I shouldnt let anyone to tell me what i cannot do. 

or maybe its not frustration or anger

Its something missing, the drive. the accelerator is missing from my car. i think i need to find it back.

take control of your life merina! come on! dun screw it!

i need you.

i need you but yet i cant need you. i think i need someone whom i can trust and listen to all my frustrations and anger which i dun think you are at the right moment to listen now. its time for the explosion to occur again. its been keeping inside for too long, i can feel it.

i nv felt such anxiety before.

It was the worse anxiety ever. After knowing that i pass my paper, it was a BIG relief for me. it took me few days to weeks to have that courage to see my results. i damn scared the whole time. haha.

So i think ive pretty much plan out what i wana do already. Gona do my Advance dip or degree in SG while serving my 2yrs bond in NHC,hopefully can get into ICU ward. And fly to Aussie with my friends and work there. Parents planning to fly over to get a hourse there for retirement too. Hope all things can go as plan. 

:)

netball-ed

Umpired today's coporate games, gee. the last quarter was intense! player even glare and stare at me for that minor minor infringements that i din blow. So yup, picked up even more and will handle that well in future. 

Anyway, i joined Mr Liew's Net4all games and the level 1 umpires were being tested, gee. i dun think they did great. Even me as a player do get frustrated, now i really do feel how the players felt wen i din blow for those infringements. The level 1 umpires are really not confident with their calls and they dun seem to know what is going on, well. i had fair share too. Players see those umpires that is really green and new loves to eat them alive! Now as i see things as a player's prospective and how i felt about the umpires that aint so sure about the rules and stuff. It made me indeed learn how to handle the players better. 

Overall, i grown a day stronger now. 

:)

cooked :)

Woked up and started cooking potato chips. hmm. Tasted quite nice but i only cooked abit to try if its good. Overall not bad. haha :) And ouh, i wanted to cook carrot rice that look like that but the bad news is that it doesnt look like that but the good news is that its tasted yummy! :) 

Washed my mum's bedsheets and mine as well. Later going out for some work orientation. im having second thoughts if i should go. hmm

fitness :) and exercise!

I think every singaporean female should start exercising! slim but not tone at all. Really inspired watching this.



And i stumbled upon this Disco health club video. Amazing innovative concept isnt it? i wonder will people ever go for it if it happened in SG? hmm


And lastly, i stumbled upon this as well.



haha! GOOD WORK OUT! CAN BURN OFF SOME CALORIES! today i asked my friend if i should lose more weight and she said yes! alrightttt! i shall lose more fats and be more tone den. ive yet to reach a tone body cuz i wonder if i shld have a tone body. Will it scare off people?PLEASE TELL ME! :)

Post paper stress

Now im having post paper stress. damn scared. the day i dun get back my results, i dun think i can let myself sleep or play in peace. Sheesh. Next semester is my attachments and its where all the module credits lie. 40module credits in 2 modules. PRCP and attachments. Im going stress again. i think i should start revising to prepare myself for the attachments. Pre-attachments-stress. :( i tried calculating my overall, if i were to ace my 2modules next semester, i still cannot hit a cumulative of 3. :( Die la. Now ive really regretted why din i study harder in the beginning. Its really true that ive ruin the whole poly life from Year 1,the time that i tot things were simple. Merina oh merina. Underestimate your course already. Nothing is easy. Sigh. stupidity is a word to describe myself.
Nevertheless, i sldnt let that pull me down. Just have to continue to JIAYOU!
wahhh. im really so stressed up now. i told myself not to have unnecessary stress but it seem like ive taken things too lightly now. :( damn. Now i hate myself.