Monday, June 20, 2011

dreams


Nowadays it’s difficult to look at life positively.
I stopped watching the news a long time ago, because it’s simply to depressing. Recession, disasters, war on terror, plain stupid decisions the politicians make. Plenty of things that can either make you cry or piss you off. Add to that your personal life – bills, work, relatives, relationship issues, etc. – and it’s almost enough to have yourself admitted to a mental institute.
What is that one thing you always wanted to achieve? Successful career? A published book? To take your family on a trip to Disney World Japan? Or maybe you’re dreaming of buying a yellow Lamborghini one day?
Whatever it is, it’s good. Even if you’ll never make it. You did good.
I dream. I dream of happiness. I dream of one day one person walks up to me and thanks me because I changed his life. Only one.
That’s why I blog. To pursue that dream.
A dream isn’t necessary an illusion. Sometimes they come true. Sometimes they don’t. But they always stimulate you t keep going. They occupy your mind when times are hard.
Dreams are thoughts that you can always fall back on. So you won’t feel empty. You won’t feel useless. You’ll feel better. Good enough to deal with whatever you’re dealing with. Even the most difficult of times.
You might not achieve that one dream. But you’ll achieve many others.
Chase it for all that it’s worth. Because then, and only then, you can be sure that when you’re old and grey you’ll be able to look back on life and have no regrets.

Monday, June 06, 2011

stressed

The older i get, the more liabilities ive to pay. there isnt much difference btw getting more pay or less. i think i shouldnt say that. in actual fact, i am spending more and hardly able to save much at all. Having tension headaches thinking of all these. im not in control of my own life. i need to earn more $. My shift work is killing me but i shldnt let that hinder me. Im giving excuses and blaming about everything else but the only person that can change the situation is ME! me,myself and i! Why shld i blame others and hving excuses for such sucky situations that i am in? its not gona change anything about my life. i need to strive and motivate myself! i need to tell myself that its a challenge for me to get thru this stronger. wow. writing really helps me to clear up my thoughts, without writing, i got a hard and blurry fragments of thoughts. dismotivated, unhappy,stress and pressured. thats what im feeling right now. im not exactly lost. i mean i always thought i am when im not writing to clear up my thoughts. But in fact, i need the cash to do investments. i need to save up the $! there's so many things to think about,that explains why he always say im stressed cuz i grind my teeth very loud at night everyday. Am i gona end up in my sister's plight? stress,unhappy,pressured and dismotivated as well? i think im alr behide her running in her journey. i need to talk to her to understand how she feels exactly but we hardly able to communicate like older sister guiding her younger one. she doesnt have the time to guide me and tell me whats wrong. For him, he's always saying me, he doesnt bother to do smth sweet and simple to make me smile. he gets pissed when im pissed. ive got my own pressure and problems but he doesnt understand and he get pissed for i blowin up at times which makes me even more stressed and pressured. shouldnt have celebrated my 21st as its the year where you're gona face alot of responsibilities. tough challenge god has given me but just gotta pull thru this and fight!  Thinking of a bigger picture scares me. lets just take things one step at a time.

Friday, June 03, 2011

so good to feel this way again!

i never felt sooooooooo great after so long! Dance made me alive! or i should say body kinetics and sweating makes me alive! After soooo long! im glad that i made that impulsive move on learning O school street jazz! Now im taking Street Jazz II and its amazing! Eve is an AMAZING AND FABULOSOOOO TEACHER! :) After starting work, my life was mandane and i felt so dead! lucky ive gt my dance and music to make me alive again. :) When im sad, i listen t music, wen im dead bored, i listen to music, when i hyper happy,i dun listen to music. When im tired, i listen to music. okay. wateva laaaaa. :)))) 
it feels great that u're working out your body! 
I love sweating like a pig! FEELS GREAT! :D
im planning to go O school open class after my street jazz II. :) EGGCITED! i duno why when it comes to nursing job,im like a dead fish. But when it comes to dance or running or netball or anything that requires sweating,im HYPPPERR LIKE NOBODY BUSINESS! 
Dance Dance Dance,swim swim swim,run run run! Its the only time that i can get away from all the nags,responsibilities,stress,problems,headaches! 
And i think my body is annoying me! i need a personal trainer! i wanna be like slimmer and lighter but yet, when i exercise and eat less! my weight gone up and people says cuz i gain muscle mass which in face muscle mass is heavier den fats, so okay,fine. i stop exercising and i gain more fats but which in fact,my weight is lesser however i look fabby! it totally suck! Its really annoying me! REALLY! But wateva! im still gona stick to exercising and eating healthily, after all its ur health tat is more impt isnt it? 
Aight fellows,im done for now. 
:)
ADIOS AMIGO