fitness :) and exercise!

I think every singaporean female should start exercising! slim but not tone at all. Really inspired watching this.



And i stumbled upon this Disco health club video. Amazing innovative concept isnt it? i wonder will people ever go for it if it happened in SG? hmm


And lastly, i stumbled upon this as well.



haha! GOOD WORK OUT! CAN BURN OFF SOME CALORIES! today i asked my friend if i should lose more weight and she said yes! alrightttt! i shall lose more fats and be more tone den. ive yet to reach a tone body cuz i wonder if i shld have a tone body. Will it scare off people?PLEASE TELL ME! :)

Post paper stress

Now im having post paper stress. damn scared. the day i dun get back my results, i dun think i can let myself sleep or play in peace. Sheesh. Next semester is my attachments and its where all the module credits lie. 40module credits in 2 modules. PRCP and attachments. Im going stress again. i think i should start revising to prepare myself for the attachments. Pre-attachments-stress. :( i tried calculating my overall, if i were to ace my 2modules next semester, i still cannot hit a cumulative of 3. :( Die la. Now ive really regretted why din i study harder in the beginning. Its really true that ive ruin the whole poly life from Year 1,the time that i tot things were simple. Merina oh merina. Underestimate your course already. Nothing is easy. Sigh. stupidity is a word to describe myself.
Nevertheless, i sldnt let that pull me down. Just have to continue to JIAYOU!
wahhh. im really so stressed up now. i told myself not to have unnecessary stress but it seem like ive taken things too lightly now. :( damn. Now i hate myself.

TeacherTeachers arent tt mean afterall

Kiss mee

I gt pinkfluenced!

Haha. Trying to look like the model above. Okay. i look at least abit rite. :-)

I tested the Chanel's new lipgloss. Its supposed t b pink but it looked red.

:(

When you knew something will happen and the possible outcome may happen, people do not see it but u're not firm enough to make your stand to prevent the possible outcome from happening, it happens and who to blame? Yourself or others? 

i hate myself. 

Im useless

Im weak

Im stupid

Im so pissed! i hate myself

Out with my friend

Salut!

:D

C'est Je and mon Taiwan friend. Met at Bali. She came to Singapore for transit. 

Had fun. 

Hope to see her soon again. 

:)

Au revoir!

wisdom tooth extraction

I just had my Wisdom tooth extracted. 2. next week will be extracting another 2 more. Ohdear, it reminded me that im gona miss out my friend's bday celebration. sheesh! 

The picture up there is after my wisdom tooth extraction. Haven really swell that bad yet. 

I had LA for the extraction, oral surgeon says that my wisdom tooth extraction is a complex one as its very deep inside, he mentioned about breaking my bone to extract the tooth out. i can hear my heart skip abit.It cost me 1.8k for just 1 side, but its been covered by medisave.  

When you hear people said that they did their wisdom tooth extraction like its no big deal, i felt the same way at first. i dun wana noe much about it when there is lots of blood involved, i just want it done and over with. The surgeon gave me LA and he did mention that i will hear all the drilling and pulling. I can feel the anxiety when i hear the drilling. MYGOD! i jus wondered why have i agreed t go thru such thing. i kept telling myself to breathe slowly, in and out in and out. The drilling sound makes me scared and i was feeling so cold inside. I cant believe that i was trembling inside. My surgeon still can joke with me when im  at the anxiety stage! i tried to laugh abit. 

The soothing music in the room does help abit. The moment i hear the drilling sound again, i try to distract myself by thinking something else,singing song in my head and pretend that its a small and minor procedure just to make myself relax and less anxious about it. 

For a moment, i felt like i was going for a really major operation to the hospital where u have your parents tearing and you telling your love ones that its okay etc etc, just for that instant. i imagine alot actually. I will be going thru that, but not so soon. For the tearing part, maybe not. i hope i dun tear when i go for the surgery. im a strong and brave girl. ;)

And so,becuz i imagined alot. i thought about someone too. But too bad that person is not here with me. Not bad, i brave thru it alone. Anw the operation that im heading only cost about 5-8k? if its A class ward. Why in the world did i say 20k?! ohh. maybe cuz i included the braces and wisdom tooth extraction. 5k+3.6+4K=12.6k

next week going t see my surgeon for the other 2side of extraction and STO. :( dun like. 

toodles now.

Are you a winner or loser(whiner)

i think i overdose on vit c. i had diahorrea. Shouldnt have taken too much citric fruits. nonetheless, just wana blog this. :)

• Determination- This is very necessary. One must decide that he or she will come first and beat the others. This will trigger the spark to be a winner.
• Motivation- One must be motivated. One must feel that one should be a winner. To succeed and not be a loser can make a person reach his or set goals.
• Will Power- One must have will power. One must be able to withstand all kinds of hardships and hurdles to be a winner.
• Confidence- This is very important. A weak personality can never be a winner. Only a person who knows that he or she is worth a lot and has the necessary ability to win can succeed in the respective venture on hand.
• Self-esteem- One need to have a positive self-esteem. He or she must know one’s worth and feel good about oneself. Underestimating or over-estimating one’s abilities will not help to be a winner.
• Practice- If one is an athelete, then one must practice daily and make an all out effort to be perfect in one’s workout. Even in work matters, to prepare ahead and perfect one’s skills can help in being much ahead of others.
• Alertness- One must be physically and mentally alert. Sharpness of mind and action can be asset to succeed over others.
• Positive Mind- One must feel very positive about a given situation. One must feel one will be the winner in a given situation. Negativity can pull one down.
• Strategy- One must adopt a strategy to win. Carrying out a task in a haphazard way will not be good. One must plan out things in a systematic way.
• Acquiring necessary skills- One must be well versed in their respective work. Acquiring necessary skills are essential to make a success of the task on hand.

Wow. Amazingly ive been blogging for 6years now.

Not bad Merina. :)

the korean way-y koreans strive for beauty

THE KOREAN WAY

by Julia Yoo

“Thank goodness you have ssang-ku-pool. Your parents saved a lot of money,” said a close family friend when I was five years old. Ssang-ku-pul is the line above the eyelid, which most every Caucasian has but is rare among Northeast Asians. According to Sandy Cobrin, only 25% of Koreans are born with the double eye-lid crease, and she describes eye-lid surgery as “stitching a permanent crease into the eye-lid.” After observing the Korean trends and Korean pop culture idols for many years from a Korean-American perspective, I think I have figured out the meaning of Korean beauty. It is a very complicated and profound one. Beauty means having big eyes, a pale complexion, a sharp and pointed nose, a taller height, and a small chin and mouth. Essentially, South Korean beauty meant looking as “white” or Caucasian as possible.
I never quite understood how having lines above my eyelids saved my parents money until the summer of 1998 when I visited Korea. I knew that the lines above my eyes supposedly made them appear larger than other “Asian eyes,” but I did not see the financial connection until I saw my aunt in Korea whom I hadn’t seen for years. She just had eyelid surgery a year before, and I noticed how the lines above her eyes opened them up so that they appeared a bit rounder. She was beaming as she was telling me how she got a discount on the surgery, paying only $700 because she knew the surgeon. Then she was telling my sister, who wasn’t blessed with ssang-ku-pul like me, to get the surgery through the surgeon she knew. She was going on about how the majority of the female Korean population gets this eyelid surgery and how lucky she was to have
connections. I felt fortunate; I had saved seven hundred dollars. But instead of yelling this aloud, I remained silent. For the first time in my life, I felt a bit ashamed of my race.
The moment I stepped out into the city from my aunt’s apartment, I noticed cosmetic surgery clinics everywhere, along with billboards featuring Korean women who had Western characteristics. Nowhere could I spot a single ad containing a model with small eyes, a round face, and a small nose. None of them looked like the familiar Korean faces I remembered from my previous visits to Korea. A little later, I saw a girl walking out of one of the clinics with a funny-looking face mask and huge sunglasses. My aunt said the mask was to protect her new nose, and the sunglasses were to protect her newly cut out eyelids. I just sighed. Here I was in my family’s native country for the first time in years, yearning to experience the essence of Korea, and I found myself bombarded with McDonald’s, Nike and those Korean-wannabe-white faces.
According to an online site, Medscape, “South Korea has the highest ratio of cosmetic surgeons to citizens worldwide.” It has become so common that girls will get eyelid surgery as high school graduation presents. I still did not understand. Unsurprisingly, a year after that particular visit to Korea, both my teenaged cousins had gotten eyelid surgeries just in time for their sweet-sixteenth birthdays. The plague of plastics had hit my own family! This just made the wonder grow deeper: What about plastic surgery made so many Koreans fall so madly in love with it?
Plastic surgery has some kind of magical appeal to them—the promise of beauty. In this mystical and arduous quest for good looks, women are often convinced that suffering and sacrificing is necessary and worthy in order to bear the fruits of beauty. And this suffering is not for nothing. With good looks, the Korean society believes that beauty leads to attracting a better-looking partner, which leads to a better lifestyle and better-looking children. Oh, and of course, better looks equals better chances for competitive jobs, especially in the business field. Essentially, they believe that physical beauty equals happiness.
And in Korea, we impossibly apply the same standards for beauty as the Western world does. A woman should be tall, thin, with a milky complexion, chiseled facial features, long legs, nice big eyes, and the perfectly-angled nose. Ann Shin’s film, “Western Eyes” thoroughly and accurately captures the essence of the struggle for Asian-American women striving for Western beauty. The protagonists resort to cosmetic surgery in search of beauty and acceptance, believing that their appearance, especially their eyes, will alter the way others perceive them. The immigrant women believe cosmetic surgery is the key to their assimilation in a predominantly white town. However, the Asian immigrants in the movie are different from the women in Korea, such as my aunt, who do not live around white people, yet experience similar internal dilemmas with their appearances. So if environment is not the primary cause of this drive to look “whiter,” then what is?
The next closest thing to living around white people is seeing them all over TV, billboards, and magazines. With globalization alive and well in South Korea, Western pop culture has mushroomed into every corner of the country. Lacoste, Estee Lauder, Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel are only a few of the heavily sought-out Western brands. The Koreans exchange their advanced electronic devices through companies such as LG, Samsung, Hyundai, and Kia in return for Western clothing, cosmetics, and pop idols such as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. However, Koreans do not just admire these Western idols. They not only want to purchase their albums and clothes, but they also want to look like them. Perhaps this explains why the majority of Korean celebrities have gone under the knife at least once. For instance, Korean pop star Boa Kwon, who now rules the female pop world in all of Northeast Asia (Japan, China, and Korea), got eyelid surgery and her nose heightened. So, just as Britney Spears wooed little American girls to dress in plaid mini skirts and midriff bearing shirts, Boa has inspired and assured many Korean girls that cosmetic surgery is the normal and “cool” thing to do.
This rush for Western beauty has not only plagued South Korea, but is seeping into other parts of Asia, such as Japan and China. Korean pop culture is dominating Asia today with its soap opera series, movies, cosmetics, and technology. In 2004, after the hit TV show “Dae-jang-geum,” many Japanese and Taiwanese women flocked to South Korean cosmetic clinics asking to look like the hit’s main character, Young-Hae Lee, who is known for her big round eyes, small chin, and high nose. Newsweek describes the westernization of beauty standards: “Eastern and Western tastes have been cross-pollinating with a vengeance…The zaftig Indian goddesses and the heart-shaped face of the Chinese beauty are yielding to round eyes, oblong faces and lean figures.” But perhaps this surge for Western beauty is just an ephemeral trend, like skinny-legged jeans.
Much evidence indicates that this beauty ideal is not a trend, but a very real standard that is growing deeper into Korean society. Appearance is starting to play a bigger role in the workplace, to the extent that men are starting to resort to cosmetic surgery also. For instance, my 29 year old male cousin, who is slim and over six feet tall, gets significantly more job offers than his best male friend, who is shorter and heavier, even though both of them graduated from the same prestigious college, Seoul National University, and had the same GPA and credentials. Also, ABC news reports that cosmetic surgery clinics in Korea are getting significantly higher rates of male patients, and in some areas, about a third of the clients are males. The most popular surgeries among these men are almost identical to those for women—eyelid and nose jobs. In other words, this shows that the standards for beauty not only apply to women, but also to men. According to a Men’s Health Research, “86 percent of South Korean men between age 25 and 37 believe their competitiveness for jobs would be increased by having a good appearance and healthy body,” and over half the South Korean male population are dissatisfied with their appearance. Also, it is not a coincidence that all the Miss Universe contestants in the past two decades look so westernized to the point that it is hard to distinguish which contestants are Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic, and African. Therefore, the continuing high rates of cosmetic surgeries, and the growing number of Korean celebrities who look almost “white” as a result of these procedures, indicate the extent to which Western beauty standards have been ingrained into South Korea.
Perhaps the quest for western beauty is political as well as cultural. Going back to the Imperialist era in the 1800’s, the notion of white supremacy is still alive in our minds since Western nations, such as the United States, are still the most powerful and wealthiest. Perhaps even the notions of “walking, talking, and looking” like the white race still exist to the subtlest extents. For instance, many countries around the world, including South Korea, are required to speak English, the language of the world power—the United States—as their second language. As a result, most South Korean students are reasonably fluent in English by the time they reach high school.
Perhaps the obsession with beauty is due to the fact that human nature always strives for what is thought to be better. So Koreans associate beauty with people of countries that are wealthier than they are, and as a result strive to be more like them. For instance, some less wealthy Southeast Asian nations strive for Northeast Asian beauty, such as a lighter complexion and taller figures. Then the Northeast Asians strive to be like the even wealthier nations who are even lighter and taller than they are. And then within the wealthy western nations, the southern Europeans strive to be like the Germans and Western Europeans who are the tallest and wealthiest. In essence, this quest for beauty is no different than the quest for any other greed in life, such as money and fame. There is always someone more beautiful, richer, taller, and smarter. We always want what we can’t have. Many women see the impossibly thin supermodels with large breasts and a perfectly chiseled face, and all secretly admire them. We cannot help but wonder about people and places that we will never be or see. And this is why we will never see an average five foot three woman of 140 pounds walking the fashion runways in Versace. Our elusive journey toward this complete perfection that we can never achieve begins.
Or perhaps this standard of beauty comes from the human tendency to conform. We tend to simplify notions in life into black or white, good or evil, happy or sad, beautiful or ugly. And as globalization and westernization seeped into Northeast Asia, so did its notions of beauty. Because Paris and New York are the centers of fashion, the Koreans may have started to look toward them to set the standards of physical beauty as well. As a result, the Koreans wanted to bridge the gap between their physical appearances and that of the whites to the extent that they have pursued plastic surgery.
The solution to this plague is starting with the transformation of one individual at a time in South Korea. The fact that nearly half the population is somehow displeased with their appearance and willing to undergo cosmetic surgery shows that something is culturally wrong here. But before these individuals can change, the change needs to begin with the role models in Korea, the celebrities and other media figures. Essentially, the face of Korean media needs to change. They need to stop sending the message that beauty means Nicole Kidman and Britney Spears, and instead show that true Asian characteristics are beautiful too. They need to realize that smaller eyes, rounder faces, and flatter noses can be beautiful. By continuing to have eyelid surgeries and nose jobs, the Koreans are rejecting their natural Asian beauties and perpetuating the notion that western features are more beautiful.

NOTE:

The texts cited in this essay are: Burt Herman, “S. Korea Sees Boom in Male Plastic Surgery,” in ABC News Health, 2006; Sandy Cobrin, “Asian-Americans Criticize Eyelid Surgery Craze,” in Women’s E-news, 2004. Fred Guterl and Michael Hastings, “The Global Makeover,” in Newsweek, 2003; Medscape Today, “Cosmetic Surgery Past, Present, and Future,” 2006; Ann Shin, “Western Eyes,” 2000.

eat less, exercise more

1 day down, 6 more to go.

Pictures and videos. :)

Shipwreak at tulamben.

Kuta's beach and restaurant

BAli
So the not so long awaiting time has come. pictures and videos. :)

I would really say, i am really fortunate to be where i am right now. Who really gets to go overseas every year and doing all the sports, learning whatever you want. Having the freedom you want. This do come easy for me. But of cuz things cannot be taken for granted. Ive to start working doubly,triply hard and making the best of myself as i can to repay my parents back. They deserve the best as well. Without them, there wont be me today.

so overall, the same words. JIAYOU!

Be it whether ive to work it alone, its a challenge without someone to share my thoughts with.

But at least i noe where to put my thoughts at.

So thanks to blogger.

:)

Again, ive to park all my many years of posts,pictures and videos somewhere safe. So i pray that blogger will remain alive forever and ever and ever. But

I still like having my precious things tangible. ;) so yeaaaa.

wondering

Im thinking whether i should let more people see my many years old of my blog. Hmm. Should i or should i not. People who view this are people who happen to chance upon my blog.. so toodles to those lucky ones. haha! :)

nothing is better den singapore(home). :)

IM BACK! :D

SPLENDID!

Nothing is still better den HOME SWEET HOME. :)

I came back with my hair so dry!!! :( devastated. Gonna mask and moisturize excessively.

So yea. i tot i lost my phone in Bali, but i realised that i actually put it in another compartment in my haversack bag. keke. And my ipod nano. in my side pocket of the bag.And my mosquito repellant in another. GEE! THANK GOD! i only lost my mosquito repellent and guess wad, my ipod came out of my bag but apparently it was hanging somewhere on my bag when it arrived to SG! so i should really thank god! It was lucky, really! i wasnt complacent or anything, sometimes things just slip out of my mind. Its not that im lazy or i din care, sometimes it really slip out of my mind. So i would really appreciate people to remember and remind me. REALLY. :)

So we got back and headed to the SEAFOOD PARADISE to eat seafood. IM FREAKING FULL NOW. Exercise tmr! JIAYOU! i wana be skinnyyyyy

4th dy in bali,kuta

Today was the last day of diving, sammy went thru the skills again, but this is done under the sea water at nusa daisa. the water there is alot more unclear then tulamben. i managed to feed fishes from my hand! :) fun fun! Diving couldnt be more fun den anything else. Diving just kills all the mood for other water sports underwater. Being able to breathe under water and seeing fishes, eels, star fish? stingray-mini, sea cucumber.:) awesome dive at bali. i'll always rmb the dive. Tmr gona go for hair mask and spa maybe? And ouh, after the dive, erica and i drop off at legian t do some shoppin. FUNFUN!she's nice! she will be heading to singapore soon. Hopefully i can bring her around. :) Gona update soon. And once again, watching endless FTV. :D i think im addicted t FTV. Their channel just doesnt have any commercial breaks. Its just endless fashion shows seriously. And all the models are SKINNY! okay. i wana be skinny with shape of cuz. skinny but not too skinny. :) im trying, but i admit, not very hard. Now i'll do my best t lose weight. I jus wana wear their clothes. so awesome!

scuba diving

Scuba diving, no doubt its a dangerous sport but with safety precaution, it can be spectacular.

3rd day at bali

As usual,diving was awesome!

i'll put up some pictures and video once i'm back to SG. :) At a start, it was alittle scary cuz its pretty a new environment and we have to quickly adapt to the sea. we went to the shore of tulamben. Never regret to take up diving here. i saw a school of fish. WOW. that was the best experience ever. i'll never forget that. What i dun really like is the shore, its full of stones,big and small and its pretty hard to walk on it. i almost fall.And i dun like the part here u have to put and take the fins on and off in the sea, facing the shore. it was pretty uneasy for me for 2 dives. hopefully tmr will be better. :)

And i also saw the shipwreak,corals and eels! Many many eels in the sand. Not sure if sammy has taken pictures of it. Its awesome. i wonder my sis and bro managed to see it.

Tmr feeding the fishes. :) But no $ for underwater cam. sheesh. But it was good. And as we head back t our hotel, its a pretty long journey, 2.5hrs. Gotta head to Lugiah for shopping. theres alot of shopping there. i saw my basket bag there. binikis,many surf shops and resturants and bars and disco! :D Haven gone to the beach to take a peek yet . :(

And again, watching endless FTV. :) its inspiring to see all the models so slim and skinny. motivating. :D

Alrite. Tts it for now.

F. is an obsession :)

adios amigo( spainish)

Just arrived at Ashton,kuta,bali

BALI BABY!

okay, so it took about 2.5hrs to get to Bali. difference between bali and hawaii? bali more angmohs, hawaii more japanese! So basically, there are alot of water sports here and i can only play it by making friends with other people. Im excited tho! hehe! Surfer boys, wait up! haha. i really hope my mom can just throw me at the beach and she does her own thing well i do mine. :D That is heaven to me. The sports, the beach, the activities and some friendly people to play with. :D Gotta start planning what to do tmr! mom is asleep soundly. Yes. like a baby. so sound. :) Thanks for the surgery that she went. Oh. We ate balinese nasi goreng and nasi smth, it was GOOD. Pictures up when im back. :) Gona go swimming early in the morning at our Ashton hotel. ;) HAVE TO SWIM! i can die without exercising. fabby is not sexy. fat will never be the new skinny for me. So adios folks. update tmr. :)

toodles.

:)

Bonjour!

Hyoyeon is my favourite! haha! From SNSD! im not korean craze. i just simply love her personality. :)

Gona go excess running, dancing,swimming this holiday. JIAYOU! DUN LAZE AND SLACK!

motivating MTV.

And ouh, this MTV is awesome! its damn motivating. :) Time to get back on my losing weight regime tho my boobs will be smaller. ohwell. i rather lose the boobs den having a fat body!. its really really really really hard to lose when u're alone. No choice, have to continue losing. Anyone care to lose weight with me? LET ME NOE! i'll be more den happy. :)

Im FAT! seeing my sister is like seeing me. omg. MUST LOSE WEIGHT MERINA!

its good to think

ive been watching this korean show on Youtube.com called hot blood. its a training reality show where 2pm,2am becomes stonger and tougher inside out.

This episode is about them doing some self-reflection on their life when they die. I think all of us should do self-reflection everyday. we all should work very hard and accomplish all the things that we want, even if its the impossible dream.

We should all work hard and strive hard. After watching this show it reminds me alot on all the sports activities and camps where team bonding and friendship is form. :') i miss that, i really do. i want to join back a sport CCA again. That is if i got into SIM uni.

:)

Prolly gona further my studies on nursing degree and den take business or marketing diploma. Hopefully i can get myself a job either at mom's office or some MNC company. And continue on a hobby after work. :) What have i accomplish?other den doing well for my studies, i guess i cant accomplish anything cuz ive no $

Frustrated

Bonjour!

losing weight is so tough but putting on weight is like ABC. it just took me a few days for the weight t get back up. Je suis triste(Im sad). :( im 2kg fatter now. so angry with myself for not having that disciplined t stop impulsive eating! i need to stop that and i need to push myself to exercise more and eat less. i really do. Today wanted to wake up early to run but i laze around lying on my bed again. sigh. Im useless. But at least i did the laundry and cleaning up my room. its been weeks i last clean up my room.

Im frustrated over my expenditure!!! im going bali and europe soon and i can just spend so carefreely. i seem to have a really carefree mood like everything does not bother me at all. Actually it does. Everyday does bother me that to the extent, i decided not to bother cuz if i do,i'll get even more frustrated that WHY THINGS AINT GOING WHAT I WANT! yea. i guess people do get frustrated when things do not go as its supposed to. But ohwell. just have to pick urself up again from where you fall and NEVER GIVE UP and keep going and tell urself not to make the mistake again.

Even seem i got my allowance from the hospital, it seems like im going poorer and poorer. At least when i do not have allowance, i get to save up all the $. But from the savings i had, its depleting. As you start reaching adulthood, there are bills to pay, insurance coverage, maintenance. Sigh. sometimes i just wondered why am i not a guy. oh. no. better not be a guy cuz its even more stressful. Tho you dun need maintenance for urself but you got to pay for ur gf's everything,i mean mostly!haha. Being a guy is not easy either and being a girl is neither easy too. ohwell. INDEED,YOU CANT HAVE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS,that applies t some. hah.

Work starting soon and im pretty scared actually, and i think i sort of decided not to stay in nursing else i can just remain to be single and prolly convert myself to be a nun in future. Every family wants the best for their kid. Sigh. im gona be an adult soon in like 8more months! how should i celebrate my bday when i got barely much savings now. :( Should i call ALL THE FRIENDS SINCE PRI SCH TIL NOW or shld i just call the closest people and up my budget since they're the ones that are der all the time while friends are just people who helped you along the way. hmmm. how how! having it at chalet? too cliche. yacht?too ex. club? not everyone of my friend likes it. gawd. HEADACHE.

Heading to bali next monday! haven prepare yet

Heading to my dad's friend's wedding at intercontinental in afew mins time. i really dun feel like going! IM LIKE GETTING FATTER! :( i read over the internet that the media are tryin to promote curvy girls now. Big is sexy,like my size. hurhur! But nahhh.cannot get influence but it and give up losing weight. The idea is to feel good about urself! But i am soooooooooooooo not right now. i miss running competitively. Why cant sports industry pay employees higher wages?! Sigh.

C'est tout gens (thats all folks).

Watching gossip girls on my android phone. :)

my hands are aging. i can see wrinkle. O.M.G! (very bimbotic i noe) omg! i must soak it in milk and den put dons of moisturers and sleep with gloves on. omg!! getting old, die die!

Anw, last paper of my entire sch day is just few hrs from now! im serious! And off for my attachments! 18weeks which is 4months! 4deadly months! :( am i gona be a nurse forever? :( shift work is tiresome. i wana work at raffles city in one of those office tho. it seems pretty awesome actually seeing all the working people out for lunch at a specific timing. it jus felt like ur in sch and time for recess. And everyday same place,same time and seeing same people. :) new bond is form. :) that will be called my working school now.

neway, im gona head to bali in like a wk's time and den 2/3wks break and off to Europe with family and cousins. awesome. mom intended to bring me to japan during Dec. but sadly, i gt attachments. i miss sch, i mean secondary school. i dun seem to have any vivid memory of fun days in polytechnic. it seems miserable for me. My classmates are all weird people. Cuz they came from all different backgrounds. Will working life be the same as polytechnics? or it'll be like secondary school when you meet nice and fun people?which will it be common or uncommon. im quite worried about the working world tho. All the jobs that i did was temporary. Now this coming job will be for abt 2yrs! will the people be nice and family-like? or bitches eat bitches? Gee. im scared!

nom nom! pas peur! (nono, not scared!)Im brave! Im brave!

aight. off to studying. :) Tous les meilleurs merina!. (all the best merina!)

You have left, and gone forever..

body shape

Apparently, people are promoting medium size woman and the opposite sex prefer woman with some meat. as you can see, 59% of man prefer a size 12 ,which is US size 8 but size 8 to size 12 looks the same jus the boobs that is looking bigger thats all. prolly jus alittle more meaty. ohgee. Since the media is slowly progressing to medium size females. i think i shldnt try so hard to lose weight. My size is perfect! hmm. nvm. mayb try t lose alittle more. :) my shorts is like tight! :(

YOG at Catholic high school

Volunteered my time for the YOG 2010 at catholic high school for gymnastics training as paramedic assistant. :) Definitely gona be a lifetime experience not just singapore, but for me as well. :)

ENJOYED myself too! :)

We are part the Purple army that play a big role in making this goes smoothly for singapore. ;)

FAMILY DAY OUT

ENJOYED MYSELF AND WE ALL DID AT UNIVERSAL STUDIO!

it was nice to hav a family day out! apparently, universal studio wasnt a disappointment. it was fun! especially the REVENGE OF THE MUMMY! the ride was awesome! and my sister bought the photo us that were captured on the ride. GOSH! i look like a pig screaming for help!hahaha. damn cartoon. ohwell. we spent the whole day rushing thru all the rides and shows. we did managed t finish most of it. except i din get to take pictures with cats in the boots and my magadasar! :'( boohoo! oh ouh. after the rides and shows. we change out and went to CHILLIS t have our dinner. it the was superb! i ordered the mushroom fujatis. i think i spelled wrongly but its der. haha! it tasted GOOOOOODDDDD! THUMBS UP THUMBS UP! haha. :) and the dessert was HEAVENLYYY! the choco fondue flow out of the sponge cake and the apple caramel was YUMMYY!!

I LOVE TODAY! :)

ENJOY ENJOYED!

pondering

I feel so elated that i made myself volunteer for the YOG. Though i was alittle upset that i was deployed to Catholic high for the gymnasticss training for the straight 8-3pm shirt for like 5days! ive the most hours than the rest. But ohwell. Finally i just got over it cuz being there is something i feel that i learnt alot from the athletes just by watching them train every single day. You can tell how much these players want to do well and win the competition. Some just think that they are good enuff but some just keep on practicing and practicing and practicing! like the china gymnas. She is the only one without a Coach while everyone else has at least 1. Russia has 2! China is the only country that just kept going without a coach. Very disiplined and very grateful when the coach pitpoint her. i think its very true that culture does make a difference.

People in SG would rather pursue and further their studies for more $$ den to pursue something that we all know Athletes in SG do not get as much privilege than other countries. And people in SG can afford to further their studies and the well-being is alot better. China are really hard-working due to their high populated country. Sometimes we cannot blame them for using cunning ways to earn $. sometimes it really forced them to go to that extend to do it. But still, we cannot pity them cuz we're gona be the ones to find ourselves some trouble.

Everyday i see the athletes train so hard, coaches kept pushing and pushing over their limits to help them achieve even higher and higher. To a large extend, strict teachers produce great students. Its tough being a coach, its tough being an athlete.

And i see those gymnas jumpin and spliting their legs etc, i have the urge to try it myself too. haha! Sometimes i do blame my parents for not pushing me hard enough. Cuz as kids, its rare to know what we really want. Only adults have to keep pushing them over their limit.

ohwell. Tmr last day for me! its so fast! i really dun wana go tho cuz i noe i will definitely miss those hard working athletes. Gee!

anw! JIAYOU TO ME! :D

HAPPYDAY!

PISSED!

SHOCKED

JOYFUL!

NERDY SAD

BORED!

jus bored, so uploaded those pictures. ohwell. haha.

And ouh. today mummy and i did a bonding session tgt! dying hair session! :) i helped mummy t dye hair for her in the toilet. :) And ouh, had a grocery shopping day too! :) i bought my liese hair dye(masmallow brown)

its really easy to use and the colour is awesome! i highly recommand those who wants t dye their hair can use this. its only 19.90$ alot cheaper den dying ur hair in a local salon i guess?

Enjoyed the mummy and daughter thang today. :)

AND BTW!

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

And Youth olympics Games starting soon from 14-28August. i think every athlete should feel elated though its jus Youth olympics and not the actual one. Afterall, be it whether its youth or the actual olympics, those athletes that are competing in those competitions worked hard for where they are and should be respected. As an ex-athlete, im really proud that YOG is held in Singapore and im really elated that i get to be the paramedic assistant for the event as well. i cant wait for the event to commence. :)

its nt about being there, but its about how you get there

People tear when they become successful cuz they noe that all the struggle, all the hard work they put in, day and nite, had paid off.

its true that its not about the triumph but the struggle.

awesome cheering of flash in nyp

Everyday must be happy.

Yes. i must learn to be HAPPYHAPPY!

Today had our YOG celebration. it was prefectly awesome!

the people i met and see are really so motivating and absolute fun! The atmosphere was AMAZING! AWESOME!

People just love fun and hyper people dun they?

FUN AND GREAT EXPERIENCE TODAY!

Never regret being part of the NYP flashmobs for the YOG cheering of the flame. AWESOME!SOOOO SOOO AWESOME!

MUST BE EVERYDAY HAPPY! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

A word to describe myself.

DISAPPOINTMENT

questionable

i dun seem to understand why there are arrogant people living around. Do they have to go to that extent to Literally make use of people and then dump them when they're of no use or they dun listen to you completely? WTF. These people need to have a hard hard fucking hard lesson to learn that they're aint that great. Nastiest people i ever seen! i'll definitely condemn such people when i get to see them again. Dun forget, no matter how good you are, there will be people above that are better and way nicer then those arrogant people! DAMN IT. Must teach those arrogant people a fucking hard lesson!

Enuff of that shit.

Few days back i was lost in direction again, literally. i was wondering what am i fighting for times. i was questioning my actions and goals. But something made me realize why i have fight hard now. Not for myself. But for those evil around. i wana be FREAKING SUCCESSFUL so that i can teach evil people a hard lesson! i wana be freaking successful so that people around me have something to feel proud of, just like how proud am i to have a brother whose so smart and nicest personality ever. arrogant people need to learn to be humble! They need good people to teach them a lesson.

Now i know what i want. The world needs somebody to be there to help. I WANA be part of it! JIAYOU JIAYOU!. dun give up! and im 2kg away from my target weight. JIAYOU! dun give up! im halfway being tempted from all the fried food and stuff. EW! i hate fried food! i love VEGETS and FRUITS! i hate carbo! i need that 2kg! JIAYOU! you lost 3kg! 2more to go! you can man merina! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. JUS FILTER OFF THINGS THAT PULL U AWAY FROM UR GOAL. JIAYOU JIAYOU! :) AND GOTTA FIGHT HARD TO BE THE BEST OF THE BEST! JUST FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!

nice friend in sch. :)

some people are mean, while some are nice, caring and motherly. :x. opps. haha! of cuz she's not the mean one. nicest friend i found in sch. :D great that i met her.

"All you have to do is to believe, believe that you can, believe in yourself. believe in your capabilities. Trust yourself even other people dun, you just got to trust yourself! "

goal oh goal

Some people willing to work very hard so they can enjoy the fruit of their labor and smile and feel the sense of achievement and fulfillment that money cannot buy, that temptations can never beat. When you work hard and strive for your goal to reach it. People who support you are the ones whom god has send to help, these people who support you are called your friends. People who sabotage you are just passer-bys to get you down and move you further away from your goal. Its never easy to stick to your goal. But, there are some people would rather not work hard and enjoy the time now. These people will never be able to feel the sense of achievement, pride,happiness, confidence and respect from the people around. It feels good when you work hard cuz u noe that u do, you have a higher chance to be successful in the future.

Me? well, i have yet to decide about what i want to be successful in. There is just so many things i am interested in. Prolly i can focus in 1 and take all the rest as a hobby.

Everyday im learning about life, i feel that i might be too mature for my age. Gee. There are times you just wana have fun and do whatever your hearts tells you. Though you know its not right but u're just enjoying the time. When its time to enjoy, enjoy. When its time to be serious, be serious. Play and work cannot come together.

Gee. how how. there's so many things i wana do. i wana learn finance, i wana learn horse riding, i wana do great photoshoots, i wana earn loads and loads of $. So in future, i can travel all over the worldddd and experience every single corner of the universe that god created. And dive in the ocean and explore the underworld.

Seriously, no $ no go!

people says that im materialistic? thats the last thing on my mind. i dun go for LV etc. Even ah soh carrying LV, gee. degrade the good. Dunlike.

How can i earn more $? how? sighh. i wana work for my dream, not for $. so vex and frustrated. i dun mind working 28/7 to reach my goals when i decide on it. sometimes i do get frustrated when people are not willing to work hard. But there is nth much i can do cuz they have issues about themselves..

i dunno if i shld go for the horse riding lessons in woodlands. Cuz when i started working, the lessons gona be doubled. hmm. Prolly i can work there and ask for no pay but free lessons. Gee. i really really wana do horse riding. nvm. gona go for the first lesson and see it goes.

something to think about

Nothing comes off easy.

it reminded me that we should all fight hard for what we want.

And i also learn that friends are indeed very important. the people who you make friends with and hang around will somehow influences how you think. And thats where you got your family to remind you of your identity, values and morales.

This two sources of people are just so very important. Thats why we all got to choose our friends wisely.

Sometimes i tend to forget what i should be doing. But when the right people who has the same goal are there, it pushes you further and reminded you that hey, fight hard and dun give up okay!

why the hell am i slacking when i shouldnt be!

GEE! ive been using fb for more than i should. crap. Fb IS ADDICTIVE and its bad!. i nd a stop in this. its affecting me. MERINA BETTER STOP fb-ing. STOP! and study! JIAYOU! 1 last stretch to go. so many things to do. NYAA not done yet. crap! WTH AM I DOING?! yth am i wasting my time man! WAKE UP WAKE UP!

Does it pay to be nice?

Being too nice, u'll be taken for granted. Being too aggressive, you got no friends.being nice and balanced is the best option. Sometimes it really suck being too nice but than again, it sucks being like a bitch too when you realised that the person that u bitch to still treats u nice. gawd. that sort of feeling is makes you guilty,it does make you reflect whether are you being too nasty. But den again, you have to think and speak from what you mind tells you and not the heart. sometimes the only person who suffers is the nice person. Gee. i guess after coming to my course, i got to know so many understanding,caring and nice friends. Sometimes it really influences you to be that goodie good girl. i detest bitches, i really do. Especially those who are rude, disrespectful and proud. ew! its disgusting.

Today i told my friend about this gal who treated me like crap, i told her that she's actually kinda a nice person. And she reminded me of what she did to me since then. i actually forgot about the incident?!god! i can actually go and talk to her with a smile. that shows how forgiving i am.prolly cuz i decided to be her friend and accept who she is. be it whether she treats me nasty or not. But ohwell.. But after she reminded me of what she did to me. gawd, its disgust me. I can never forget the incident that happened to me in Year 1. it really tells alot. And i will never never forgive people who stabbed u up,down, left and right. treating u like they accept you for who u are. And all of the sudden, they came up with the most nasty crap on you. it really disgusts me. i cannot get how my classmates can talk about the pple that they hate so much. i cant. i think its just a waste of my time on such pple. im such a forgiving person, which i dunno it is a good thing or bad. The whole incident is repeating in my head again. i cant believe that after what everyone did to me, i still wana be kind and nice to them. gosh. that is something that i had to swallow since den and it really suck. MERINA! YOU GONA STAND UP FOR YOUSELF! its really hard when things din go well as it shld be. All ive to do is to tolerate. i think its better to tolerate den stand up for myself sometimes. Lucky god sent down this goodfriend to be with me in poly. There are nice pple but its really a tough choice to choose whether to want them to be your friend or not. This course has really taught me to grow.. people from varies colors and ages, the life that they lead. the perspective of how they view life. its really tough to work with some pple. And its even tougher to work with bitches. they just think so great of themselves. sometimes i really wonder when will my timebomb explode. it suck that sometimes you have t swallow what pple throw it to you cuz u noe that u need them. Gawd.i really dun want that to happen again. MERINA JIAYOU!

and my friend so cute,she says how cum i can get sick when she sees me like a warrior. lol. thanks uh.

ohwell. lengthy post!

i miss competitive sport cuz thats wer i can find ME. :(

i miss pple who are wiling to work hard

i miss pple who are motivated

i miss pple who preserver and fight til the end for what they want

i miss pple who deflect all the things that they do not want to hear

i miss being competitive

i dun like being so free.

i like being busy

i miss nice and caring friends who thinks about you

i miss telling people off

alrite. enuff of all these.

I JUST HAVE TO KEEP JIAYOU-ING!

JIAYOU JIAYOU ALL THE WAY!

JIAYOU! :)

Life will be meaningless without an aim

i think ive wasted enough time for now. Have been exploring my new phone for quite awhile to get a total hang about it and checking out how great the phone is. Time to get back on track. Gee. Have to score well for my presentation and my 3 papers! Since ive chiong-ed at the start, i think i shldnt be distracted again. There's simply just too many things to do. YOG flashmob? coca-cola/samsung motivators? My 2 holidays trip. And i haven even arrange for my bungy jump at Ticino, switerland. And my diving trip also haven plan yet. Gee. And i haven even think about my projects yet. I think its enuff of wasting time now. Pple are striving hard to achieve what they aim for and i am here wasting my time doing shits.

JIAYOU MERINA JIAYOU! Do what you want and just preserver and stick to it until you get what you want. JIAYOUUUUUU!!!

believe in yourself! study hard and play hard! And i must stick t the promise that i made to my bestfriend. GPA3.8 which i know i will not have a high chance to achieve but will do my very best! "BFF you better score well too!" :)

Progession of my teeth :)

SMILE. :)

Straight lower teeth?

Another shot of my smile. :)

Nice smile? hehe

We cannot deny that the World is superficial and judgemental. We cannot blame for the world to be this way because we can never influence the whole world regardless of how much we tell people not to be judgemental. This is human nature. Even i judge too. Tell me you dun, i would like to meet u. What we can only do is to change ourselves for the better. "if the mountain cannot come to mohd, mohd will go to the mountain"-Ghandi

its been awhile

Its been awhile since i long blogged cuz its been awhile since ive been thinking alot. So i think i shouldnt be neglecting on my many years old blog. haha. Suddenly i started to question myself again. Why do i wana work hard and what am i working hard for? Just to score well and see where i can go? hmm.yea. prolly. i'm still trying very very very hard to keep myself focus. Sometimes you just get yourself distracted when you do not think of your goals. So have to think of it all the time to keep on track. And i realised that i only have 3 papers this time. :) so i expect myself to do well for all 3 papers! yes! its not high expectation. its my aim, and i want to achieve! have to score well. wad im afraid of is my PRCP for the 2nd semester. 12wks man. no worries. i can survive,thats a definitely yes thing. Nothing can get me down! :) you know why? cuz im MERINA. :) and Merina will always be tough! yeayea! :)

JYJY!

and im still waiting for that person to come back to me. its been 3months plus already.why cant u just come back?

sch meetings

My friend damn awesome, she has already plan all out nicely for all our PROJECTS, not jus one but many. and oh, did i tell u that its so creepy cuz no matter which group member who went t draw lots for the ICA presentation, we all gotten as the first group? but well, ive broken the chain and i got what i asked for. The last group. LOL. And i literally jumped for joy. haha! while my whole class so very quiet. lol

And today wen to get my galaxy S phone. the swype is damn awesome. really. but im just too used to using two hands instead. And while i was climbin to my sis's bike, my leg touches the exhaust pipe and rubbed against it. OUCH! freaking painful. but my face was expressionless. i was like "wahlau,fuck. pain, jie, it looks like dirt on my leg rite. ha ha!" zzz. i cant believed i can still laugh. zzz. But it literally looks like fried skin,my skin was torn and black.zzz i think i need lots of VIT C and sunburnt. ohman. der goes my beautiful legs. :(

Wednesday got Nursing lab assessment. Gee.Gona hav to Ace that. it has the highest weightage among the rest of the modules and plus, i think ive screwed 2modules already. Now have t work hard to Ace this assessment and the rest of the presentation. JIAYOU! :)

Past and present

Sometimes i wonder whether issit all worth it. Going thru all the hassles to get my braces done and Jaw surgery in the future when i do not look that bad. I do ponder sometimes. Even before the Jaw surgery and braces, i dun look that bad, i dunhave any funtional problems or issues. im doing this cuz i just wanted to look better. Sigh. But ive already made this decision, a decision that will have a metal hinge in my Jaw for the rest of my life, to have to wear retainers for the rest of my life. i really wonder if ive made the correct decision. Sigh.

Grad nite

Was psycho-ed to go. Time really flies, last year of poly already. Gee! And im gona be an Adult in like a year time. I DUN WANA GROW UP! i still wana be playful and childish as ever! i realised im not as playful as before now, not as crazy and happy as before now. Gee! i need that back.

Sometimes we just forget who we are and what we should be doing. it takes conscious effort to keep on track.