im having a mixture of feelings now. sometimes i get so mad of why u decided to leave me, den the next moment. i shldnt be mad. sometimes i get sad, and the next moment i shldnt be.
Today someone used your cologne and came into my lecture hall, it distracted me from my lectures again. i really do miss you and you had to do this to me. i feel so angry on why you have to do this to me. Every single day i have to tell myself that i can do this, i can do this! i can just endure the pain and focus my energy to my studies. But somehow, i think the only thing i can do to make me feel better is to blog. i think blogging is already a part of me. To blog what my heart says. Tho sometimes the things i say contradicts to what i type. But whateva i type here are my true feelings. it comes from my heart. Gee.
At the meantime, i am planning to work in clarins during the weekends to spend my youth on them since i cant spend it with you. But ohwell, my friend who is 1 year younger den me is engaged to a doctor 10 yrs older. Gee. Prolly i'll marry to myself. i really dunno which direction i shld head. i wana do real estates in the future and i noe its gona be tough, some give up and some continue. i need the capital to start things off first but how? by saving my punny little savings? sighh. Or just stay on in nursing and be a sister which earns 5-6k 10yrs later? which im gona be like 31? i need 10k/mth! 10k! Even tho der is rumors about increasing pay for nurses, i think sooner or later, der will be an increment for every jobscope since singapore's standard of living is always going up. Shld i take the risk and switch my career to real estates which i noe nuts about but i FEEL that i am interested in? or shld i just stay on in nursing and head to AUSTRALIA or STATES to be a nurse? OR shld i stay on in nursing and study all e way to PHD be become DR NG? OR shld i take up marketing and den apply to be GM or director in a company? HOW??? :( i need directions. i am lost!!!!
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