months of effort gone down to drainn

"Only eat in MODERATION"

VEGETS,PROTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PRTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PRTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PROTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PROTEIN aND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

its always easy for temptation to get u and its always hard to control.

MODERATION!

easily satisfied

Hmm. even tho i still think that my 20th bday is a pathetic 1, however. Just that little click on FB and type HAPPY BDAY MERINA! really makes my day. thats how much it can make merina happy. :) Easily satisfied.

But ive to say its really sweet to see friends spamming my fb with happy bday wishes. If only all of them spam me with bday GIFTS, wouldnt that be even more AWESOME? hmm. 21st 21st! hei hei! ALRITEY. ive alr spent almost a week wasting my time, ive got like unfinished work t be done. no more for chillax session. its overrrr! BACK T WORK! FOCUS TIME NOW.

:)

"People can say all they want, but those who do not listen and do what they think is right

its RESPECTABLE"

hit the club

Ytd went t club, impromptu decision, celebrated with some friends and they're damn nice luh. Really made my day.Got in rebel for free and drunk shots like fuck. Friend paid like fuck. But ohwell, it was a nasty nite for him. He lost his bldy iphone luh. Gee. Den made friends with this 2 funny boys. ha ha.

But apparently some decided to ditch on my bday. DITCH ON MY BDAY MAN. fuck.

i duno what to say. so disappointing. hai. So party like hell ytd and reached home at 5, woke up at 730 t prepare t head t sch. apparently i wasnt wasted ytd. GOOD JOBB. :) and now im here blogging.

Ytd was a toast t my pathetic and sad 20th bday. nvm. i chose t let it be that way. thats soooo not gona happen for my freaking 21st!

And also, im damn disappointed and angry at the same time! my goal is t lose weight and by right i shld continue t lose or jus maintain my weight but recently i jus din have t discipline to control what i eat. i literally OVEREAT. thinking that oh, it wont kill, it wont kill. but apparently, it kills! shittt. now ive to go on an excessive low-carbo and liquid diet + excessive and tons of freaking exercise regime. IM SO DISAPPOINTED with my actions. CRAP! time to recover and control man merina. two days of social drinking. crazyyyyyy luh. i need t put a stop already. no more clubbing,or mayb no more drinking. :)

adios.

pathetic 20th bday. its okay. cuz thats wads ive intended for.

gona make my 21st a blast.thats what i will want to intend for.

Side-track from yesterday til today.

A word t describe

"SHIT"

billionaire live acoustic

SWEET! :)

Its not about the destination, its about the journey

For that split second, that very moment, you just feel so frustrated with life and think that why are other people so much more fortunate.

BUT

Look at the bright side, im going 20 soon, which i still have a long way to go..long way to create your own life.

so..carry on living and live life to the fullest!

I think im sick. :'(

i think im sick. ;'(

i kept wanting t sneeze, but i cant, its so itchy. :(

My throat seems to have phlegm. Thanks to my impulsive action of eating chilli paste like kaya paste in my bread! :'( i literally took a spoon filled and spread on my sandwich and eat it, more den once. Best thing, its not hot to me. Im the chilli queen. hah! But thanks to that, im sick now. :(

thinking

hmm. my bday is just 1 more week and im wondering whose gona celebrate my bday, and i wonder who will remembers my bday. Have you ever have a tot about who will rmb ur bday?its curious to have anonymous hp no. wishing u happy bday, its curious t have pple wishing u on fb, but who exactly? hmm. sometimes u just want that particular person t call or text u or even ask u out or give u gifts. Tho u verbalize and says that its jus the 20th bday, but deep inside, u will wonder tho. Gee. And i am wondering if that person will do all that. Sigh. ohwell. i hope that person does tho 99% chance i doubt he will...

Ohwell, anyway im working on my bday too. So i guess it doesnt matter. Morning 9am having some YOG talk, den 2-10pm working at Woodlands Clarins. Gee. Next day working at wisma morning shift. ohwell. And im gona have a pre-assessment this wed for C-badge. Pls pls hope that the assessors will say that im ready for the actual test. Pls pls!

OKAYY! Enuff of thinking, TIME TO RESEARCH FOR MY FYP!!!!!!!

ADIOS!

;)

COMPARE KIDS IN THE PAST AND NOW

:D

BOREDOM

I LOOK LIKE SHIT! BUT NVM! ITS ONLY FOR TEMPORARY! AND I THINK MY TOOTH HAS SHIFT!

Braces make me SWALLOW and Gabble all the food down and have huge craving for fatty food and supper and CARBO! shittt. time to draw back. i dun wana go back to the old FATTY me! im happy with the slim me nowwwww

Just now went for the RULES in ACTIONS at KNC. wow. i tot i was prepared and well-equipt. but the moment E. bomb us with scenarios, we were totally blank. Gee! need loads of reading up of "bible" now. C badge, just so you wait, im so coming to get U!

PHOTOSHOOTS! :D

(EDITED VERSION)

umpired

Wee! went to umpired Division 4 netball game and im pretty satisfied with the way i umpired. i tried my best already. But what matters most is that the players are happy and im happy. i think thats wads most impt! hmm. keeping my plan all checked. And my netball friend V. is damn nice! she bought me organiser sia! which cost 6.9$ zzz. she must be rich. she knew my organiser is more like mess-aniser.hah! so yea. and my friend sent me to the bus stop with her bike. SHIOK.

Overall, hopefully i can get badged! C BADGED! im coming to get you. And K. was tellin me to join Aciers for trg, every wed evening til 10pm. hmm. not so much of commitment tho. just 1 day of the wk. Shld be fine. But if thats e case, i cannot go club on WED! miannn.

And lastly, i did some photoshoots at Capella, managed to convince my photographer to shoot der. phew! Overall shoot was an enjoyable, fun and satisfying. im happy with the shoots tho. i even sacrifices my maxi dress for creative shots mannn. Cant wait for him to send me the photoshoots! :)

PISSED

ive been thinking alot lately, and everytime i do and i need someone t listen, there u are blog, always der for me ALL THE TIME. okay fine, since my sister insist to have just a brother den fine! i dun need a sister anyways. And she's always old enuff, why does she wana bother about who i went out with. And she bothers, she shld show more care and concern.Apparently, she dun bother. so why stalking? FUCK THE SHIT OFF!

and i know what i want, i know what i am doing. i just wana hang around and explore the world more. i dun wana just study and be ignorant of the world. its still not enuff. People do say this and that, but you just wana experience to see if its the truth. you will not believe until you try it do you. it all applies to every single person damn it! we're nt communicating and its my fault? someone gotta do smth about it but definitely not me! im so dead sure of what i am doing and i'll promise myself that i'm gona have alot richer and better life that she is! just so that she doesnt start burdening me! WHY DO I EVEN HAVE THAT SORT OF SISTER?! i think she's gona be a bad mom! urgh! pissed!

ponderingt

Hmm. i'm still pondering if i should get the floral top from topshop and the knitted dress. Ive tot of getting the tregging too. Gee. But its alittle too expensive. Knitted dress is already 119, floral top 69$ and the tregging is like 69$? And tats e charles and keith's heels. Damn SEX! i think its about 71$ or smth. Gee. Total up will be 328$?! Gee! :( i dun think i can get the clothes. Sigh. now that ive got an extra things to pay, my braces. 4.6K man. Each mth ive to pay for my insurance and my braces. Minus-ing off 50% of my allowance. If i were to buy, i left like 15% of my allowance and ive to use the previous mth's savings to pay for my necessity. sigh, ohwell, i guess i cannot afford buying Topshop clothes, its too expensive.I need to find another job. But my face like crap, Shit man. FACE OH FACE! FASTER HEALLLLL!!!i need you to earn $ for meeee!!!!!! my bank account is depleting like shit. i left like 50% to pay for my braces. some pple are so much fortunate than i am, can be so carefree, dun have to think about anything but ive to think abt $,man.. $ problem. always $. Guess i haven been thinking about it for awhile.

Photo-taking backdrop

i was brain stuck for a couple of days before i managed to come up with the concept of a city,YOUTHFUL AND COLOURFUL. however i dun think the design im able to do is that YET. anw its just the 1st draft. will do more improvement on it. The one which has colour background is taken from the internet and i just changed the background. dun think its good enuff.

Comment pple! do you think u'll wanna take photo with it?zzz

so pissed!

Things are starting to heat up more when i run thru the whole incident of my sis over and over again. Ytd wen out with my malay guyfriend. he's just my secondary school friend and he needed to talk about his probs with me and stuff. And so happened that my sis caught both of us coming home late on a bike. zzz. She actually hide behind the wall to see what we are up to. What sort of sister is that? a sister that do not trust her own sister. like WTH? Everyone says that she cares, but seriously, i think i see things alot more clearer than anybody does. the thing is that SHE DOES NOT TRUST ME! if she really cares, i can sense that. the care she gives is different. she's just the sort of person that distrust others and wants to find out more about wat the heck they are doing. she said that "ur boyfriends are getting from bad to worse and y are u even hanging out with a malay?" gee! i really feel for my malay friend. she also said"u'll be a burden to me in the future." cousin said:" oh, its just money issue afterall"

wth la. i'll be a burden? damn it! sees who is really burdening who. wen ur 12 yo husband dies, dun burden me,make sure u burden ur own kids but not me! i will never be a BURDEN to anyone! and afterall, if its due to money issue, freak man, i'm gona get an oldman to be my boyfriend, a sugardad and i'll be their mistress and makes sure that he gives me loads of $ to throw at my sis's face! damn it!

If my sis really care, she'll have the time to talk to me. But seriously, i dun think my cousin can really see the whole picture. she's just being distrusting. she dun trust me, fancy telling pple that "she's my sister" its such a great shame to be her sister. i wouldnt want a sister like her who do not trust my decision-making. DAMN! so freaking pissed!

i hope i dun have t attend her dumb stupid wedding.

And the best thing is taht she's making the mistake her own. she's with a 12yo man! y? becuz he's finacially stable and he treats her well and oh. of cuz he is financially well, he's afterall past the age of crisis already, ready for another marriage. zzz im only 19,going 20 man. i noe what i am doing! All she has to do is not sneak behind my butt and asking shit! if she really cares, she shld spend her stupid time on facebook, talking to me. i think that is truly caring. Else just FUCK IT. GET OFF MY LIFE! u're no longer a threat to me.

no worries, i'll make sure i'll do GOD DAMN WELL in life so that i will NOT BURDEN HER! prolly, NEVER! she better not burden me.

braces on!Gee

Gee, finally i got my braces on! But the orthodonist were saying that i have to take solid food for at least a week.Gee! i tried biting papaya and its so painful! i cant even bite the papaya properly. gee! Ytd tried eating sushi! but apparently, im more like chewing and swallowing it. And i think 1/4 of the rice of the sushi is either stuck or hidden at the back of my teeth. WAHLAOOO.

i have to gurgle to get the food out.

And my brother is really funny. he said" mei, wen you cme home, you have to bath and take out contact lenses, now you have to brush your braces.." zzz thanks luh. Not only tat. After bath still have to do skin care at nite. gee! tahts alot to manage you noe. Not bad, i can managed. :D

Later gona go clubbing with Elaine babe! WEEE. so long nv meet her up alreadyy.

Til den. :)

Absolutely glad!

Check that out. NYEC gona use the mascot i created for the next few years. :) indeed it is an opportunity for me. im really glad that i stayed on and finish what i have to. *pat myself on my back.

anw, im really proud that our project is in good progress. Absolutely detailed. but not sure 20mins is really enuff. *another pat on my back.

Anw i came up with the mascot write up to represent NYEC.- mascot write up

This Mascot is a polar bear. I chose polar bear is because polar bears suffer the most from the climate changes that we people created. It is due to all the pollutions from human activities and partly causing global warming. Though we suffer too, from the blazing sun. But polar bears have to suffer from the cause the most. Global warming threatens the polar bear by permanently damaging its Arctic habitat. We created more heat and causing the ice cap to melt. We are beginning to slowly destroying the home of other creatures. Therefore, using the polar bear as our mascot signifies the gambit to intensify climate change hysteria.

The mascot will be called Ice/Icy

The mascot will be made wearing just a shirt with the association logo. It’s to represent the association and allow the public to know that we are trying to save the Earth. It will also be a standing polar bear so it will look cuter and able to walk about. It should be standing tall, big and fat.

Keep it up Merina! keep fighting to see wer your potentials can really take you. :)JIAYOU!

TO YOU AND JUST YOU

What are you trying to pull off this time? i fb-ed you and obviously you have read the msg becuz u can still play FB games.

And you said you will reply to me for what i hv blogged. why when i blogged my extreme feelings for you, i cannot nth from you. no replies at all. what are you pulling off?

TELL ME!

before i go mental!