Sunday, March 28, 2010

thinking

Hello,
phew. finally i can graduate wit all my classmates. :) Lucky i fought the battle hard against people who says it cant be done. its true that people only listens to what they want to listen. no one ever appealed successfully and im glad that my mentor is siding and helping me all the way though she's very naggy and blame people for the wrong reasons, overall, she is kindhearted and i know she cares. :) im glad that my appeal is successful :) i used to have people telling me that it cant be done and they have tried doing it but no one really bothered about the appeal and me being persistent with my decision and stubbornness, i din really bothered about what others who do not support me have to say at all. At least ive tried it myself and i wana try it with my own capabilities and not yours. Though for you, u might say the aircon in room A is freezing but for me, it may not be cuz i will not get chilled easily. situations varies from person to person. its different. Though i may be very stubborn but i have my reasons. though you might say that love hurts, dun ever get into a r/s and love some1 deeply, u'll get hurt, you better listen. yes, i listen and if i were to do it, its me whose gona experience all the pain and hurt. i cant cuz what people says dun do it and i dun do it. i wana feel it too.
Hope those around me understands, i do things without regret. life is to experience and the best thing is that im fortunate to be healthy and strong. Even if im leave this world, i will not have any regrets. :)
But i just dun get why the people i love always disappoint me greatly.i treated them with all my heart and i always end up getting hurt over and over again. i gave my heart to my bestfriend in primary school and she hurt me so badly. i gave my heart to my polyfriend and she also hurt me so badly. i wanted to be great friends with her and i know i can be her bestie bestfriend in poly but den again, she pushed me away, she made me teared so badly. And now, everytime i see her, i dunno if i should hate her or try to make things better which i think there isnt any progress. i kept trying back den but things dun seem to be better. i miss her, i really do but i dun think things will ever change again. we're just classmates and that is that. tho sometimes i feel like bringing you down cuz u hurt me so much. I guess i dun think i'll be able to forget those who hurt me. including my first crush or love or wateva.

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