Friday, August 17, 2007

thinking...


:O

brudder's masterPIECE!=D
felt like blogging again.been counting for my prelims and O's levels, i kept thinking how much time is needed for revision and how much time i had studied,how much time had passed,how much time i slept and how much time i interacted with my friends lately.i realised that i left little time for my revision to O's.people take a few months to years to prepare for their o's,they take consistency in their work.but for me? i've yet to start,knowing i left with few more weeks to my major exams,it really got me thinking how stress i could be.i got back my Chinese o's result and i did bad.i got a shocking D7.seriously, i din expect myself to get a D.maybe a C,that,i wouldn't be surprised.but i got a D.i cant accept the fact that i got a D.2 more weeks to Chinese prelims,i better do well to prove to myself that i can do better in my chinese.decided to retake my Chinese again.
time really flies,a week has alr gone by and 8 more weeks to O's.indeed am counting.every single day, i told myself that i can't relax.the moment i reached home,bathed and everything,i started to mug.seriously, i have so much things to catch up.can i really get an A?sometimes i really felt so useless and lousy.sometimes i dont even know who am i, what kinda person am i.sometimes i really wondered wad my future will be like.people says your character is ur destiny.the characters that i carries now may lead me to no better future.
after track&field had closed down and step down from student leadership, i felt so lost and useless.i felt that i can't make decisions and suddenly felt that i have low self esteem.i am feeling so lost now. i tried to think of my good qualities in me, but i realised i have none which is extreme and outstanding.*sigh. track and field really build my characters up, it helped me to find me.but who am i now? i feel so lousy now. i am always following people ard and making decisions without thinking.wanna noe wads my feelings now? i am feeling oh-so-dumb,feeling so dependant on people,feeling so fat and stress and lonely and friendless and low self esteem and so not out-going and so whiny, so gossipy, so bad saying pple behind their back, so confused, so slow so...(it just will nv finish)
why have i became like this?wad made me to be like this now?i wanna be the old me again.where is the old me now?*sigh.wad gotten into me this year.
anw,my class has seriously loads of conflicts.its more than any other classes,thats wad i feel.my class is definitely been split into 2 cliques.the guys with the gurls and the gurls with the gurls.only i understand wad i am typing.ha!and somehow,it really makes me wondered why a class that has been together since sec1,seems to be difficult to hang out or even talk to sometimes.its been 4yrs and more that we have come together as a class,wad should i exactly call them?just classmates?literally plain classmates?or should i even call them my friends?i really dunno.why are der still so many backstabbing and talking behind classmates's back?come to think of it, i realised i dun even noe much abt them.hopefully shanghai trip could better understand them.
okay, i must start mugging now.GOOD LUCK!

Friday, August 10, 2007

alone

gee!my prelims are like in 2 weeks time and i'm still procrastinating my time away.i seriously need motivation and help from people now.In 2months time i'll be taking my major exam and i haven begin my revision yet.i've gt loads to catch up with.my amths suck and my teacher's der to help me out but when i understands it,soon i'll jus fergets cuz i din revise.omgs! time is really short.2months of revision til o's come.will i be able to score As? omgs!i need help seriously.2months of endurance,i believe i can bear fruit for my efforts.it must pay off.its only 2months.i tell myself i must get As fer my maths and science.i need all the help i can get by teachers and friends.i really do.pls help.friends, keep up wit the pace,i'll be driving really fast this time round.=))its only 2months. so yea.lets score well in our O levels.no time to play,we're really running out of time so we have to stop procrastinating,seriously.JIAYOU MANS!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

finally its done!

its 4.24 am now and i've to go school in like 3 hrs time.hoho. i haven slept for 2 nites straight.man! aint i a real nocturnal?haha. dnt's really killing me.today is the final dateline and i've finally finish it all.but its kinda like last mins work. i dunno if i could score A1 for last min work like that.sigh!my efforts kinda got down the drain... ytd was the dateline but i haven finish my work yet so yea..beg my dumb teacher or extension.dnt really gt me so stressed up that i kinda broke down ytd. its all ur fault mr t!made me so effing pissed with u.anw yea.gtg draw my problem situaions now.=D taha

Monday, August 06, 2007

stressed up!

have a sudden urge to blog again.sigh! i just wanna blog my stress out.been really busy doing my DNT project.its forever dnt that i've to get all stressed up over.my classmates are way in front of me and tomorrow's the dateline.sigh! its tedious doing quality work.today,i skipped school cause i needed to finish up my dnt. i've alr burned my 1 week of school due to my fever,cough,flu,help out in granny's wake after that.i cant even do my dnt for that week at all cuz the table is all occupy with food for cousins to eat,full of clothes and books and besides,i dun even have the bloody mood to do when granny passed away and feeling all so sick and drowsy after the medication.now, doing it so last min really kills.its been a week for sleeping at 3 to 4 almost everynight rushing for my dnt.weekends,i've gt my netball trg and tournament.the tournament alone has alr burned off my whole evening.rush home,bath,eat and stuffs.cousins came and started to talk til like 10!crap!the noise and stuffs,how to do my work.wahlao!! and today i've to skip school for my bloody DNT.FUCKKK!!!!! urgh.!i'm sooo way behind everyone now.=(( tmr's the dateline.i'm so worried i cant finish up my dnt and i haven been consistent in my studies.the whole darn week is dnt dnt dnt!!!AHHHHH!!!!somebody pls help me!sigh...i am left with another 13 hrs to finsih up my dnt.so i shan't take up too much time bloggin now.so yea.feel better blogging my stress.haha.okay!now its time to drive forward again.good luck merina.LOL