=)

im bored and i skipped lecture this morning at 8am, i was slightly late and i din want to attend 2hrs lect and den break for 2hrs cuz im not taking stats. so i pass my student card to my friend to help me tap for lecture and i had to think of lies to lie to my parents that i mistaken that i got class. ohman. i lied.

i suddenly have this random feelings of missing solo sports again. i was from track& field since primary 2 until sec 3,its 7 years alry but initally was from taekwondo since primary 2 until primary 4, til now i still do have the passion for running jus that i like running competitively and not for leisure. i miss running competitively. Then, track and field closed down and i went for netball, i was wondering wad the heck was i doing in netball. the training was fucking slack, they dun do Physical training and endurance training at all. i missed the old me. the strong mentally to perserver and go all out, 110% with the nv give up attitude. now? i think i lost it. or rather, i shld say i din lose it. maybe i jus reserve myself back.

my coursemates are pretty weird, especially certain pple from my class, i dun get why they ahve to act this way, why they wana jump to conclusion and make a big fuss over it. why cant they jsut open their mouth and ask or talk to us abt it? i really feel like telling them off but den again, i dun. cuz i think i shldnt care much abt these kinda pple. this was random, but nvm, back to sports, so i was saying i missed solo sports so i decided to join sprint kayak in poly, i managed to go thru all the shits trials and i was in the school team. but due to bad time management, major conflicts with my classmates and a sudden new commitment, i tot i could handle things myself.But sadly, i was wrong. i tot i dun need anyone but i was dead wrong. i din noe how to handle situations. so den, my results were poor, suppose to retain 1 sem but din i supposed. den quitted sprint kayak(a motivating team of rowers) and did i mention i joined netball in nyp too? and yes. quitted nyp too.

So den, i wasnt in any sports for 1 semester and i felt like a total loser.i felt lousy. but i managed to pull up my results tho. from lousy to average student or even better. mentor even praised me and said that im an above average student. haha! hmmm.. well thanks mentor! wad a compliment. i'll nv forget.haha! i wanted to join back sprint kayak but i dun think i've the time to commit myself into sports these days. i dun want anything to affect my results now. my studies is damn important for this crucial semester. im depending on this crucial semester to pull me thru whether i'll be retaining 1 semester or not. so yea, merina, u shldnt feel bad abt urself. u are still u, just that this crucial period u gt to reserve yourself alot. its the crucial period. dun pray prayy!! i dun want to retain.

but den after that 2nd semester without sports, i cannot tahan alry, im damn bloody desperate for competitive sports. so i joined ultimate frisbee. tho u must be wondering, huh? frisbee competitive meh? well our sch nyp is playing frisbee competitively tho. its a combination of land sports, of cuz der's no sea sports in it tho. haha! i din want to play competitively at first but my friend tempted me with her desperation to get into school team. alrighty! prolly i'll jus give it a shot but i've to remind myself that no matter wad, my studies have to come first, THE TOP! den anything else. merina buck up! be YOU! jus be YOU! i need myself to rise again. come on! i miss the old merina. dun change for someone except for urself. jus be YOU. =)

i'll be dead back damn soon. DESPERATION.