chinese new year was over a few days back and my ANGBAO wasnt received satisfyingly. every year angbao's collection seem to reduce alot more now. however, angbao at my mother's side seem to maintain.=) ever since my uncle gotten rich, he took care of every single family member of the GOH and gave everyone a job,now my cousin is well feed,even drives a car,bought a hse and living happily. how nice!
anw,life is uber boring these days.my life doesnt have full of spice. nowaday i jus dun seem to be interested in anything at all. i dun have the desire to work hard, dun ahve the motivation to study, dun have the drive to do wad i want to do. i lost all that now. i feel useless..like a total loser! i feel like a nth now. im a nobody! NOBODY!!!! and it totally suck. i need to get back doing sport to train my character and grow as an individual. its still not time for me to understand the world yet when i've not fully develop my characters as in individual. i no longer have the drive and care absolutely NOTHING at all. this year i've alr missed like a few lessons my timetable is effing messy. I NEED A CCA! gonna make time for it. i hate this sort of mandane life, without sport, i lost my disipline and determination. totally lost it. AHHHH!!!!!! frustrating.. really frustratingggggg!!!!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
FRIENDSHIP..
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parent or children's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after she has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it (but wouldn't).
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight. (Even if it was with them).
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
SADLY, some people just utterly disappoint me with their actions and the trust is no longer there btw us anymore. just have to move on and find new once.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parent or children's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after she has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it (but wouldn't).
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight. (Even if it was with them).
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
SADLY, some people just utterly disappoint me with their actions and the trust is no longer there btw us anymore. just have to move on and find new once.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
adventure raced
i jus synergy-ed this
yr like ytd? and my calf muscles and shoulders are killing me! its soring now seriously! the whole entire adventure race was from bukit timah to macritchie to lower seletar reservoir park..we ran lke mad and my partner was alr half dying.. and i can rmb vividly abt this particular task whereby we have to choose btw bread with wasabi and mustard sauce OR 2 raw eggs with shell.GOSH! it was terrible! my partner and i teared like mad,cough like mad and our stomach were alr dead burning! wen we run,we can feel the burning sensation.FUCK that task seriously..lol.it was killing us.and along the way, we had nice pple who offer us water! thanks rich aunty! and pple who direct us to the place!the whole race may be tiring and all but i definitely enjoy the race with my partner.i think i've made my partner annoyed with me quite a few times and my partner was also brave enuff to take the courage to have the paints on this face while he conplains his face itches really badly.BRAVO PARTNER! YOUR THE BEST!=)
this race we gt ourselves WET totally,cuz of the pool game,i had to swim sitting on the float and the freaking float was soo small! the gal was tellin to put ur butt in and i was like ya..it was in and i still capsize! APPARENTLY! my butt was too BIG for tat float!AIYERRR!! wasted!we ran for hours,bus-ed,kayaked,ran again,cycled,swim,climb,abseiled.slide,pain?(my skin tear at the back of my ankle and it was bleedin that my shoe had some blood stains on it.
but overall,it was a great experience and race and the last part wher we were able to enjoy the task,its t actually slide all the way down from wereva and the funny thing is that after that,a couple came over to interview us abt the race!! SHIT MAN! of all pple,they chose us!man! i prolly look fugly and answered some fugly answers!OHDEARRR!!all thanks to my partner man!.! and lastly!that picture was taken on the 25th floor!thanks to the adventure club! we climb that up i think b4 our wasabi bread.but prolly i would wanna join synergy2010 again!=)
CHEERS TO SYNERGY 2009 AND ADVENTURE CLUB THAT MADE THIS SYNERGY RACE A SUCCESS!GOOD JOB!=)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
missing my maid alot now.
Today Dahwin(maid) has left us for her family.she's with us for abt 2yrs or so.i really begin to miss her alr. the moment she left us at the departure hall, i teared wen she left. sis and i was hopin that she'll turn ard and wave goodbye but she din.=( once we reached home, she called! im really happy and sad at the same time that i din wanna hear her voice den. she'll make me tear wen cuz i miss her very much.
sigh...why she doesnt wanna stay?the feeling of departing with a person is really saddening, i alr treat her like one of our family member, the moment she left, i jus feel like something is missing, the whole family is not whole anymore without her. wen my grandma left, dahwin is still with us...and now dahwin has left..sighh..she's 1 unique maid we had and i'll always rmb her in my heart.how i wish she'll come back to be with us again.sighhh..
i miss my maid alot now that she's not here anymore with us.she's alr part of the family and now it doesnt feel like the family is complete without her with us.sighh. it jus feel so something is missing now.
sigh...why she doesnt wanna stay?the feeling of departing with a person is really saddening, i alr treat her like one of our family member, the moment she left, i jus feel like something is missing, the whole family is not whole anymore without her. wen my grandma left, dahwin is still with us...and now dahwin has left..sighh..she's 1 unique maid we had and i'll always rmb her in my heart.how i wish she'll come back to be with us again.sighhh..
i miss my maid alot now that she's not here anymore with us.she's alr part of the family and now it doesnt feel like the family is complete without her with us.sighh. it jus feel so something is missing now.
i guess der's alot to adapt to now. from today on, i have to wake my ass up immediately wen my alarm sounds, no more human alarm clock anymore. from today on, i've to face my house without laughing and smiling, from today on, nomore dahwin to tell me her amazing and weird stories from those bangaladesh incident she and her friend encountered.from today on, no more tasty dishes for breakfast,lunch and dinner over the weekdays. from today on, no more dahwin to help us with the housework. from today on, no more dahwin to do things that i dun wanna do. from today on, no more saying "BYE DAHWIN" wen i'm off to somewhere. from today on, no more calling"DAHWINNNN" wen im back from somewhere. from today on, no more sharing of tasty hot chilly with me. from today on, no more seeing someone soo happy and laughin at home anymore. from today on, der will only be 5 instead of 6pple at home now. from today on, no more dahwin to play with me anymore. from today on, no more dahwin to joke with me anymore.from today on, no more dahwin to make the house feel warm anymore.
i really am starting to begin to miss you dahwin. please come back!
Saturday, January 03, 2009
bday chalet a ECP!
DURING CYL'S BDAY CHALET! WE ALL MADE NEW LITTLE FRIENDS! ILANA AND BRENDON! =) HAD GREAT FUN DER! ATE TIL 3MIDNITE!=)
Friday, December 26, 2008
(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)
Energetic Doers are cheerful and spontaneous persons. They are charming and full of energy and real persons of action. They keep a clear head and the overview even in difficult situations. This makes them popular problem solvers. Their ability of being able to absorb and process information is phenomenal. Energetic Doers also have strong powers of observation and a keen sense when dealing with other people. They are very perceptive, witty and clever. They have a natural ability of convincing others of their point of view. Energetic Doers live completely in the here and now and make spontaneous decisions from one moment to the next. They love being together with other people and are sensuous, lively and amusing conversationalists. It is no problem for them to be the effervescent centre of attention at a party and they are generous, skilful and good hosts. They do not brood over consequences for long; they quickly grasp all the relevant facts, make a pragmatic decision and enforce that decision vigorously. Should a decision later turn out to have been wrong, one can always make new plans.
Energetic Doers magically attract fun and action. They need the kick - as far as possible with other people. Many representatives of this type have dangerous hobbies or go in for extreme sports. They quite consciously put themselves in dangerous situations again and again. At work too, Energetic Doers seek fun and variety above all. They are bored to death by routine, safety and calculability. Crises are their elixir of life and really bring their strong points to light. They react to new challenges flexibly and effectively. They gain their confidence from their imperturbable self-assuredness that they will be able to cope with them. Energetic Doers prefer practical activities which lead to visible results rather than theoretical fields of work. Endless discussions with colleagues quickly get on their nerves and they do not have the patience for interpersonal niceties. They say how something has to be done and that’s that!
» Learn more about the Energetic Doer at work ...
Energetic Doers keep their friends in suspense with their wit, esprit and quickness in repartee. They mostly have a large circle of friends and acquaintances but often remain non-committal in their relationships. They expect a great deal of reliability and tolerance from their really good friends but are also willing to give the same to them. However, due to their spontaneous nature, they always remain a little surprising and unpredictable, also for their partners. Energetic Doers need a lot of space and time to themselves; they quickly feel hemmed in if their partners cling too strongly to them. But if you give them plenty of leeway, they are generous, cheerful and extremely imaginative life companions with whom you can have a lot of fun and enjoy life to the full. They do not avoid conflicts but address them openly and sometimes sparks can really fly. But this is typical for Energetic Doers and, afterwards, they are all the more devoted and loving.
» Learn more about the Energetic Doer in love ...
The Energetic Doer is an extroverted Doer. You have fantastic powers of observation, which permit you to sense people’s motivations long before others do. That is the basis of your ability to gage your counterparts quickly and correctly, and adroitly respond to everybody. You also enjoy being with others, you would not be happy working in solitude. You are most effective as a team member. Your life’s elixir is dealing with other people, communication, discussions and as much action as you can get.
Here is one of your most important abilities: You are an excellent diplomat and negotiator, and especially when you need to convince others of an idea and - literally or figuratively - sell something on somebody. With your charisma, eloquence, charm and persuasiveness, you could be one of those personality types who would be able to manipulate others for your own purposes. And yet by nature, you are much too open and direct to negatively outfox someone. Any intrigue is foreign and unappealing to you.
You also astutely observe your environment, and immediately register even the smallest changes. You rarely miss anything important, because you approach everything with curiosity and interest. Your memory for details and facts is legendary. You absorb everything of interest to you like a sponge, and then store it for possible later use. Occasionally, you may not take the time to sufficiently search your memory prior to making a decision or starting a project. However, the reason for that is not that you are overlooking something, it is just that you are sometimes in too much a hurry to get going and lose your focus for the small print as a result.
Charismatic, lively, and passionate, you have no problems finding a partner to charm. By pushing an imaginary button, you can develop vibes that almost no one can withstand. You want someone on your side with whom you can share lots of fun and action, who loves life as much as you, and is ready for any adventure. Always the same routines are an absolute horror for you in your relationship, as well.
If it were up to you, your life and your relationship would be a never-ending roller coaster ride: pure thrills are what count! The same applies to sexual matters. “Born to be wild” is your motto and you trigger fireworks for yourself and your partner that simply takes one‘s breath away. For your passion, no position is too outlandish, no experiment too unusual, and no location too risky, or uncomfortable. With that, you are perfectly comfortable in putting up with the lows in return for the highs. You can even enjoy the drama and excitement inherent in a real fight. Malicious rumors have it that you occasionally even pick a good fight because then the sparks fly and you love the passionate making up ...
All too complicated harmony-needy, and security-minded personalities are not a good choice for you in the long term. They’ll bore you very quickly, and then you’ll get restless and start looking for something (or somebody) new. You belong to those types for whom the occasional affair is a possibility, anyway. If you are looking for your permanent love, your partner better share your need for variety and excitement, and know how to take care of it. You will be faithful as long as the excitement between you is alive and well. Take a little more time before you commit yourself to someone for good (despite your spontaneous nature of letting yourself be carried away to imprudent actions in the moments of passion).
wow.majority of it sounds like me,i think..wad do YOU think?am i really like wad it says??TELL ME!=)
Energetic Doers are cheerful and spontaneous persons. They are charming and full of energy and real persons of action. They keep a clear head and the overview even in difficult situations. This makes them popular problem solvers. Their ability of being able to absorb and process information is phenomenal. Energetic Doers also have strong powers of observation and a keen sense when dealing with other people. They are very perceptive, witty and clever. They have a natural ability of convincing others of their point of view. Energetic Doers live completely in the here and now and make spontaneous decisions from one moment to the next. They love being together with other people and are sensuous, lively and amusing conversationalists. It is no problem for them to be the effervescent centre of attention at a party and they are generous, skilful and good hosts. They do not brood over consequences for long; they quickly grasp all the relevant facts, make a pragmatic decision and enforce that decision vigorously. Should a decision later turn out to have been wrong, one can always make new plans.
Energetic Doers magically attract fun and action. They need the kick - as far as possible with other people. Many representatives of this type have dangerous hobbies or go in for extreme sports. They quite consciously put themselves in dangerous situations again and again. At work too, Energetic Doers seek fun and variety above all. They are bored to death by routine, safety and calculability. Crises are their elixir of life and really bring their strong points to light. They react to new challenges flexibly and effectively. They gain their confidence from their imperturbable self-assuredness that they will be able to cope with them. Energetic Doers prefer practical activities which lead to visible results rather than theoretical fields of work. Endless discussions with colleagues quickly get on their nerves and they do not have the patience for interpersonal niceties. They say how something has to be done and that’s that!
» Learn more about the Energetic Doer at work ...
Energetic Doers keep their friends in suspense with their wit, esprit and quickness in repartee. They mostly have a large circle of friends and acquaintances but often remain non-committal in their relationships. They expect a great deal of reliability and tolerance from their really good friends but are also willing to give the same to them. However, due to their spontaneous nature, they always remain a little surprising and unpredictable, also for their partners. Energetic Doers need a lot of space and time to themselves; they quickly feel hemmed in if their partners cling too strongly to them. But if you give them plenty of leeway, they are generous, cheerful and extremely imaginative life companions with whom you can have a lot of fun and enjoy life to the full. They do not avoid conflicts but address them openly and sometimes sparks can really fly. But this is typical for Energetic Doers and, afterwards, they are all the more devoted and loving.
» Learn more about the Energetic Doer in love ...
The Energetic Doer is an extroverted Doer. You have fantastic powers of observation, which permit you to sense people’s motivations long before others do. That is the basis of your ability to gage your counterparts quickly and correctly, and adroitly respond to everybody. You also enjoy being with others, you would not be happy working in solitude. You are most effective as a team member. Your life’s elixir is dealing with other people, communication, discussions and as much action as you can get.
Here is one of your most important abilities: You are an excellent diplomat and negotiator, and especially when you need to convince others of an idea and - literally or figuratively - sell something on somebody. With your charisma, eloquence, charm and persuasiveness, you could be one of those personality types who would be able to manipulate others for your own purposes. And yet by nature, you are much too open and direct to negatively outfox someone. Any intrigue is foreign and unappealing to you.
You also astutely observe your environment, and immediately register even the smallest changes. You rarely miss anything important, because you approach everything with curiosity and interest. Your memory for details and facts is legendary. You absorb everything of interest to you like a sponge, and then store it for possible later use. Occasionally, you may not take the time to sufficiently search your memory prior to making a decision or starting a project. However, the reason for that is not that you are overlooking something, it is just that you are sometimes in too much a hurry to get going and lose your focus for the small print as a result.
Charismatic, lively, and passionate, you have no problems finding a partner to charm. By pushing an imaginary button, you can develop vibes that almost no one can withstand. You want someone on your side with whom you can share lots of fun and action, who loves life as much as you, and is ready for any adventure. Always the same routines are an absolute horror for you in your relationship, as well.
If it were up to you, your life and your relationship would be a never-ending roller coaster ride: pure thrills are what count! The same applies to sexual matters. “Born to be wild” is your motto and you trigger fireworks for yourself and your partner that simply takes one‘s breath away. For your passion, no position is too outlandish, no experiment too unusual, and no location too risky, or uncomfortable. With that, you are perfectly comfortable in putting up with the lows in return for the highs. You can even enjoy the drama and excitement inherent in a real fight. Malicious rumors have it that you occasionally even pick a good fight because then the sparks fly and you love the passionate making up ...
All too complicated harmony-needy, and security-minded personalities are not a good choice for you in the long term. They’ll bore you very quickly, and then you’ll get restless and start looking for something (or somebody) new. You belong to those types for whom the occasional affair is a possibility, anyway. If you are looking for your permanent love, your partner better share your need for variety and excitement, and know how to take care of it. You will be faithful as long as the excitement between you is alive and well. Take a little more time before you commit yourself to someone for good (despite your spontaneous nature of letting yourself be carried away to imprudent actions in the moments of passion).
wow.majority of it sounds like me,i think..wad do YOU think?am i really like wad it says??TELL ME!=)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
supperclub-ed
one was in supperclub, the other was after supperclub.it was a celebration of my best bud's bday! CATHERINE CHUA! HEIHEI.of cuz,the most effort done for her bday is my other best bud,EMILY ANG!ahaha.like some award winning ceremony.lol.And me?gee,come to think of it,i hadnt done much tho.gee..i feel BAD!VERY!wad kinda best bud am i man?but ohwell,at least i managed to appear for her bday celebration.8D.To catherine:"miner,hope u enjoyed ur 18th bday!if ur reading this, by crook or by hook,im or we(me and emily) gonna bring u go clubbing!wed is lady's nite!aha!this is sucha belated post.oh still,late is better den nv! (8|
AND GUESS WAD?! FEW MORE WEEKS TO 2009!
and wad have am i done in 2008?wad have you done in 2008?this yr is coming to an end,time flies...seriously.come to think of it,actually alot has happened within jus 1 yr.Many things have happened,sadness,happiness,anger,disappointed,guiltiness.seriously,i've grown alot more now i guess.especially after meeting him. he definitely changed my life alot,he helped me to see things differently in life now,he's sucha knowledgable man,i dun even understand what his family been feeding him,so brainy.damn it.im far from an itch of his brain.okayy..im not that bimbo-tic.jus exagerating.hei!8.D (my smiley has a mole!COOL!) okay,back to where i was saying,hmm..and not jus my life have changed,even the world has changed alot too. the movies are now showing all the disruption of the Earth, the economic crisis of the world, the thai crisis, the mumbai terrorist attack.gee,doesnt all this frighten any human beings? is this an indication that the World's gonna end? are brainy human beings the culprits to destruction of the Earth?and even the US president is no longer George Bush,but barack obama,i dun like him becuz he's black. is the world gonna led by more blacks now?is the world gonna be ruled by blacks soon?geee,thats insane!the world is soon to be gone.i shld do more donations,sin less and go church more,before anything occurs.i wanna go to a peaceful place and end all sufferings.
WAIT! wth with me?i'm seem to be soooooo weird these days.ohwell..prolly its my process of growth.finding the true MERINA!AHAHA!crappish! SALUT! 8 )
Friday, December 19, 2008
hello blog
i guess i've decided,and tho it thru.wads the pt to dwell on situations?wads the point of thinking so hard whats the prob and where's the prob lies?the probs might be with i all this while,jus that i might not have realised it.i may be blinded by my positive mindset to keep making myself think that im great and i can make things great,i can make every single thing great.But in actual fact,thats all that i want.i cant handle everything yet.life is indeed a learning process,wateva setbacks that happened on a person,i jus have to move on,it hurts to dwell on it too much.maybe i can have abit of reflection here and there,getting a solution.but wads the point of dwelling and thinking it over and over again?we jus have to learn to move on.The person that i'm with now is definitely guiding me thruout my halfway to adulthood pathway,and i thank you alot.For being der all the time,even when i said im fine,that person will still be there.thank you.=)
From today on,i guess i've understand and learnt that god is kind to me,god is just testing me if i could handle all these shit,to let me grow up to be a better and wiser adult,i guess.haha.and also to make me much mature den the rest.but it definitely gonna take time,i dun wanna grow up still,i still wanna be protected by the ball of shide.But how long can i stay inside?not any time longer.
daddy jus came in and said:"mei,your future is in ur own hands,we're here jus to guide you,dun ruin your own future hor."
i find that living in this world is alr a brave thing we humans are doing.its soo scary living on Earth,i wonder when will the world gonna end?and all the sufferings and pain will end.every happy soul will be up with god,sharing the joy the painless,eternity life with him.
time now is 6.33am and im still awake,indeed i am a nocturnal,my brain works well at nite,its calm and quiet and peaceful in the nite.i jus like it when the sun the down.(only during holidays)nite is the best time where you can have all the time in the world to urself,doing all the things u want,not being distracted,getting away from all the shit that is gonna go on when the sun is up.how scary is that.urghh...the river flows with you soundtrack is making me really thinking alot of crap now.
gee,the sun is rising soon.its a brand new day.Have to learn to take things in my control,in my hands.MY HANDS!!=)
From today on,i guess i've understand and learnt that god is kind to me,god is just testing me if i could handle all these shit,to let me grow up to be a better and wiser adult,i guess.haha.and also to make me much mature den the rest.but it definitely gonna take time,i dun wanna grow up still,i still wanna be protected by the ball of shide.But how long can i stay inside?not any time longer.
daddy jus came in and said:"mei,your future is in ur own hands,we're here jus to guide you,dun ruin your own future hor."
i find that living in this world is alr a brave thing we humans are doing.its soo scary living on Earth,i wonder when will the world gonna end?and all the sufferings and pain will end.every happy soul will be up with god,sharing the joy the painless,eternity life with him.
time now is 6.33am and im still awake,indeed i am a nocturnal,my brain works well at nite,its calm and quiet and peaceful in the nite.i jus like it when the sun the down.(only during holidays)nite is the best time where you can have all the time in the world to urself,doing all the things u want,not being distracted,getting away from all the shit that is gonna go on when the sun is up.how scary is that.urghh...the river flows with you soundtrack is making me really thinking alot of crap now.
gee,the sun is rising soon.its a brand new day.Have to learn to take things in my control,in my hands.MY HANDS!!=)
twilight
gee,twilight simply melts me.indeed,it is an "awesomic" movie i ever seen,especially those parts where Edward Cullen's declare his love for bella.it simply melts me completely.And additional to this "awesomic" movie,is also the "awesomic" soundtracks.especially the "river flows with you"by Yiruma,"flightless bird,American mouth" by iron&wine and "Bella lullaby"by carter burwell.
im trying to get a way to let me learn how to play those 2 piano songs, i'll be simply melted by that person who plays those as well..twilight ooh twilight,u definitely make me draw memories and imagination badly whenever i hear the soundtracks or the declaration of the love or both,it made make me tear as well..
gee,I'm getting emotional at 5.36am,on a Friday..simply lying on my double Decker bed,using IBM laptop listening to"river flows with you" and having birds chipping.my dad gonna come in any min.
gee,it seems so different when i blog this entry at such late hours with such romantic soundtrack im listening to.Getting emotional,yes..yes i am.im definitely missing someone rite now,at this very moment.
im trying to get a way to let me learn how to play those 2 piano songs, i'll be simply melted by that person who plays those as well..twilight ooh twilight,u definitely make me draw memories and imagination badly whenever i hear the soundtracks or the declaration of the love or both,it made make me tear as well..
gee,I'm getting emotional at 5.36am,on a Friday..simply lying on my double Decker bed,using IBM laptop listening to"river flows with you" and having birds chipping.my dad gonna come in any min.
gee,it seems so different when i blog this entry at such late hours with such romantic soundtrack im listening to.Getting emotional,yes..yes i am.im definitely missing someone rite now,at this very moment.
Friday, December 12, 2008
its dec and my holiday mood are all hype up!
Gee,my blog was temporary dead for a month or so..prolly cuz i dunno what i've been doing with my life and i jus nv felt like blogging den..
After so much have happened and so many negative impact on me,it hurt me mentally,hurt my pride and it made me lose confidence of myself..going to school everyday bores me with classmates not opening up and treating me like a stranger.i need to move on,i tot i did..but i din..its so hard when u only go to sch jus to study..everyday i've been gazing and daydreaming and not being pro-active in class.it hasnt been "me" recently when im in class.its not easy being me with my cliques now.
Finally 2weeks of study holiday has jus started and it was the very first time i ever felt soooo happy that i wanted to celebrate for this holiday.this is insanity.i need to get my engine,my mood,my energy all started again.its tiring not to be able to be yourself and its tiring not having people to believe you in your clique.it spoils my mood all the time.
MY ONLY AIM now after this holidays is to be me again,if that is possible..no,i must! but im having some self-doubts here.sigh.
merina is a real emo-shit!its emotionally tiring not to have pple der to listen you out.i lost my pride and im feeling inferior now.i jus wanna sleep and never gets up.EMO-ING!!! WTH! i shld stop emo-ing..i need to go running now.toddles! =D
After so much have happened and so many negative impact on me,it hurt me mentally,hurt my pride and it made me lose confidence of myself..going to school everyday bores me with classmates not opening up and treating me like a stranger.i need to move on,i tot i did..but i din..its so hard when u only go to sch jus to study..everyday i've been gazing and daydreaming and not being pro-active in class.it hasnt been "me" recently when im in class.its not easy being me with my cliques now.
Finally 2weeks of study holiday has jus started and it was the very first time i ever felt soooo happy that i wanted to celebrate for this holiday.this is insanity.i need to get my engine,my mood,my energy all started again.its tiring not to be able to be yourself and its tiring not having people to believe you in your clique.it spoils my mood all the time.
MY ONLY AIM now after this holidays is to be me again,if that is possible..no,i must! but im having some self-doubts here.sigh.
merina is a real emo-shit!its emotionally tiring not to have pple der to listen you out.i lost my pride and im feeling inferior now.i jus wanna sleep and never gets up.EMO-ING!!! WTH! i shld stop emo-ing..i need to go running now.toddles! =D
Sunday, November 16, 2008
c'est la vie
HELLO!
its been a long time since i last blogged,okay..so wad was i really busy with that i had no time to blog?hmm..
ohwell,i miss my two buddies and apparently,i dun even noe wad im busy with that i got no time to meet them up.=(
and monday is my bioscience MCQ! so have to score a D.ouhouh..D*distinction okay..haha!i have and i must! no other choice,gonna go back studying again..BIOSCIENCE!here i come to conquer you!
this semester isnt going so well for me.=(i miss having CCAs,miss being really active in school and miss laughting like crazzyyy.
i dun even noe wad the hell am i doing with this semester 2.its so depressing knowing that you're not one of the best in class and others are much better?you jus feel soooo lousy.Going to sch jus for academic is really depressing..I MISS MY SPORTS!!! =(
i miss having competitions,i miss having to compete wit others to noe where you stand,i miss all the fun,i miss the friends that i used to make earlier before this semester..but looks like they're all disappeared to another world.
my belief is..To be an asset,not a liability to others.And everything is solved.life is just so simple.why do others have to make it sound so complicated and narrow and blar blar blar..its jus so simple!
urghh..my blog is really boring pple out.HAHA!
anw i started my french,let me teach some french here..
je'mappelle Gisele(i am gisele)
salut!(hi,bye..in a friendly way)
tu't pelle merina(you are merina)
elle't pelle(she is)
c'est la vie(life's like this)
bonjour(hello)
bonsoir(good afternoon)
bonnuit(good nite)
comment ca va(how's life)
thats all folks for now!
SALUT! =D
Monday, October 20, 2008
finally ran after so many months!
Could you imagine? Merina the sporty one who loves to run like nobody business actually lost her stamina?oh well,partly cause i haven been running sometime and definitely it was really hard to pick up running at the usual speed which i always do.People will feel comfortable running in their own regular speed and jogging for me?i find it even more tiring for me..But it was not easy to keep up the pace and distance i used to run,i was panting really hard! And to be honest,today was the VERY FIRST TIME i walked in my entire 18 years of my life!And i din walk jus once,i walked many times..i felt like shit! why did i even walk?! i need someone to motivate me to push me to finish the race.its not easy to pick it up your own. sigh!im feeling total shitty!=( i jus dun seem to understand why i cant just push myself all the bloody way! URGH! i hate myself! WHY?! im so weak! such a failure i am! SO WEAK!!!! i need people to push me all the time,i need competitions to motivate me,i need something to tempt me to work harder.people always find excuses when they cant push themselves hard enuff.i find these people weak.And for me,i dun wanna be a weakling,no more EXCUSES for now on! just do it! GPA 3and ABOVE! kill and torture me in order to get that grade!hopefully im prepared! and pple who always asked me to rest and dun get so hard on myself,jus keep pushin me on and dun give me a chance for breaks at all.no matter how much i whine,dun jus give in.
i find that everything you do in life, the principle is always the same...the more time and effort and sacrifices you make, the more you will enjoy your fruit of labour..it applies not just sports,studies,CCAs..it also applies in work.the more time you sacrific,the nearer you'll reach your goal.NO MORE EXCUSES!
Anw today i pon-ned sch due to the driving shit,i took sch for theory and private for driving.i find it easier to pass if i did the theory under sch.so no confidence eh?And the lady called me up few days back to remind me to do my BTE latest by monday!that is like less den 14days? by right u shld finish everything in 14days but my case was slightly diff.so over the weekends,i had no slot to book! i ganchiong so i decided to pon sch today and take everything by today..including my 2 BTL and BTE.heihei! i passed my BTE! next wed is my TEST!prolly i'll pass! and today i was super busy the WHOLE DAY! woke up at 8,studied abit,went for class,came back home,went for class again,waited at the school,booked my BTE,went home checked on my elective module,went out to get my stupid MC! it was $8plus in polyclinic! no more wad $4! and it was so frustrating! the stupid doc in rm 10 was FREAKING SLOW! and the people working der jus couldnt help this pity merina here to get it done quick,made me took cab to BBDC,rushed like shit and jus nice,1 min b4 the BTE starts,PHEW! ABLE TO CATCH MY BREATHE A LITTLE.HEIHEI! and after everythinggg...it was alr 5.40pm
so den,decided to run and guess wad! i saw AARON! so glad to see him running! =)i bet he's gonna be hundred times better den i am.sighhh!! im sucha failure! i walked!!!! URGHHH!!!!!!!!!! SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF!! SO WEAK!!!!!mentally!sigh.im hungry! ciao!
sucha lengthy post again! why does merina always have so many things to write! CRAZY!!!!!!! HAHAHHAAH
I WANT TO RUN NIKE HUMAN RACE!!!hopefully 09 they will hold it again.=)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
quit worrying.
Fundamental facts you should know about worryIf you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Two
Basic techniques in analyzing worry
Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
What is the problem?
What is the cause of the problem?
What are all possible solutions?
What is the best solution?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Three
How to break the worry habit before it breaks you
Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Four
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness
Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles!
Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Five
The perfect way to conquer worry
Prayer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Six
How to keep from worrying about criticism
Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Seven
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high
Rest before you get tired.
Learn to relax at your work.
Learn to relax at home.
Apply these four good workings habits:
Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
Do things in the order of their importance.
When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Two
Basic techniques in analyzing worry
Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
What is the problem?
What is the cause of the problem?
What are all possible solutions?
What is the best solution?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Three
How to break the worry habit before it breaks you
Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Four
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness
Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles!
Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Five
The perfect way to conquer worry
Prayer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Six
How to keep from worrying about criticism
Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part Seven
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high
Rest before you get tired.
Learn to relax at your work.
Learn to relax at home.
Apply these four good workings habits:
Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
Do things in the order of their importance.
When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
Friday, October 17, 2008
its been a rough time but its all over..=)
LOL! mini N95 with esther's actual N95.KOOL EH! miniN95 is suitable for small pple to use!as for shijie,she has to use the actual 1.. =x. ehh....HAHAH!jus jokingg..
WAH!that bottle of SK2 essense cost me a BOMB! i can soak myself in it!heihei!
my cliques lor.
WAH!!sk2's 
goodjob! make my face really fair ehh! and thats erhem..
ahxin!little ms figet-er.HAHAH!let's score GPA 3.8 yo!
Hello..once again,i'm blogging cuz its a Friday nite! And den again,cuz shijie wants to read so i shall let her read about my life.LOL! shijie! see!! im blogging especially for you noe?!! HAHA!ohwell..by right,Friday nite im suppose to go clubbing and have all the shit fun in the world! But den again, i choose not to..Merina made a choice to be a pretty homie gal,staying at home and sit in front of the computer and do a little bit of blogging and instilling some knowledge to my brain..why?because the brain has to keep it healthy and fit! the BRAIN is just like your Muscles..no exercise,muscles gone..its a metaphor for explaining about the brain! haha! oh..enough about the brain!haha!
my semester 1 exam was total shitty! i did badly like horrendously? okay...not exactly,just that i failed one paper and the best thing is that i missed my sub-paper! Missing the sub-paper is where all the problems started to arise! not jus my parents came into the picture, my mentor,my sister,my cca,my work and my friends and definitely it hit me the most! like duhhh rite? i made my Dad run to sch for me,i feel really heart ache,could you visualise one old man running to school cuz the nursing director has to go for meeting in 10mins time?we tried to appeal but it din work and der's gonna be a 6 months extension? its not jus a matter of wasting time here,its also a matter of wasting money! u gonna pay the school fees? and have to hop ard to other classes for that dumb module?My mentor knew abt this and she even went thru all the trouble to help me out!Really glad i have such a mentor liek her..really appreciated her help alot..THANKS MADAM LOI!=).she said something which i think it make sense.."its not like you're financially disabled? you can have the whole time in your life working..but you dun have your whole life to be a student..why not just do well in your studies and score well? you dun get to be student and enjoy student life after this period."i tot it thru and indeed,i shld heed her advise..So now im jobless and CCA-less..no more sprint kayak everyday!But home everyday..=( IM SO GROUNDED!
my dad has been constantly nagging and constantly keeping an eye on what im doing on the computer.urghh..feeling so stranded here! but deep down in my heart,he's doing that for my own good..i understand dad! =) i promised to get GPA at least 3.4 alrite?but hw am i gonna do that when i dun have classmates scoring even at least a GPA of 3.5?sighhhh....
Eversince sch starts,its like sch,home,sch,home..it sounded quite pathetic and lifeless rite? but thats jus the words! its the pple ard me that made it more den jus sch and going home..definitely der's this especial someone made it more den jus that.. =) All i need is just you to make it not mandane.it wasnt boredom when that especial someone is der.i thank god for sending that especial someone to me..thank you!=)
And i'm greatful that i have close people ard to save me out of my pathetic clique.i felt like a lonesome in there,feeling so myself and dead and pathetic and feeling so hard to get emotional support sometimes..luckily der's BGJY to be der for me all the time..thanks babe..=).But Is it me that cause it to be this way?Der isnt any true friends i can find in my clique except BGJY.Why is it so hard to be me in that clique?sigh!all the shit..i miss all my close friends,definitely missing my secondary school life.ohwell..i just have to get pass this and just do well in my studies..i'll be back strong again! i have to!=D
And also,after all this while,i'm glad that you have stick with me all the way..=) thanks b! heh
and guess wad,this is one lengthy post! hahah! cuz its me mahh! i like to write it long!its summary btw.HA! and ya! i stain my demin gal today!!!! can u imagine?! with red huge dots on it.!WAH SIAAAA!!! EMBARASSING MANNN!! i think the chinese boy saw it luh,he was sitting directly behind me.SHIT! no face! i think i have to wear paper bag to sch to hide my face..EMBARASSSINNGGG !! AHH!!! stupid men! next time i shld jus wear diapers,it is fully protected! LOL! alrite! end of my lengthy post! hahaha! nites y'all... =)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
To you and jus you..
A
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a
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a
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a
“When I first met you I was afraid to like you, now that I like you I'm afraid to love you, now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you.”
Thursday, October 09, 2008
BRAIN!
Brains grow and elaborate and strengthen when they are CHALLENGED, and that they change little when solutions are easy to come by.
Recommended Brain Fitness Activities
The task: Add some dark chocolate to your diet.
The reason: When you eat chocolate you activate the systems in your brain that pump dopamine, an important brain chemical. These systems enable learning and memory, and help keep your brain sharp and fit.
The task: Add some dark chocolate to your diet.
The reason: When you eat chocolate you activate the systems in your brain that pump dopamine, an important brain chemical. These systems enable learning and memory, and help keep your brain sharp and fit.
The task: Go on a guided tour of a museum or another site of interest. Pay careful attention to what the guide says. When you get home, try to reconstrucft the tour by writing an outline that includes everything you remember.
The reason: Research into brain plasticity (the ability of the brain to change at any age) indicates that memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function (and hinder the rate of decline) of the brain.
The reason: Research into brain plasticity (the ability of the brain to change at any age) indicates that memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function (and hinder the rate of decline) of the brain.
Monday, September 22, 2008
chinese garden-ed
went to chinese garden for the lantern thingy like ytd?? yea..it was beautiful.the theme for that night was hello kitty! my cousin's favourite(melody) the one badbad was after for while cyclingg...HAHAH!!* only lixin and clique understandddsss...lol. laughed like shit! ohwell,i haven been bloggin for ages alr!
life now are me is practically moving like the calming waters..quite mandane.i dun even noe wad i wanna do in my future now. sighs! GOD, PLEASE GUIDE ME THRU MY LIFE...after this holiday,i'm gonna study hard! hopefully i can really fight on.i must!!!!! i must earn big $,lead a good life and be independant!!! fight on fight on fight on!!!!
btw, some pictures taken at chinese garden!
ALEMAK!! FUCKIN COM! cannot upload the pictures here..nvm! upload someother time.. ciao
life now are me is practically moving like the calming waters..quite mandane.i dun even noe wad i wanna do in my future now. sighs! GOD, PLEASE GUIDE ME THRU MY LIFE...after this holiday,i'm gonna study hard! hopefully i can really fight on.i must!!!!! i must earn big $,lead a good life and be independant!!! fight on fight on fight on!!!!
btw, some pictures taken at chinese garden!
ALEMAK!! FUCKIN COM! cannot upload the pictures here..nvm! upload someother time.. ciao
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