=)

its been awhile since the last time i blogged.today had my maths paper 2 and i left out 2qns.damn!wadeva luh! its just prelims.i'll do uber well for O's no matter wad.And and O's really gettin me fat.SHIT!the whole time i did was just kept on junking den study.sian luhh.its like i'm lifeless. :D.NVM!i'll endure for another month or so and then its shanghai,ohh.hopefully i dun bring bk the food stored under my fats home.aha.den i'll work my body til i get jessica alba's hot bod.haha! :DD

today after maths,something major happened.why must she do such things to herself,i really wonder the things she does,is it really worth it?no matter wad, its still her body and she has to take good care of it.its ur responsibility to take care of ur body, if u dun,no one can really help except urself.dun do such things to urself,u'll make me feeling all worried sick and sad and hurt.i teared when u blacked out.please dun do this to urself ever again!i dun wanna see a single tear from u again,u've cried enuffed.but no matter wad happens,i'll be with u 24hr-ly with my hotline open fer u.rmb that alrite. :DD

joke time! MUST LAUGH!

HE:can i buy u a drink?
SHE:Actually i rather have the money.

HE:i'm a photographer,i've been looking for a face like urs
SHE:i'm a plastic surgeon,i've been looking for a face like urs

HE:hi.din we go on the date once? or was it twice?
SHE:must be once, i never make the same mistake twice.

HE:how did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE:i must be given you my share.

HE:will you go out with me this saturday?
SHE:sorry,i'm having a headache this weekend.

HE:your face must have turn a few heads
SHE:and your face must have turn a few stomachs

HE:okay, dun be shy, ask me out
SHE:okay. get out!

HE:i think i can make you very happy.
SHE:why? are you leaving?

HE:what would u say if i asked you to marry me?
SHE:nothing. i cant talk and laugh at the same time.

HE:can i have your name?
SHE:why?don't you already have one?

HE:shall we go see a movie?
SHE:i've alr seen it.

HE:where have you been all my life?
SHE:hiding away from you.

HE:haven't i seen you some place before?
SHE:yes.that's why i dun go there anymore.

HE:is this seat empty?
SHE.yes.and this will be when you sit down.

HE:so, what do you do for a living?
SHE:i'm a female impersonator.

HE:hey baby,what's your sign?
SHE:Do not enter.

HE:your body is like a temple.
SHE:sorry, there are no services today.

HE:if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.
SHE:if i saw you naked,i'll probably die laughing.

LOL!!

okayokay.enuff of that.
pictures time.

went to grandma's place.

went to malaysia to study with cousin.madness u may think.but thats wad we did.however,we din study like the whole morning til night luh.had breaks in between.GAG!Had so much with Lixin and xianguang,he have a tiny little nipples.HAHA.when we were der studying,my back aches cuz we din have proper study room to study.we snacked sleep and study,SSS and SSS again.its boring over der!still, NOTHING IS BETTER THAN HOME!!!muhaha.
pictures time!

i was totally bored when lixin was snoring.HAHAHA.

it was midnite den,eyes are damn tired.

little cousin's hamster.


hamster trying to crawl away from lixin,scared to die from her kiss.its deadly!:D




this is rather hilarious.mum says i could!=D

and this is rather awesome!

You Have Good Manners 72% of the Time

Your manners are quite excellent. You are well versed in etiquette. Of course you have the occasional slip up, but you even apologize with grace.

How Are Your Manners?happy!

=(

i realized something,deep emotions i had made me remembered my blog.it is time to blog my sadness again.this is rather insane to blog all things negative about what had happened!but somehow,happy moments do not make me blog unless it is an extreme one.but who cares?
i'm feeling all so pissed,sad and irritated.its a mixture of emotions which made me blog.its frustrating to know what people says about you,behind your back.somehow,the best solution is to act ignorant or dumb,dont even use your brains to think at all and everything will be the same as what you thought it is every single day,nice people.its rather weird how people could actually treat their friend as their "diary" topic.spilling out EVERY single thing that happened,EVERY thing that is done.it is like after drinking the water,not even a drop of water should be left in the cup.its all human's nature,perhaps my perception was wrong,perhaps its woman's nature.am i not one?that's insane!i am just different from them.and even more insane to post this up.shalln't further elaborate on it more.i wondered who am i.anw,the hairdresser nearby my hse do not know how to cut a simple hairstyle!its dumb of her to cut at my eyebrows length then to my eyelids.WAKEUP!dont u even noe how to differentiate which is the eyebrows and eyelids you dumb shit!ur price is $1 more than jeanyip and u cant even pull thru ur cutting skills,maybe i should say u cant even understand simple english.i am darn pissed with the hairdresser!WADEVA!
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and STUPID LIES
But deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

certain lyrics describe me.ZOMG!this post made me so emo.no!!i'm a happy person!i am!
quotes for the morning"winners NV quit, quitters NV win"

thinking...

:O

brudder's masterPIECE!=D
felt like blogging again.been counting for my prelims and O's levels, i kept thinking how much time is needed for revision and how much time i had studied,how much time had passed,how much time i slept and how much time i interacted with my friends lately.i realised that i left little time for my revision to O's.people take a few months to years to prepare for their o's,they take consistency in their work.but for me? i've yet to start,knowing i left with few more weeks to my major exams,it really got me thinking how stress i could be.i got back my Chinese o's result and i did bad.i got a shocking D7.seriously, i din expect myself to get a D.maybe a C,that,i wouldn't be surprised.but i got a D.i cant accept the fact that i got a D.2 more weeks to Chinese prelims,i better do well to prove to myself that i can do better in my chinese.decided to retake my Chinese again.
time really flies,a week has alr gone by and 8 more weeks to O's.indeed am counting.every single day, i told myself that i can't relax.the moment i reached home,bathed and everything,i started to mug.seriously, i have so much things to catch up.can i really get an A?sometimes i really felt so useless and lousy.sometimes i dont even know who am i, what kinda person am i.sometimes i really wondered wad my future will be like.people says your character is ur destiny.the characters that i carries now may lead me to no better future.
after track&field had closed down and step down from student leadership, i felt so lost and useless.i felt that i can't make decisions and suddenly felt that i have low self esteem.i am feeling so lost now. i tried to think of my good qualities in me, but i realised i have none which is extreme and outstanding.*sigh. track and field really build my characters up, it helped me to find me.but who am i now? i feel so lousy now. i am always following people ard and making decisions without thinking.wanna noe wads my feelings now? i am feeling oh-so-dumb,feeling so dependant on people,feeling so fat and stress and lonely and friendless and low self esteem and so not out-going and so whiny, so gossipy, so bad saying pple behind their back, so confused, so slow so...(it just will nv finish)
why have i became like this?wad made me to be like this now?i wanna be the old me again.where is the old me now?*sigh.wad gotten into me this year.
anw,my class has seriously loads of conflicts.its more than any other classes,thats wad i feel.my class is definitely been split into 2 cliques.the guys with the gurls and the gurls with the gurls.only i understand wad i am typing.ha!and somehow,it really makes me wondered why a class that has been together since sec1,seems to be difficult to hang out or even talk to sometimes.its been 4yrs and more that we have come together as a class,wad should i exactly call them?just classmates?literally plain classmates?or should i even call them my friends?i really dunno.why are der still so many backstabbing and talking behind classmates's back?come to think of it, i realised i dun even noe much abt them.hopefully shanghai trip could better understand them.
okay, i must start mugging now.GOOD LUCK!

alone

gee!my prelims are like in 2 weeks time and i'm still procrastinating my time away.i seriously need motivation and help from people now.In 2months time i'll be taking my major exam and i haven begin my revision yet.i've gt loads to catch up with.my amths suck and my teacher's der to help me out but when i understands it,soon i'll jus fergets cuz i din revise.omgs! time is really short.2months of revision til o's come.will i be able to score As? omgs!i need help seriously.2months of endurance,i believe i can bear fruit for my efforts.it must pay off.its only 2months.i tell myself i must get As fer my maths and science.i need all the help i can get by teachers and friends.i really do.pls help.friends, keep up wit the pace,i'll be driving really fast this time round.=))its only 2months. so yea.lets score well in our O levels.no time to play,we're really running out of time so we have to stop procrastinating,seriously.JIAYOU MANS!

finally its done!

its 4.24 am now and i've to go school in like 3 hrs time.hoho. i haven slept for 2 nites straight.man! aint i a real nocturnal?haha. dnt's really killing me.today is the final dateline and i've finally finish it all.but its kinda like last mins work. i dunno if i could score A1 for last min work like that.sigh!my efforts kinda got down the drain... ytd was the dateline but i haven finish my work yet so yea..beg my dumb teacher or extension.dnt really gt me so stressed up that i kinda broke down ytd. its all ur fault mr t!made me so effing pissed with u.anw yea.gtg draw my problem situaions now.=D taha

stressed up!

have a sudden urge to blog again.sigh! i just wanna blog my stress out.been really busy doing my DNT project.its forever dnt that i've to get all stressed up over.my classmates are way in front of me and tomorrow's the dateline.sigh! its tedious doing quality work.today,i skipped school cause i needed to finish up my dnt. i've alr burned my 1 week of school due to my fever,cough,flu,help out in granny's wake after that.i cant even do my dnt for that week at all cuz the table is all occupy with food for cousins to eat,full of clothes and books and besides,i dun even have the bloody mood to do when granny passed away and feeling all so sick and drowsy after the medication.now, doing it so last min really kills.its been a week for sleeping at 3 to 4 almost everynight rushing for my dnt.weekends,i've gt my netball trg and tournament.the tournament alone has alr burned off my whole evening.rush home,bath,eat and stuffs.cousins came and started to talk til like 10!crap!the noise and stuffs,how to do my work.wahlao!! and today i've to skip school for my bloody DNT.FUCKKK!!!!! urgh.!i'm sooo way behind everyone now.=(( tmr's the dateline.i'm so worried i cant finish up my dnt and i haven been consistent in my studies.the whole darn week is dnt dnt dnt!!!AHHHHH!!!!somebody pls help me!sigh...i am left with another 13 hrs to finsih up my dnt.so i shan't take up too much time bloggin now.so yea.feel better blogging my stress.haha.okay!now its time to drive forward again.good luck merina.LOL

She left to a peaceful place,my beloved granny =)

she looked so fine past few days ago.her tender hands were so warm,her eyes were so bright,her systems is still working.but everything seems to go wrong.i can sense that her time is running out.her shitting system goes hay-wired and her inner system reject what she takes in,even water.Her grand daughter tried to psycho her to swallow her food as well as her drinks,however everything was just on the surface of her tongue.And all she does was just nod her head.
for the past three days,her stomach was only filled with acids.she went without food and water.daywin asked for advise but i cant do anything,no one can help even the doctor.this was not the worse scenario.Her faeces kept flowing like river.no matter how many times daywin clean,it just kept flowing.her faeces was no longer brown,it turned to greenish then greenish black.
everyday seeing her,noticing the difference in her physical appearance really kills my heart.she became skinnier.her face got smaller and her eyes lids were so heavy.one glance,you maybe think that she sees life no purpose anymore.she was resting on her bed with her eyes closed all the time.she started to suffer from bed sore due to the heat that transfer to her back bone.my heart really kills.(pain)
then,i asked my dad izzit she only left with days to live?and he nodded.today after school,i got home and looked for food,i had my hungry pangs going.her door was close so i assume daywin was cleaning her up as there were guest in my hse.As my dad mentioned to me she was died.i was shocked,i din expect her to leave so soon.i just asked my dad that question yesterday.yet,she cant even live for days.
she looked exactly the same when how i used to look at her.it seems like she was sleeping.her hands turned icy cold and her body temperature started to drop.i felt nothing while my sister's eyes were swollen.daywin had the greatest impact.uncles and aunties came.sons and daughters of hers cried even my dad.i tot he was strong,but the moment he said his last words for her,he burst into tears.every man cried.i was standin rite beside my dad cryin with him really badly.seeing her leave by the trolley,away from the hse,away from the block and away from us ferever physically.we weaped our hearts out.something is missing now.her presence,her naggings,her advise,her listening ears,her tender loving care,her cookings,her scoldings,her evil mouth,her chasin-after-us-to-stop-runnin-ard-the-table,her presence,her cuteness,her concern-ness.='( i'll miss you granny!i'm glad u left in peace to a better place.U'll always be rmbed til my very last breathe tho u're gone.

MAKE CHANGES HAPPEN

Everywhere you go, you hear people talk about the changes they want to make in their lives.

"I want to lose weight."

"I want a better job."

"I want to make more money."

"I want to make a film."

"I want to write a book".

Maybe for you, it's to travel round the world, to get higher education, or improving a current relationship. We all have goals and changes we want to make and we talk a lot about wanting them, but how many of us really do something?

Sometimes, the talking turns into complaining. Because we accumulate so many wants, but never go about resolving them, we begin to feel dissatisfied. We start to make up excuses why success is not possible. Is it time? Is it money? It's family then, isn't it? We begin to blame other people, we blame events, we blame bad luck, and sometimes we blame ourselves. At the end of the day, this builds up into a massive store of regret.

Besides, these reasons are mostly inventions of fear and laziness. If you look at your excuses critically, how many of them are genuine? People who feel stuck are always saying "I can't afford an hour's workout a day!", or "I'm too forgetful!", or "I'm not a business person!". Basically, this is an admission of one's lack of control over one's life.

If someone gave you a million dollars to run on the treadmill for 20 minutes a day, could you do it? How great is your desire to have a better physique? How much is that worth? Very often, it's not because we can't, it's because we haven't found the motivation.

With the right motivation (and it doesn't have to be money), you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behaviour. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the reasons why you can't make changes happen. Nothing defines you except you yourself. Do you really need that extra cup of coffee? Or that extra mug of beer? What about your quota of three cigarettes a day? Or that new mobile phone? What's really stopping you from being more loving to your partner? Is the romance really fading? Or are you giving more priority to other areas?

Take back your own power and decide to get into action to achieve the results you want.

friday 13

indeed!friday 13 is a very suay day.gawd!i left my shoebag cuz of some beetle flying IN the darn 985bus.wahlao!i was suppose to get down like 3 more stops away but cuz of da dumb beetle,i alight immediately when da door open.And guess wad's da suay thing.i realised something missing until i was at the door of my hse.guess wad! I LEFT MY NEW BALANCE SHOE BAG WITH MY STINKY SHOES IN DA BUS!!!wahlao.and its my fav colour ORANGE luh.crap!i called up for the lost and found hotmail but no one ans.SIAN! den today is da very very first time i drop my phone on the floor like twice.friday 13 is no good day.anw,after sch,cat came over my place to like wait fer emily to reach da bus stop den head to gym.i wanted to go but i have netball trg at 5.30pm so nt.else i'll be tired. ST and SQ came for netball trg with me and it was uber fun but tiring tho.i think cuz we played da full court.usually we only get to play like half the court but der's so many pple came today.cik siti was stricter in her empiring.And today's performance were like suck.i think i did bad.
and today's really weird.i answered this call who i duno who i'm talking to and nv talked to this person before and he jus starts talking and talkin like i knew him.like a stranger who both of us noe common stuffs and this person jus started talking his shit.weird.why would this person actually calls?and this person started his angmoh slangs and all that.today's really weird.and i'm way way tired.so nites.

anw i think this gal is rather cute.haha!

newzealanders.

oh gee!i din expect foreign students to actually visit our school.hahaha.All thanks to bukit batok sec.these students are at the age of 12 to 13.why dun have my age?! hahaha.so they are all kids,some are really pretty and i jus love the way they talk.the accent of their english.hahaha.
ohyah.manli bought me avril lavigne CD as a bday gift!gee.thanks a million.now i can listen to all her musics alr.tahaha.

swammed

I GOT PIG'S LEGS!!






it was on friday.catherine came to my place,studied and headed to medeira to swim.HAH.HAD FUN

oh gee!

i'm bored.so i shall blog.well,mum and sister came back from chu hai and they bought "sibei" loads of stuffs.i think my sister is mad.haha!she bought like 20pairs of shoes,loads of clothes,loads of earrings,belts and all.i'll get more pics up soon.omg!i think i'm da luckiest living thing living on earth.why am i so fortunate?gee!Now i feel kinda guilty for having sooo many pairs of shoes.=( wateva it is.i must study hard and hold a good job in da future and repay my parents all.i wanna be rich in da future!live in a luxerious life.**dreaming...hahah. ohoh.my sister found this quote which i find it rather true "when you keep saying u're busy,u will NV be free,when you keep saying you have no time,then you will Nv have time,when you keep saying you're do it tmr,then your tmr will nv come."-->like so true rite..thats wad i think.haha.okay.i'm telling myself that i'm good in amaths and dnt and da papers are uber easy.so it should be easy and i'm good at both.=D.


ohoh!this is really random,i think AVRIL LAVIGNE'S SONG-when u're gone, is really nice.avril lavigne will always be my fav.hahaha.XDD

been busy.

oh gee!finally i'm back to blog again.haha!i jus have da habit to blog as and when i like.this week i have been busy with my work lately.its like a courier delivery.we have to deliver COLGATE SAMPLES like ard singapore and its literally ard.this job made me realize that i've only been to 1/4 of singapore as in i din really realize that singapore is such a fascinating place.ohoh!wad a singaporean am i.such a disgrace.lol.i think i can be a taxi driver now.All the streets name all that will be raelly familiar to me now.hah!like selegie rd,northbridge rd.those are at city area.ohoh!and at DAVID's BUILDING which is at selegie rd,they sell this really famous bean curb.i haven try it myself.XD and at cross st rd area,which is at chinatown.they sell this chicken pie.its really superb.omg!da ingredients are like mountains.LOL.kinda exaggerating but da pie is really superb.ohoh!its at far east square.i jus recalled.its name is PON.mum bought shepherd pie which it doesnt taste as yummy as da chicken pie.10 out of 10 for chicken pie.LOL.and really.after that job,i must really tour ard singapore now like literally tour ard.haha!All i went is always orchard rd,harbour front,shopping malls and etc.Now its time to explore out of that.haha!and oh!at serene centre which is at bukit timah area,der's this really awesome teh tarik's ice cream.haha!yumy!and mentioning abt teh tarik,it reminds me of something.that is da place where i hurt my feet like hell.it bloody hurts.All because of jason,i wanted to scare him da moment he unlock his car and i was standing at da curb and i din realize that da darn car's door were so low and da moment i open his darn car door.da door cut across my feet and like HELL!it really bloody hurts.ouch!i den went to da back seat and sit inside.i din expect it to hurt so bad that after like 5mins,i started to cry.see how pain it was?i dun usually cry when i got physically hurt like falling on da ground and i.i'm strong!!LOL.den da blood started to bleed under my skin,u can actually sees it flowing like suddenly some purplish colour started to disperse.mian!Now,it hurts a bit only when i touch it.and it'll have like some static kinda feelin on my feet.pls hurry heal back.my feet looks fugly ugly.haha.
Anw,i din realize that panjang blk 328?i cant rmb,der's this Jest'D place which is chinese club i guess.its really weird to have a club at such places.hmm.but wateva.HAHA.well,i'm thru with my job now.hurray!now i'll jus have to wait for my pay.its 3.50per package and der's like 645 dentist.so its like 2000bucks over.WAH!i'm gonna be RICH!lol.as if!!haha.its den split among 5 pple.hmmm.okay!enuff abt that.HAHA.its confidential.HAHA.Now der's so many places i wanna go explore but sadly,tmr sch reopens and shit!i have to let my dad sign my report book.OH EFF!i'm so oo gonna get a reprimand from him again.SIGH!later have to start acting like a good girl so he wont reprimand me taht much.WAHHAHA!okay.enuff said.time to do my dnt now.DNT ROCKS MY WORLD!not! =DD. TIME TO STUDY HARD FOR O LEVELS MERINA!oh gee!i need some boost towards studyin hard for Os.HELP!i need some motivational talks now.yawn.shall end.byebye.

DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE HER?haha!!comments pls.HAAH!

went for my brudder's commissioning today at the SAFTI,today was my brudder's offical day to graduate from the tough training tat he been thru.9months of TORTURE.mentally and physically..Now,wad my brudder has been thru has all paid off.today was da day he become COMMANDO OFFICER.WEE! congrats bru!u made mummy and daddy so uber proub of u.HAHA! will upload da photos real soon.for now,its only all this.haha! and oh,guess wad,i saw chin wen with anthea today attending da commissioning too.i'm like 1 head taller den chinwen.i wondered how come i can get to see him.HAHA!EVIL!!