Progession of my teeth :)

SMILE. :)

Straight lower teeth?

Another shot of my smile. :)

Nice smile? hehe

We cannot deny that the World is superficial and judgemental. We cannot blame for the world to be this way because we can never influence the whole world regardless of how much we tell people not to be judgemental. This is human nature. Even i judge too. Tell me you dun, i would like to meet u. What we can only do is to change ourselves for the better. "if the mountain cannot come to mohd, mohd will go to the mountain"-Ghandi

its been awhile

Its been awhile since i long blogged cuz its been awhile since ive been thinking alot. So i think i shouldnt be neglecting on my many years old blog. haha. Suddenly i started to question myself again. Why do i wana work hard and what am i working hard for? Just to score well and see where i can go? hmm.yea. prolly. i'm still trying very very very hard to keep myself focus. Sometimes you just get yourself distracted when you do not think of your goals. So have to think of it all the time to keep on track. And i realised that i only have 3 papers this time. :) so i expect myself to do well for all 3 papers! yes! its not high expectation. its my aim, and i want to achieve! have to score well. wad im afraid of is my PRCP for the 2nd semester. 12wks man. no worries. i can survive,thats a definitely yes thing. Nothing can get me down! :) you know why? cuz im MERINA. :) and Merina will always be tough! yeayea! :)

JYJY!

and im still waiting for that person to come back to me. its been 3months plus already.why cant u just come back?

sch meetings

My friend damn awesome, she has already plan all out nicely for all our PROJECTS, not jus one but many. and oh, did i tell u that its so creepy cuz no matter which group member who went t draw lots for the ICA presentation, we all gotten as the first group? but well, ive broken the chain and i got what i asked for. The last group. LOL. And i literally jumped for joy. haha! while my whole class so very quiet. lol

And today wen to get my galaxy S phone. the swype is damn awesome. really. but im just too used to using two hands instead. And while i was climbin to my sis's bike, my leg touches the exhaust pipe and rubbed against it. OUCH! freaking painful. but my face was expressionless. i was like "wahlau,fuck. pain, jie, it looks like dirt on my leg rite. ha ha!" zzz. i cant believed i can still laugh. zzz. But it literally looks like fried skin,my skin was torn and black.zzz i think i need lots of VIT C and sunburnt. ohman. der goes my beautiful legs. :(

Wednesday got Nursing lab assessment. Gee.Gona hav to Ace that. it has the highest weightage among the rest of the modules and plus, i think ive screwed 2modules already. Now have t work hard to Ace this assessment and the rest of the presentation. JIAYOU! :)

Past and present

Sometimes i wonder whether issit all worth it. Going thru all the hassles to get my braces done and Jaw surgery in the future when i do not look that bad. I do ponder sometimes. Even before the Jaw surgery and braces, i dun look that bad, i dunhave any funtional problems or issues. im doing this cuz i just wanted to look better. Sigh. But ive already made this decision, a decision that will have a metal hinge in my Jaw for the rest of my life, to have to wear retainers for the rest of my life. i really wonder if ive made the correct decision. Sigh.

Grad nite

Was psycho-ed to go. Time really flies, last year of poly already. Gee! And im gona be an Adult in like a year time. I DUN WANA GROW UP! i still wana be playful and childish as ever! i realised im not as playful as before now, not as crazy and happy as before now. Gee! i need that back.

Sometimes we just forget who we are and what we should be doing. it takes conscious effort to keep on track.

rebonding

Today's sociology paper was crap for me. such disappointment.

Anw, went ahead to do soft rebonding at WM cuz my mom signed up for the package,since its free den just go lorrr. But, they made me buy their shampoo and conditioner at 44$. Gee! If i din go ahead with the rebonding, i'll prolly save up that $44. Ohwell, i duno how my hair will turn out to be since today is the first day of rebonding my virgin wavy hair away. :( im gona miss that. But i tot since my hair will still grow back, aiya, just go ahead with the treament. it took me freaking 4HRS to get this hair done and i was so freaking urgent den but i endured. And the guy says that i cannot wash my hair for two days and cannot tie my hair and go swimming for 2wks! :( ohwell, cant wait for my new hair!new look! KEWLL. haha! And ouh. and my teeth has shift quite a fair bit. Even the bite has changed and i changed my brackets to PINK! but heck, it turned out to be yellow after like a day. :( wthhhh. it de-colourise?? zzz.

thats all amigo. im gone for now. :)

:)

ANYONE WANT A SMOOCH FROM ME?! hehe.

"I cant seem to get you out of my mind"

tapped on my humane side

Holy crap.

Guess wad, this lady went from door t door t sell dried sausages and she's in her 60-70yo. she looks exactly like an auntie tending a stall. i dunno whether she's coning pple or she's really telling the truth but she tapped on the humane side of me. Sympathy and empathy. Gee! i saw her so pityful and i let her. Be it whether she's conning or not, at least she made the afford t go around asking from door t door. My heart melt wen i see Auntie going from door t door t sell her stuffs. but her dried sausauge is expensive. $15 for 1 pack. Mom din want t buy from her but i still gave her $15 from my pocket. Seeing her doing that really kinda heart breaking. And den she says that she cannot take pple's $ and she insist t shaft the dried sausage t me. And den after that she asked t use our house toilet cuz she stomach ache. She insist t let her use the toilet, i wanted t let her in,being the kind and nice human being and my mom can be in the room,staring at her stocks and says NO! wow. its easy for her t say no cuz she wasnt in my shoe t see the Auntie's puppy look. Gee! so i told her mom says no and she says its okay, she'll go downstairs t use the toilet. Alemak. if she's really conning, its really rare t see auntie con. If my mom wasnt around, perhaps i will let her use our toilet. I feel sooo cruel t reject her. Easy for my mom t say no! But anw i'll just treat it as a donation t elderly since its been awhile for doing donation.

but on second thoughts, i feel like following her and seeing what she's really up to and what she says is the truth. But nah.. let other pple do the thing.

Gee!

i realised something, i realised that everyday i look at my blog, looking at what i wana achieve and stuff. i realised that im getting nearer to it each day. Does it shows how powerful the subconcious mind can take u? Say the media kept advertising Nude fashion, nude colour etc etc etc. And somehow, out of no wer, u will decide t go for Nude stuffs. But frankly, i love Nude and brown colour. Natural is still the best. Writing is something that really helps you reflect and recall what you did. its good to write alot cuz it helps you t "dis-cloud" your mind. hurhur. writing helps you t clarify your thoughts basically. writing what you think and feel. :)

And hopefully blogger dun close down in future, cuz if it does, i''ll breakdown and gona have a hard time carrying myself back up.All the years of writing since my teenages years. The journey of growing up. Gee!

CANT WAIT

SO EGGCITEDDD!

Gona go to Italy and Bali this semester break. :) and maybe going to Paris and switerland too. The only thing im looking forward is the fun that we're gona experience. The lifestyle,food,scenary and extremeeeeee sports! Gona go Bali for my open dive course and once pass, if possible, gona go Italy to scuba dive for leisure. Not sure how safe it is but its wad im planning for. If possible, gona go Italy for white water rafting! And hopefully im going to London so i can be doing my Bungee Jumping and SKYDIVINGGGG! :D

WEEEE! ITS GONA BE ONE HELLA AN EXPERIENCE FOR ME IN THS LIFETIME. Really cant wait. meanwhile ive to save up alot of $$ and study hard for my current exams.

My wishes gona come trueeeeee. weeheeeheee. And my dad's wish also gona come true. i bet his more eggcited den i am! he's gona spend 10days in ROME praying and to see all the churches and meeting POPE Benedict. thats what he always wanted.All i want is to experience all the extreme sports that SG dun offer. hmm. Den if confirm going t London, i can look for my friend t hangout. Gee! i felt guilty and bad for not meeting her wen she flew back to SG. Now gona fly her to meet her. :) sorry sam.

so so eggggggggggcitedddddd hahahahahahah!

BORED DAY

BORED DAY.

CUZ ITS

STUDYING DAY! :|

CME :)

This is what we do when we're boreddddddd! hurhur...

pondering

i think trees are the most amazing living thing ive seen. It can still be firm and standing and growing even bigger and stronger despite all the odds of stormy weather,floods and blazing hot sun. Even tho there are a couple of branches fall, still. it is growing bigger and bigger each day. Til the day that it can shelter people, build tree house etc etc.Lets jus exclude the human being cutting down trees for the usefulness of them. i think that is something we all shld learn about.

To challenge the odds.

Gee. loads of pondering of life lately. hurhur.

WHY?! and u got the answer of your question. And now how?! how to get it done? i have to do it but HOW?!

Thats the question of what everyone should or have been seeking,the HOW question.

umpired

Umpired Div 4 game just now. As usual, after the whole of the game, it felt like ive taken a shower in my umpire's attire. If we dun sweat like we've just got pushed into the swimming pool, i dun think we're really umpiring.

And ouh, lucky there is the circle line, finally stadium station is opened. dun have t waste $ on taking bus now. And ive estimated my time, it takes about an hr from my place t KNC, including all the walking and waiting. But it doesnt beat driving a car down. takes only about 30mins++ Gee. im still having thoughts on whether t get a bike. But i dun hav enuff cash yet. Geee. And its so dangerous. But i think i shld be contented with the public transport.Imagine if im in overseas.gee! i think its gona take like a few hours t get somewer!

And ouh, umpired Div 4. And two umpire coaches says "GOOD" :) how awesome. But still have to take note of alot of things. And E. is really enlightening. i think he can really relate and widen my perspective.He given me the frank WHY talk and den today was the HOW talk. thanks E. i really really felt that u relly really enlighten me alot. Not just on umpiring alone but also enlighten me generally. it really really helps me t improve as a person as well.no wonder der's a saying"SPORTS DUN JUST BUILD CHARACTERS,IT REVEALS IT"

"when there is opportunities, grab it and dun wait becuz opportunities are not easy to come by"

head pain. :' (

gee! iv been sleeping with my hair wet almost everyday and now im like having a severe headache. :( sooooo pain. :'(

And i never knew that waking up in the morning to run feels so great! the smell of the morning air. ahhh... energizing. been waking up early in the morning to run to start my day and sleeping early to end my day. it feels great. :) But now im having a severe headache, how to conc on my studies. :(

later got umpiring at KNC. i guess ive really improved alot. i think ive to really thank E. for that major major feedback e other nite. its not easy being an umpire. fitness has to be up and has to be mentally strong. thats wad i FEEL. so! that makes umpiring really challenging. And the more challenging it is, the more i wouldnt wana give up. ouhwell, HEADDDD PAINNNN :(

and do u believe in law of attraction? because i totally believe in it. TOTALLY.

sleek body

Give me a sleek and tone body.

Manage it from the start

Continued on the previous post. i was reading merry riana's blog on her journey of her life. Truely, she is an inspiring woman.

She earn her first million in sales industry selling insurance under prudential when she was only 23. she works really really hard and she said" there is no elevator to success" i believe in that quote. It is never a short cut to success. it always take HARD WORK. And now, she owns her firm life insurance firm called merry riana's organisation. wow. thats really motivating. she's my role model now.

Gotta work really really hard. JIAYOU! :)

inspiring article.

A CREED TO LIVE BY
(Author: Nancyesims)

Don't undermine your worth by comparing
yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each
of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people
deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest
to your heart,
Cling to that as you would your life, for without
them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the
days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over … until the moment
you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less
than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's
impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your Dreams. To be without
dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget
where you've been,
But also know where you're going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
every step of the way.

Taken from Merry Riana's blog. i think she's a really inspiring asian lady who earns her first million when she's 26! Gee. google her

STUDY HARD & PLAY HARD

"Some lessons are better learned through observation, rather than experience. "

hmm.. i should start doing that alot more often.

:)

PHOTOSHOOTS BABEY! :D

pondering on life

When you are young, its only right that you spend your youth wisely and experience everything before you grow old and everything starts to wither. By the time you realised what exactly you want in life, its already too late, it will never be as great when you started younger. it is true that you should follow your dreams and do what you want in life. it is right that you live life just once.

it is right to be hardworking and gain as much as possible out of what you do.

Live life wisely. There's still so much more to explore in this universe. Life is indeed short. A blink of an eye, 20years of my life has pass..i should have gone for what i wanted and stick to it but i wasnt sure if that is what i wanted, to excel in sports. i really regretted not doing it earlier..wen u're young , u really have no idea what you want in life. no wonder kids have to be pushed all the time.i couldnt let my life go just like that again..

:)

I miss you actually,if you know who you are.

When there is no one else, there is you.

National YEC 2010 race!

My mascot wore the inside as the outside. lol! Joke of the day. No wonder he can sweat so much faster!. haha! But well done JM.! u did an excellent job. :) but i dunno why my mascot ended up without a mouth. zzz. and i dunno why my mascot T-shirt so tight fitting.And my mascot was supposed to be FAT! come to think of it! But ohwell, everyone still loves the mascot. :)

Thats all i have for the event. The rest of the photos are with the photographer and the committee.

Today was 1 hell of a day for me.

The moment i reached the destination, i saw pple wearing the T-shirt designed by my friend S. i felt really happy and proud of her. i was secretly smiling once going to the registration area. And the whole committee has only 1 goal, which is to make this whole event a success! And apparently it did! Just abit of hiccups here and there. Everyone was very friendly, helpful and cooperative. :) Thats wad it shld be. Its so much easier wen everyone has the same goal. You help one another.

Woke up at 530.FYI. i spent a total of 12hrs at the event to help out. M. i want my CIP hours hor! ha ha!

Reached at 715, was alot clueless on what to do cuz my PR side was to jus design what was given. I am proud of my designer friend S. afterall, design student still noes better.ohwell. Even the simplest design for the cert, i cannot even do properly. how am i even supposed to do the photography backdrop? it would be a disaster! But i was quite disappointed in myself cuz I FAILLED!

i failed to finish what i was given. I failed to do it and give it my best. it would not happen again. i promise!

So den, my mascot finally arrived! i was totally so proud and ecstatic cuz everyone loves my mascot. awww! that was the very moment that $ cannot buy. the moment of satisfaction and fulfillment. You may think that its so easy to just come up with an animal. But trust me, wen you are really doing it. i was really clueless! clueless! which animal? which exactly? shld i choose this? shld i choose that? no, it doesnt reflect on the environment, i cant jus choose this cuz i like it. the mascot has t be chosen for a meaning. ahh. stressed! it was so hard to make a decision. Den, have to think about the shirt, what colour it shld be, dark green?light green?brown?blue?dark blue? but its not suitable,hmm. Think dark green still reflects best on the environment. :)

Help here and there, ended up, taking care of my mascot the whole day. fun fun!

Cant wait for the pictures to be up.

So we packed up after and headed home. Took the train back and i was standing cuz its so packed.suddenly this stupid ahlian malay baby dropped the bottle of wadeva black syrup inside on the floor and it spilled onto my leg. nb. i have t scold vulgarities. fuck man. SO PISSED OFF! urgh! its like so sticky! bldyhell.so i turned around and ask them for tissue papers and they say dunhave. nb. even more pissed off, instantly my face got so black and blood rushes up to my face. i can feel the heat. it felt like at any moment i can jus stab them. thats how mad i was. urghh! so pissed! i wanted to quarrel with them in the train but apparently my brain function slightly slower until like few mins later. waahhh. ta boleh tahan sia! stupid malay mom. urgh!Best still, there are indian kids infront of me playing with eachother. bldyhell, stepped on my topshop shoe! nb. not just once but many times. urgh! wads with today man! after that took the train at JE,wahh. i was sitted next t this TYPICAL indian man, wahhhh. the odor is O.M.G. ur respiratory system can instantly tell ur brain to STOP BREATHING. wads with today man seriously.

Lastly, mom complaint t dad about her meds and i asked her wad happened. she said i told her t take double dose of antibiotic. O.M.G! i tot i saw 2 tabs! but it was 2 times! wahhh. my eyes playing tricks.prolly i was too tired den. crap! luckily nth happened to her and no wonder for the past few days she had headache. that was the SE. wahh. i am deem t b punished. wth la merina! own mom also can be so careless. deem to be scolded too.

Tell me, isnt this 1 hella day for me?And i cant sleep yet, need to study. Tim sms me t go club. crazyy mannnnn. Tmr still need t meet my friend t celebrate bday,mon meeting another friend t catch up. wahh. i will nv change. Busy and hardworking as a bee!

KEEP FIGHTING MERINA!

:)

"It will never be a easy journey to achieve your goals, never will"

pondering

is it normal to have second thoughts about what you are about to do? i am having seconds thoughts on going to do Jaw surgery to correct my jaw misalignment,however its only just a slight misalignment but i cannot turn back now. Since ive decided, ive to stick to it. Besides the orthodontist has already extracted two of my teeth. Sigh. am i making the right decision to even go for the Jaw surgery? And i suddenly realized that why my orthodontist pluck out 2 of my teeth?! Shldnt he jus pluck 1 out since he is just gona pull my other teeth in line?y must pluck the other? Gee! It is all worth the pain for what i want? Gee..

what u want out of your live?

"Study the past, live the present and plan for the future."

Some people pissed me off today! urgh.

suprised.

Dad says that dun expect so much from people cuz at the end of the day, what you get in return is disappointment.

ohwell. i have to agree to that. And my poly friends actually gave me my bday PREZZIE! awww. so sweet of them and they did the card during lectures. awww. becuz of me they din listen to lectures. hmm. that was a suprised! THANKS BABES! :)

And ouh. Gona thanks my bffs and their boyfriends who celebrated my bday. me footing the bill was unexpected mann. thats so not the tradition lorrr. ohwell.. but thanks for the effort and the gift. :) cant believed we've been friends for 7years already? we must continue t contact until we attend each other's wedding oh. :)

how to get to my goal?

Umpired tonite's Div 6 game, E. said that ive improved. :D

Gotta continue t keep practicing and learn from the Best. Indeed its about the journey, not exactly the destination yet. Its not easy getting to the destination but thats wad u want, so u gona stay focus and fight it hard. Humans are judgmental and im guilty of that,however ive been learning not to judge but to understand what made them be this way. u get scoldings, u get backstabbing, u get criticizing, u get people complaining about u. u get people judging you that you're hopeless. But who cares. really, at the end of the day, u got to know what exactly u want, what exactly is your goal. Be it if people are faster. so what?! at the end of the day, you still get what you want, just that u're slower. but really SO WAD? i guess im beginning to understand what it takes to get to your goal. ive to stick to these and finish up what i intend for since ive decided to get it started, i shld finish it. Thats my principle of life.

And today, ive got a friend who said this: enjoy now, you dunno wen u're gona die, what if u die tmr?"

i wasnt really pondering over this qn cuz i say that wad if god wants you to continue to live until u're old and withered? If i were to die tmr, it means that im a god damn kind person that god decided to take me back with him. As far as possible, i wana live for a meaning and not give in to temptations.

Til date, my long term goal is still stuck in my head, thinking..all the time and how am i gona get there.

i dun love $, ive got a goal, or rather many goals and tat requires me t have $$.

i jus wana retire in Australia or somewer that is paradise! i wana own a horse stable and let handicapped kids to ride horses! i wana be in paradise. And how the hell do i get there? no $ no paradise! i wana scuba dive everyday, i wana be financially free so that i can travel werever i want, explore this whole EARTH that god has created and help the kids in poorer countries. Am i born to do all that?

ohwell, just letting my thoughts run thru to get me back on track, on my goal.

til den. :)

months of effort gone down to drainn

"Only eat in MODERATION"

VEGETS,PROTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PRTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PRTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PROTEIN AND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

VEGETS,PROTEIN aND FRUITS,EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE.

its always easy for temptation to get u and its always hard to control.

MODERATION!

easily satisfied

Hmm. even tho i still think that my 20th bday is a pathetic 1, however. Just that little click on FB and type HAPPY BDAY MERINA! really makes my day. thats how much it can make merina happy. :) Easily satisfied.

But ive to say its really sweet to see friends spamming my fb with happy bday wishes. If only all of them spam me with bday GIFTS, wouldnt that be even more AWESOME? hmm. 21st 21st! hei hei! ALRITEY. ive alr spent almost a week wasting my time, ive got like unfinished work t be done. no more for chillax session. its overrrr! BACK T WORK! FOCUS TIME NOW.

:)

"People can say all they want, but those who do not listen and do what they think is right

its RESPECTABLE"

hit the club

Ytd went t club, impromptu decision, celebrated with some friends and they're damn nice luh. Really made my day.Got in rebel for free and drunk shots like fuck. Friend paid like fuck. But ohwell, it was a nasty nite for him. He lost his bldy iphone luh. Gee. Den made friends with this 2 funny boys. ha ha.

But apparently some decided to ditch on my bday. DITCH ON MY BDAY MAN. fuck.

i duno what to say. so disappointing. hai. So party like hell ytd and reached home at 5, woke up at 730 t prepare t head t sch. apparently i wasnt wasted ytd. GOOD JOBB. :) and now im here blogging.

Ytd was a toast t my pathetic and sad 20th bday. nvm. i chose t let it be that way. thats soooo not gona happen for my freaking 21st!

And also, im damn disappointed and angry at the same time! my goal is t lose weight and by right i shld continue t lose or jus maintain my weight but recently i jus din have t discipline to control what i eat. i literally OVEREAT. thinking that oh, it wont kill, it wont kill. but apparently, it kills! shittt. now ive to go on an excessive low-carbo and liquid diet + excessive and tons of freaking exercise regime. IM SO DISAPPOINTED with my actions. CRAP! time to recover and control man merina. two days of social drinking. crazyyyyyy luh. i need t put a stop already. no more clubbing,or mayb no more drinking. :)

adios.

pathetic 20th bday. its okay. cuz thats wads ive intended for.

gona make my 21st a blast.thats what i will want to intend for.

Side-track from yesterday til today.

A word t describe

"SHIT"

billionaire live acoustic

SWEET! :)

Its not about the destination, its about the journey

For that split second, that very moment, you just feel so frustrated with life and think that why are other people so much more fortunate.

BUT

Look at the bright side, im going 20 soon, which i still have a long way to go..long way to create your own life.

so..carry on living and live life to the fullest!

I think im sick. :'(

i think im sick. ;'(

i kept wanting t sneeze, but i cant, its so itchy. :(

My throat seems to have phlegm. Thanks to my impulsive action of eating chilli paste like kaya paste in my bread! :'( i literally took a spoon filled and spread on my sandwich and eat it, more den once. Best thing, its not hot to me. Im the chilli queen. hah! But thanks to that, im sick now. :(

thinking

hmm. my bday is just 1 more week and im wondering whose gona celebrate my bday, and i wonder who will remembers my bday. Have you ever have a tot about who will rmb ur bday?its curious to have anonymous hp no. wishing u happy bday, its curious t have pple wishing u on fb, but who exactly? hmm. sometimes u just want that particular person t call or text u or even ask u out or give u gifts. Tho u verbalize and says that its jus the 20th bday, but deep inside, u will wonder tho. Gee. And i am wondering if that person will do all that. Sigh. ohwell. i hope that person does tho 99% chance i doubt he will...

Ohwell, anyway im working on my bday too. So i guess it doesnt matter. Morning 9am having some YOG talk, den 2-10pm working at Woodlands Clarins. Gee. Next day working at wisma morning shift. ohwell. And im gona have a pre-assessment this wed for C-badge. Pls pls hope that the assessors will say that im ready for the actual test. Pls pls!

OKAYY! Enuff of thinking, TIME TO RESEARCH FOR MY FYP!!!!!!!

ADIOS!

;)

COMPARE KIDS IN THE PAST AND NOW

:D

BOREDOM

I LOOK LIKE SHIT! BUT NVM! ITS ONLY FOR TEMPORARY! AND I THINK MY TOOTH HAS SHIFT!

Braces make me SWALLOW and Gabble all the food down and have huge craving for fatty food and supper and CARBO! shittt. time to draw back. i dun wana go back to the old FATTY me! im happy with the slim me nowwwww

Just now went for the RULES in ACTIONS at KNC. wow. i tot i was prepared and well-equipt. but the moment E. bomb us with scenarios, we were totally blank. Gee! need loads of reading up of "bible" now. C badge, just so you wait, im so coming to get U!

PHOTOSHOOTS! :D

(EDITED VERSION)

umpired

Wee! went to umpired Division 4 netball game and im pretty satisfied with the way i umpired. i tried my best already. But what matters most is that the players are happy and im happy. i think thats wads most impt! hmm. keeping my plan all checked. And my netball friend V. is damn nice! she bought me organiser sia! which cost 6.9$ zzz. she must be rich. she knew my organiser is more like mess-aniser.hah! so yea. and my friend sent me to the bus stop with her bike. SHIOK.

Overall, hopefully i can get badged! C BADGED! im coming to get you. And K. was tellin me to join Aciers for trg, every wed evening til 10pm. hmm. not so much of commitment tho. just 1 day of the wk. Shld be fine. But if thats e case, i cannot go club on WED! miannn.

And lastly, i did some photoshoots at Capella, managed to convince my photographer to shoot der. phew! Overall shoot was an enjoyable, fun and satisfying. im happy with the shoots tho. i even sacrifices my maxi dress for creative shots mannn. Cant wait for him to send me the photoshoots! :)

PISSED

ive been thinking alot lately, and everytime i do and i need someone t listen, there u are blog, always der for me ALL THE TIME. okay fine, since my sister insist to have just a brother den fine! i dun need a sister anyways. And she's always old enuff, why does she wana bother about who i went out with. And she bothers, she shld show more care and concern.Apparently, she dun bother. so why stalking? FUCK THE SHIT OFF!

and i know what i want, i know what i am doing. i just wana hang around and explore the world more. i dun wana just study and be ignorant of the world. its still not enuff. People do say this and that, but you just wana experience to see if its the truth. you will not believe until you try it do you. it all applies to every single person damn it! we're nt communicating and its my fault? someone gotta do smth about it but definitely not me! im so dead sure of what i am doing and i'll promise myself that i'm gona have alot richer and better life that she is! just so that she doesnt start burdening me! WHY DO I EVEN HAVE THAT SORT OF SISTER?! i think she's gona be a bad mom! urgh! pissed!

ponderingt

Hmm. i'm still pondering if i should get the floral top from topshop and the knitted dress. Ive tot of getting the tregging too. Gee. But its alittle too expensive. Knitted dress is already 119, floral top 69$ and the tregging is like 69$? And tats e charles and keith's heels. Damn SEX! i think its about 71$ or smth. Gee. Total up will be 328$?! Gee! :( i dun think i can get the clothes. Sigh. now that ive got an extra things to pay, my braces. 4.6K man. Each mth ive to pay for my insurance and my braces. Minus-ing off 50% of my allowance. If i were to buy, i left like 15% of my allowance and ive to use the previous mth's savings to pay for my necessity. sigh, ohwell, i guess i cannot afford buying Topshop clothes, its too expensive.I need to find another job. But my face like crap, Shit man. FACE OH FACE! FASTER HEALLLLL!!!i need you to earn $ for meeee!!!!!! my bank account is depleting like shit. i left like 50% to pay for my braces. some pple are so much fortunate than i am, can be so carefree, dun have to think about anything but ive to think abt $,man.. $ problem. always $. Guess i haven been thinking about it for awhile.

Photo-taking backdrop

i was brain stuck for a couple of days before i managed to come up with the concept of a city,YOUTHFUL AND COLOURFUL. however i dun think the design im able to do is that YET. anw its just the 1st draft. will do more improvement on it. The one which has colour background is taken from the internet and i just changed the background. dun think its good enuff.

Comment pple! do you think u'll wanna take photo with it?zzz

so pissed!

Things are starting to heat up more when i run thru the whole incident of my sis over and over again. Ytd wen out with my malay guyfriend. he's just my secondary school friend and he needed to talk about his probs with me and stuff. And so happened that my sis caught both of us coming home late on a bike. zzz. She actually hide behind the wall to see what we are up to. What sort of sister is that? a sister that do not trust her own sister. like WTH? Everyone says that she cares, but seriously, i think i see things alot more clearer than anybody does. the thing is that SHE DOES NOT TRUST ME! if she really cares, i can sense that. the care she gives is different. she's just the sort of person that distrust others and wants to find out more about wat the heck they are doing. she said that "ur boyfriends are getting from bad to worse and y are u even hanging out with a malay?" gee! i really feel for my malay friend. she also said"u'll be a burden to me in the future." cousin said:" oh, its just money issue afterall"

wth la. i'll be a burden? damn it! sees who is really burdening who. wen ur 12 yo husband dies, dun burden me,make sure u burden ur own kids but not me! i will never be a BURDEN to anyone! and afterall, if its due to money issue, freak man, i'm gona get an oldman to be my boyfriend, a sugardad and i'll be their mistress and makes sure that he gives me loads of $ to throw at my sis's face! damn it!

If my sis really care, she'll have the time to talk to me. But seriously, i dun think my cousin can really see the whole picture. she's just being distrusting. she dun trust me, fancy telling pple that "she's my sister" its such a great shame to be her sister. i wouldnt want a sister like her who do not trust my decision-making. DAMN! so freaking pissed!

i hope i dun have t attend her dumb stupid wedding.

And the best thing is taht she's making the mistake her own. she's with a 12yo man! y? becuz he's finacially stable and he treats her well and oh. of cuz he is financially well, he's afterall past the age of crisis already, ready for another marriage. zzz im only 19,going 20 man. i noe what i am doing! All she has to do is not sneak behind my butt and asking shit! if she really cares, she shld spend her stupid time on facebook, talking to me. i think that is truly caring. Else just FUCK IT. GET OFF MY LIFE! u're no longer a threat to me.

no worries, i'll make sure i'll do GOD DAMN WELL in life so that i will NOT BURDEN HER! prolly, NEVER! she better not burden me.

braces on!Gee

Gee, finally i got my braces on! But the orthodonist were saying that i have to take solid food for at least a week.Gee! i tried biting papaya and its so painful! i cant even bite the papaya properly. gee! Ytd tried eating sushi! but apparently, im more like chewing and swallowing it. And i think 1/4 of the rice of the sushi is either stuck or hidden at the back of my teeth. WAHLAOOO.

i have to gurgle to get the food out.

And my brother is really funny. he said" mei, wen you cme home, you have to bath and take out contact lenses, now you have to brush your braces.." zzz thanks luh. Not only tat. After bath still have to do skin care at nite. gee! tahts alot to manage you noe. Not bad, i can managed. :D

Later gona go clubbing with Elaine babe! WEEE. so long nv meet her up alreadyy.

Til den. :)

Absolutely glad!

Check that out. NYEC gona use the mascot i created for the next few years. :) indeed it is an opportunity for me. im really glad that i stayed on and finish what i have to. *pat myself on my back.

anw, im really proud that our project is in good progress. Absolutely detailed. but not sure 20mins is really enuff. *another pat on my back.

Anw i came up with the mascot write up to represent NYEC.- mascot write up

This Mascot is a polar bear. I chose polar bear is because polar bears suffer the most from the climate changes that we people created. It is due to all the pollutions from human activities and partly causing global warming. Though we suffer too, from the blazing sun. But polar bears have to suffer from the cause the most. Global warming threatens the polar bear by permanently damaging its Arctic habitat. We created more heat and causing the ice cap to melt. We are beginning to slowly destroying the home of other creatures. Therefore, using the polar bear as our mascot signifies the gambit to intensify climate change hysteria.

The mascot will be called Ice/Icy

The mascot will be made wearing just a shirt with the association logo. It’s to represent the association and allow the public to know that we are trying to save the Earth. It will also be a standing polar bear so it will look cuter and able to walk about. It should be standing tall, big and fat.

Keep it up Merina! keep fighting to see wer your potentials can really take you. :)JIAYOU!

TO YOU AND JUST YOU

What are you trying to pull off this time? i fb-ed you and obviously you have read the msg becuz u can still play FB games.

And you said you will reply to me for what i hv blogged. why when i blogged my extreme feelings for you, i cannot nth from you. no replies at all. what are you pulling off?

TELL ME!

before i go mental!

BUSY!

So busyyy! week 4 i got so many school thing due on that week! GAWD! 2 ICA ppt, 2 assessment skills, 1 FYP ppt! wk5 is to hand in the critics of the FYP journal. wk11 gona have 3 major examinations. Den wk 17-20 got YOG. wahh. Den wk 20-21 got another 3 major exams! gee! so busy! Gona fight and focus hard to score GPA 3.8! JIAYOU grp members and jiayou to myself too! i got totally no time for conflicts and shit in class anymore.