Thou shall not be poor. Thou shall be a rich

article of employee abuse

2012-01-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

Employee abuse in the workplace is emotional and psychological abuse not covered by law and occurs among employees, managers, and customers.

Examples of Employee Abuse

This type of verbal and emotional abuse includes put-downs, bullying, intimidation, harassment, shame, coercion, exerting values of power, being overworked to extreme, lying, condescension, creating feelings of powerlessness, being made to feel insignificant or inferior, excessive demands of perfection, inconsistent application of practices, not providing employees sufficient information to perform, depriving of rights/ benefits, inappropriate nonverbal behaviors, ignoring, belittling, talking down to another, making judgments, setting up situations for failure, and double binds.

Employee abuse occurs among employees, managers, and customers.

Why People Act Abusively

Reasons people act abusively include to protect themselves, to get their portion, to manipulate, to intimidate, to defend themselves, to maintain their territory, for revenge, having a mental health disorder, acting out, control, fear, modeling from the organization, feeling threatened, insecurity, acting the only way they know how to act, habit, feeling devalued, feeling trapped, being in a culture that condones abuse, anger, impatience, using abuse to achieve results, lack of social skills, having been treated like an object themselves, not having developed the ability to empathize, and viewing others as a means to an end.

How Recipients of Abuse Feel and Act

Recipients of employee abuse may feel harassed, insecure, intimidated, protective, rebellious, devalued, suspicious, uncomfortable, withdrawn, embarrassed, trapped, hurt, worthless, unappreciated, exploited, powerless, angry/furious, revengeful, unacknowledged, hopeless, oppressed, lack of motivation, fearful, and inadequate.

Recipients of abuse may have a variety of behaviors or reactions such as the following:

• If an employee, manager, or customer abuses an employee, that employee’s reactions may include desire to retaliate, absenteeism, withdrawing, and low productivity.

• If an employee abuses a manager, the manager’s reactions may include labeling the employee as a troublemaker, taking disciplinary action, or believing the employee is trying to make the manager look bad.

• If an employee or manager abuses a customer, the customer’s reactions may include desire to retaliate, leaving, asking to see an upper level manager, and filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.

Costs and Consequences of Employee Abuse

Costs or consequences of abuse can affect everyone involved. Consequences to the organization may include absenteeism, turnover, retraining, replacement, inefficiency, low morale, disruption, lawsuits, and lower productivity. Consequences to the recipient of abuse may include low self-esteem, loss of sense of belonging, and lower productivity. Consequences to the abuser may include lawsuits, time for meetings to resolve conflicts, and potential loss of friends. If an organization ignores abuse, expects that the abuse may escalate or spread, and/or employees may take sides.

i will always love you in my heart

2012-01-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

You taught me alot when we're in a r/s, you're my everything. but apparently, i had to leave you for awhile.. or prolly long while. i duno. i nd to readjust my life again cuz honestly speaking, i do get influence with people opinions easily. thats why people says im gullible la! im a stupid gullible girl who thinks shes not which end up people thinkin that i am stubborn. i am learning to stand up for myself and not getting influence of what people says. i learnt something new as well.

"people can say wadeva they wana say, just listen and make the decision you feel comfortable with, afterall its my life, not theirs" i must always seek for second opinion.. people judge others so easily and how can they based on their judgement and think that they are right. Well, i guess that's human beings rite. human being judge one another. even i judge too, even i stereotype people too. ok. im guilty of that.

what i lack is being firm! that is what i honestly have to agree with people.i am not firm, i am a soft hearted, stupid,gullible,stubborn girl. OR maybe can say that i am kind,caring,loving and thoughtful person who tries to be firm for sm reasons which she doesnt tell. i yearn to go back with you but for some reasons, i chose not to. And i still love you.

terrorised

2012-01-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

Why does stupid things happened? i felt like crap honestly. but Mr chang said something that i will ever and forever remember, you cause your own death. i will never and forever forget about it. now for that, i will always rmb. And Benedick says :learn from the best. after so much have happened, i think i have developed inferior complex, my balls can strink when i see the director of nursing, if dun behave, she can jus strip me off immediately. i was literally having the adreneline rush.

nursing is a job where you have to be very careful or not careless. after that hard incident, it really taught me alot. the NC,staff nurses and everyone that scolds,nag and do wadeva is for the pt's safety, some idiots may hold some grudges against me but i dun care, so long i do my job properly. shits does happen when you are not careful,not being meticulous about it.

indeed i was trying to run out of nursing, my heart all along wasnt with nursing.. i wana do the jaw surgery and get out. but apparently, things have gone different and things aint really going as planned. i was supposed to plan for the probation to end, den go for HL. but now i have to push everything back cuz of that shit incident, the carelessness of my work really got me killed. i killed myself.. already feeling very bad about it, dun rub it in please. for these past 3mths, i had to stick my foot in my mouth so long i can pass this 3mths.. tolerate all the shit people give me, taking in all the attitudes people show, jus so i do not get any stupid complaints. i wana talk and be friendly to people but i cant for now, have to lie low. shut up and follow and do my work meticulously with puny pay. need to relly focus on my job. i dunwana think about anything else yet. This jeopardy that i am facing right now can cause my future, so i decided to postpone it. director of nursing has spoken. so no choice.

its only normal that my balls will strink rite, cuz she's the one that decides if you stay or go, who wouldnt have balls strinking rite? i hope its jus normal for reacting to the situation but not cuz i developed inferior complex, or mayb i do. i duno. always have mixed feelings all the time.

i must forever rmb about the incident so it pushes me to do my work properly. i honestly felt the care and concern from the NCs, i was really touched that all the NCs support me... that is the heart that felt. but for the rational side.. i duno why do they wana help me so much.

And i duno why i have friends and my family around yet i felt like i have no one to talk to about my problems but actually i do. why do i wana keep it to myself and solve it myself? issit becuz i am such a prideful person or what? hmmm.. there is something not right. maybe cuz i dun wana disappoint and worry them and make them feel like im a problem person. that is the likely reason im feeling.i have alot to think about. 22 is not young. And why does she wana observe me for another 6mths? its damn long! i am history already! even in NYP-history!

looks can fade but brains will not.

2012-01-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

i swam like i think i would and i made it! :D

2011-11-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

ohya ohya! cannot forget about this little acheivement i had too. i cant believe that i actually could swim freestyle in laps! at the start, (the initial as mention in the physics law, requires more effort and its always the tougher part to overcome but after the initial, things will go more smoother) it was pretty tough, i cldnt take it that i cldnt swim like how the other swimmers do! swimming in laps, so i seek for help and i recieved really great tips and advises. at the start when you tried what they said, it doesnt make sense and it seem like the person is talking crap. but apparently, its not. it worked! so happy with myself. i used to pant like a dog after jus swimming half lap okay, i was pathetically shit. so i guess practice makes perfect dun they? its a walk a talk pharse. ;) now i achieved to swim 15laps in an hr. my biggest achievement alr! with the fact that i pant like shit after half a lap or mayb even 1/4 lap.

"its the hands that control your swim"

now i wana learn how to do butterfly. gona look for people who knows to teach me how. :)

"All i need is hope,confidence and support from others, when people doubt my ability, i doubt my own capablities as well.. thats how i am i guess. "

xoxo my dear people. :)

Life being an adult now.

2011-11-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

After hitting the legal age of 21,an official age which you can make your own decision like an adult, life after that was rather rough, especially when you step into the coperate world, i feel that i am a rather different person now. i feel that i am being more sensible,mature and knowing when and what to do things at the right time and situation. reflecting back on my previous self, i was always doing things at the wrong time and situation. my priorities was always not right and i guess my dad was really pissed off by me. he scolds me all the time. i feel that i was pretty playful den and i din really help out much in the family, all i was thinking was to improve on my daily self and reflect on each day,apparently i neglected the most important thing, FAMILY. i think i have grown more sensible after my sis and my bro is not around, the responsibility of taking care of the house and my parents has weigh on my shoulders now so i had to do what i have to. my parents aint getting any younger either, having them complaining about their condition pains me all the time. it left me reminded that i have to take really good care of them so at least when they are not around anymore, i will let them leave with no regrets in my heart. :) that pushes me to take care of them even more and try my best to not anger them and relief their worries for me. ( supposingly the most insensible one) tsk!

okok, kinda side track. so mentioning about the corporate world, those previous posts were saying how dreadful work can be, i realised it really boils down to how you look at things and how you wanna handle and take it. those months has really made me figure out what sort of person i am and what my learning curve is like. there were so many things to learn den and everyone expects you to learn fast and when you dun, they get really pissed. sometimes it made me figure out what made them react differently from me to others and why others can learn faster den me and stuff? i den realised that i was pretty task-oriented and i forget that people has feelings too. when i was task-oriented, i forgt to be people oriented as well. its true that my jobscope has to be really people-oriented, it taught me the power of it. people will really close an eye and help tho. i guess i was too harsh at the start cuz the top were giving me alot of stress,i should have used people skills den task skills instead.Also, it taught me that i must humble myself down too.i wasnt humble and that giving those people a whole load of stress. tsk! felt bad! there were no communications done much as well. it was after everything was done den i started voicing out, things were pretty kinda late den. ohwell. And its great that things are getting better now, its smoother like out of the blue. prolly i decided to look at things in a different light and treating people like people again. tsk. i am feeling really really nasty inside. :( sorry man people that i was kinda an ass. haha. "people are creatures of emotions and i should respect that" Dun ever underestimate the power of emotions! thats how beggers and sales people manipulate the emotions of human being unknowingly..

Nursing is really a great job, the sense of satifaction,worth and happiness for helping people and making sure that the people are healed under the nursing care of ours. However, the $ is too little for me, i am seeking for more $. ambitious side of me just cant sit on that little $ and i want to learn about the business aspect of the world. be it advertising, marketing, sales, finance etc. my interest and heart has been seeking to that direction all the time recently. like machiam a calling siak! hahah. cant blame, surrounded with too many business pple. And also, i wana wear nice outfits to work too! can showcase my style. nursing only can showcase the uniform. no uniqueness at all. i guess ive made up my mind. im gona head to the business direction and wana know why? today i flipped the HER WORLD MAGAZINE, i saw the status of the woman and the way they were dressed, i told myself, i wana be like that. so yea.

This lengthy posting is to recuperate the MIA of my posts which i shld be bloggin in!tsk.

"The outside world is another learning process which school do not teach."

another humble learning. what lee ky says is true, "its a life-long learning process" til the day we die. the last few words is by me. tsk! cheerios all. ;)

imma loving it.

2011-11-14T00:07:00.000+08:00

My hair was severely damaged by the digital perm that i did in m'sia! And i needed some help to restore my hair condition again. so guess wad, there was this sales person that sold me Jbeverlyhills hair product and i was pretty skeptical about the product as i NEVER CAME ACROSS before but she was saying it will really help with my hair condition to a soft and sleeky feel.so i just gave it a try, at a moment of desperation to save my hair! so i bought a shampoo, largest bottle of conditioner,serum (all platinum line) and iden hair mask which cost me like 162bucks. i bought it at a fair which is slightly cheaper den the store. soooooooo. i head home and started using the product immediately like a despo that needed to save my hair! And guess wadddddddd. the product is freaking GOOOOODDD imma telling you. my hair is really so much softer now and i think ive fallen for the product already. omg! good recommandation seriously. :) rate 4/5. e 1/5 will be after long use den will see if it will be a 5/5. haha! awesome product. made a right choice and investment. ;)

life's not all sunshine and rainbows.

2011-08-25T03:23:00.000+08:00

Lets just face it,

The world is cruel,

The world is never kind.

its a matter of how hard you get up and fight again when you get hit soooo bad and so hard.

Life is hard, real hard, incredibly hard.

Nothing is free and nothing easy

you failed a hundred times more often then you win and nobody is handing you anything.

Wana more than you have now? Prove it.

We all wana win, run faster, dream bigger and better than now.

prove it to yourself, do it for yourself.

Never give in, never give in, never give in and never give up. Never be defeated and surrender.You know what you want, go get it.

Inch by inch, play by play, til we finished.we're in hell. trust me.

we can stay or kick out of this, OR we can fight back and climb out of hell.

One inch at a time, back to light.

Being perfect,live the best you can and do the best you can.

The world aint all sunshine and rainbows,its a very mean and nasty place that no matter how tough you are,it will beat you til your knees and keep it permanently down if you let it. You'll be a nobody,gona hit as hard as life,but it aint how hard you hit it,its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,how much you can take, and keep moving forward!know if you know what you're worth.. then go out and get what you're worth ... and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody, COWARDS DO THAT.. AND THAT AINT YOU.. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujMP41Rphzc&feature=related

All those quotes are taken from youtube videos. Life is indeed hard, lets just stop complaining and whining, need to start taking charge of my life now. i've saw the light, finally.. dream bigger and make your worth,worth it!

work is indeed tough for me, but from now on, i will not let it.

My job

2011-08-15T02:24:00.000+08:00

As the days passes, you'll be mould into something that you will be when you spend alot of times onto it, and can you imagine when you do not have something to fall back on, you tend to get influenced and changed, just to fit into the industry. its stupid but that is how things work. Welcome to the coporate world where any single adult will be dreading and talking about how shitty is the corporate world and thinking of being their own boss and not being screwed by other people. I think everyone has the same thinking as everyone else. Who doesnt wanna be their own boss. Now i miss studying life. You can be your own boss and manage your own way of studying and met your goals. But HAHA! im in corporate world now. the dreadful side of being a human. Sigh. that is what every adult will be going through. Every tom, dick harry wants to make big but can they? where is the motivation? SHARKS! i lost mine to be frank. ive been lazing all day long. sharks! i shouldnt be doing that. the most successful person alive is those who are hard working and wise! it all boils down to ATTITUDE. ok. this year's belated resolutions is.......

MOTIVATE, DISCIPLINE, WORK HARD BY PRESERVER, AND NEVER GIVE UP.

who cares man, just a rejection, its gona make me fall? FUCK SHIT, that shows that im weak!

my brain is dead

2011-08-15T02:05:00.000+08:00

I think im having brain dead soon. All i want to do is relax and nothing else. That is bad because when i was younger, i am much driven and motivated. But as you start to grown, when you do not get the right mentor or right guidance, you lost your path and you lost your motivations. My brother is totally right, nursing are people who are stupid, only stupid people will work in such industry. The day i chose my path as a nurse, im totally screwed, my brain is totally dead. the people i met are different now. ive changed to someone very laid back. very very! Which i do not like. i do not like nursing. But also, nursing is a very good place to train up my working skills with people. i get to see all sorts of people and how they come up with shit excuses to get away with their work not done. Excuses many, that is something they are good at. i do not want my brain to die so early. im only 21. Whenever i do things fast, they stop and slow me down. Now my pace is so slow but sometimes i do tend to go fast but they slowed me down again. sigh. i want to know my sister's point of view so i can climb the ladder faster. im not being on track with my objective. im not stress anymore. Which is bad. i hate that. im no longer stress and it sucked! it means the motivation drive is gone. im nothing now. sucks ! im lost! oh lord, please help me!

soar

2011-08-12T01:52:00.000+08:00

When they push, when they pull
Tell me can you hold on
When they say you should change
Can you lift your head high and stay strong

Will you give up, give in
When your heart's crying out "that is wrong"
Will you love you for you at the end of it all

Now in life there's gonna be times
When you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar

The boy who wonders, is he good enough for them
Keep trying to please them all
But he just never seems to fit in
Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be
Good enough for him
He's trying to change and
That's a game she'll never win

In life there will be times when you're feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that one thing we should know is

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers they will unfold
What are you waiting for
Spread your wings and soar

In the mirror is where she comes
Face to face with her fears
Her reflection looked forward on to her
After all these years
However how she's tried to be
Something besides herself
Now time has passed and she's ended up
Somewhere else with regret

What is it is that makes us feel the need
To keep pretending
Gotta let ourselves be

Don't be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door

See in your hands the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know
All the answers you will unfold
Don't wait no more
Spread your wings and soar

Find your road
Love will open every door
See in your hands the world is yours
Don't look back in the window, you'll find your way
Always know all the answers will unfold

Oh don't wait
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
You've got to soar
Spread your wings and soar
Don't wait no more
No don't you wait no more
Spread your wings and soar
You've can soar

So what you waiting for
Don't wait, Don't wait
Soar

work

2011-07-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

work is draining me out but i should think it as opportunities and challenges instead of problems.! that is the right mindset that everyone should have! so GAMBATE! so matter how tough the situation can be or how pressurizing and stressful, there will always be light. :) so fight on man!

positive attitude

2011-07-07T01:23:00.001+08:00

A Positive Attitude In The Workplace Can Do These 10 Things

A positive attitude in the workplace can help you whether you own your own business, work as an employee, or manage others within a business environment. You’ll enjoy your work more and achieve your workplace or business related goals more easily and faster.

Here’s a picture of a work environment I’ve experienced. I’m sure many of you can relate to this in some way or another.

Meetings in which most of the discussion is on what is going wrong rather than about ideas on how to solve the problem.
Groups of people complain about the way the company is being run and how the company is “screwing them over.”
Upper management seems to care only about how they are measured (usually by short-term profits) rather than about the long-term success of the company.
General conversations occur around the workplace almost daily in which people complain to each other about how this, that, or the entire company is doomed to fail. Or about how much they “hate working here.”
Employees backstab each other in attempts to “get ahead” in the company.
People leave their workplace at the end of the day feeling drained and lifeless from all the negative energy.
Customers receive poor service due to the negativity of the company representatives. These customers do not become repeat customers or refer new customers.

If you’ve ever worked in an environment like this, you know how easy it is to get sucked into the negativity. I even had days when I went into work feeling upbeat and positive but was quickly sucked down by the negative attitudes surrounding me. Attitudes are contagious!

A positive attitude in the workplace can make a big difference...

10 Things That a Positive Attitude In The Workplace Can Do.

Career success: Who is more likely to get promoted? Those who think positively and get results, or those who constantly complain and say something isn’t their job?
Stress reduction: You feel stressed when you see events or situations as stressful. Change your perception to something more positive and the stressful feelings will go away. Instead of problems, see issues as challenges, for example, from which you and your company can ultimately benefit. Try asking yourself how you can make something easier or more enjoyable. It's amazing what you come up with when you start asking yourself these types of questions.

Less sick days and better productivity: This is a side benefit of stress reduction. Stress can have a serious negative impact on your health. If you can reduce your stress, or the stress of everyone in your organization you'll enjoy better health, less sick days, and better productivity.

Improve customer relations and improve sales: Customers would rather deal with someone positive. Research has also shown that sales professionals who think positively and believe in the benefits of their product have much better sales performance.
Become a better leader: If you own a company or if you manage people, those who report to you usually get more from watching you than they do listening to what you’re saying. Be a good example of having a positive attitude in the workplace. Set goals and ask for people’s support in achieving them. Take a positive attitude approach to achieving those goals and to overcoming challenges. Your attitude and enthusiasm will spread throughout your workplace. A positive attitude is just as infectious as a negative one. Be careful about which one you’re fostering.
Improve the attitude of other employees or those who report to you: As I said, positive attitudes are infectious. Even if you’re an employee you can help create a positive attitude in the workplace by being the change you want to see. Refuse to participate in negative conversations. When you’re in a meeting or when you encounter a challenge, instead of dwelling on who’s fault it is or on the challenge itself, steer the conversation to focus on how the issue can be overcome. You might seem a bit odd to others at first, but your attitude will begin to affect change. Keep at it and keep focused on your goal of affecting change. Soon people will be drawn to you because they can’t help but like being in the company of somebody positive. And soon the attitude will spread throughout the workplace. Or at the very least, those who insist on staying negative won’t bother you anymore because they know you won’t entertain their negativity.
Improve teamwork: Teams are much more effective when the members are united in overcoming challenges and figuring out how they can achieve their objectives rather than dwelling on all the problems and obstacles that stand in their way.
Improve motivation for yourself and others: If you have a positive attitude about achieving goals and success in general, you will be much more motivated to take action. If you look at what you would like to accomplish and you see only the obstacles, your motivation diminishes pretty quickly. Ask yourself what might spur you to action.
Improve decision-making and overcome challenges: See challenges as opportunities to grow and become better. When you’re making a business decision, you can use this same approach and your options will really open up.
Improve Interpersonal Relations: People like positive people. They’re automatically drawn to a pleasant and upbeat demeanor. Your business and personal relationships will definitely improve when you employ a positive attitude. There are also techniques you can use to help improve other people's reaction and attitude toward you. (check out: 11 Can't Fail Tips for Improving Your Interpersonal Relations Skills for more information)

The working stage of llife

2011-07-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

We all go through different stages of our lives. And apparently, mine is the adult working stage of life. Its definitely not easy coping with it at first but im sure i can get the hang of it soon,its just a matter of time isnt it? When we were younger, we play, we have fun, we feel carefree and we do not have to fret about much things for our parents can take care of things for us isnt it? Sometimes when you cant make choices and you do not know your directions in life, parents gona come into the picture and direct you to your path..

And whats my directed path?

Nursing..

( a very stressful job for a person like me, disorganised,straight-forward,sensitive person) imma a ENTF/ENTJ

i had a horrendous beginning til i met friends,teaching nurses along the way to alighten my thoughts. it is definitely very helpful. This job is going to be very challenging for me. But since im in it, i have to take it. What i really worry about is that will i stay on after 2 years? Based on myself, im sure i'll stay when i get the hang of it. But i want to move off from nursing. Nursing indeed do teach me alot,patience especially.

And being about to do things at the right time,right place and right person. There is so much to learn in nursing. SO MUCH! And one thing for sure that ive learnt is this "AS NURSES, WE MUST ASK!" i think its the nurses duty to open mouth and ASK! becuz we are dealing with patient's life and definitely do not want to risk patient's life.

After the 3 months probation, we RNs will face bigger,greater challenges ahead of us, which is responsibilities of our patient's life. i feel that i will grow stronger each day! it teaches me to be firm as well,which is something that i lack. im too soft and people do take advantage of me.

And one thing for sure, nursing do make me stupid. even more! i must tell myself that i am going to switch job to something else,office job maybe? But im beginning to like shift jobs tho. the best part of shift work is you do not have to fight with other working adults for food,shopping? movies? hah.

I jus want to earn more and lead a well-to do life. Gee! im only 21 and im talking like a old adult. gee!

May all nurses be happy and work smart too!

dreams

2011-06-20T18:09:00.000+08:00

Nowadays it’s difficult to look at life positively.

I stopped watching the news a long time ago, because it’s simply to depressing. Recession, disasters, war on terror, plain stupid decisions the politicians make. Plenty of things that can either make you cry or piss you off. Add to that your personal life – bills, work, relatives, relationship issues, etc. – and it’s almost enough to have yourself admitted to a mental institute.

What is that one thing you always wanted to achieve? Successful career? A published book? To take your family on a trip to Disney World Japan? Or maybe you’re dreaming of buying a yellow Lamborghini one day?

Whatever it is, it’s good. Even if you’ll never make it. You did good.

I dream. I dream of happiness. I dream of one day one person walks up to me and thanks me because I changed his life. Only one.

That’s why I blog. To pursue that dream.

A dream isn’t necessary an illusion. Sometimes they come true. Sometimes they don’t. But they always stimulate you t keep going. They occupy your mind when times are hard.

Dreams are thoughts that you can always fall back on. So you won’t feel empty. You won’t feel useless. You’ll feel better. Good enough to deal with whatever you’re dealing with. Even the most difficult of times.

You might not achieve that one dream. But you’ll achieve many others.

Chase it for all that it’s worth. Because then, and only then, you can be sure that when you’re old and grey you’ll be able to look back on life and have no regrets.

stressed

2011-06-06T16:50:00.001+08:00

The older i get, the more liabilities ive to pay. there isnt much difference btw getting more pay or less. i think i shouldnt say that. in actual fact, i am spending more and hardly able to save much at all. Having tension headaches thinking of all these. im not in control of my own life. i need to earn more $. My shift work is killing me but i shldnt let that hinder me. Im giving excuses and blaming about everything else but the only person that can change the situation is ME! me,myself and i! Why shld i blame others and hving excuses for such sucky situations that i am in? its not gona change anything about my life. i need to strive and motivate myself! i need to tell myself that its a challenge for me to get thru this stronger. wow. writing really helps me to clear up my thoughts, without writing, i got a hard and blurry fragments of thoughts. dismotivated, unhappy,stress and pressured. thats what im feeling right now. im not exactly lost. i mean i always thought i am when im not writing to clear up my thoughts. But in fact, i need the cash to do investments. i need to save up the $! there's so many things to think about,that explains why he always say im stressed cuz i grind my teeth very loud at night everyday. Am i gona end up in my sister's plight? stress,unhappy,pressured and dismotivated as well? i think im alr behide her running in her journey. i need to talk to her to understand how she feels exactly but we hardly able to communicate like older sister guiding her younger one. she doesnt have the time to guide me and tell me whats wrong. For him, he's always saying me, he doesnt bother to do smth sweet and simple to make me smile. he gets pissed when im pissed. ive got my own pressure and problems but he doesnt understand and he get pissed for i blowin up at times which makes me even more stressed and pressured. shouldnt have celebrated my 21st as its the year where you're gona face alot of responsibilities. tough challenge god has given me but just gotta pull thru this and fight! Thinking of a bigger picture scares me. lets just take things one step at a time.

so good to feel this way again!

2011-06-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

i never felt sooooooooo great after so long! Dance made me alive! or i should say body kinetics and sweating makes me alive! After soooo long! im glad that i made that impulsive move on learning O school street jazz! Now im taking Street Jazz II and its amazing! Eve is an AMAZING AND FABULOSOOOO TEACHER! :) After starting work, my life was mandane and i felt so dead! lucky ive gt my dance and music to make me alive again. :) When im sad, i listen t music, wen im dead bored, i listen to music, when i hyper happy,i dun listen to music. When im tired, i listen to music. okay. wateva laaaaa. :))))

it feels great that u're working out your body!

I love sweating like a pig! FEELS GREAT! :D

im planning to go O school open class after my street jazz II. :) EGGCITED! i duno why when it comes to nursing job,im like a dead fish. But when it comes to dance or running or netball or anything that requires sweating,im HYPPPERR LIKE NOBODY BUSINESS!

Dance Dance Dance,swim swim swim,run run run! Its the only time that i can get away from all the nags,responsibilities,stress,problems,headaches!

And i think my body is annoying me! i need a personal trainer! i wanna be like slimmer and lighter but yet, when i exercise and eat less! my weight gone up and people says cuz i gain muscle mass which in face muscle mass is heavier den fats, so okay,fine. i stop exercising and i gain more fats but which in fact,my weight is lesser however i look fabby! it totally suck! Its really annoying me! REALLY! But wateva! im still gona stick to exercising and eating healthily, after all its ur health tat is more impt isnt it?

Aight fellows,im done for now.

ADIOS AMIGO

soft-hearted

2011-05-25T02:50:00.001+08:00

One thing for sure, i get bullied, i get taken advantaged of is because im too soft. im too soft to people who are dear to me. im too soft to people who are close to me. i tolerate and swallow all the nonsense, i dun complain much. so its becuz of those, people think im stupid and gullible. Maybe? Maybe not? im trying to learn to be strong, which i was.. but im weak now. i have to learn to be strong again. May the lord give me strength and power to do what i need to do. Amen!
Me being soft hearted is stupid and coward of me. where is the hard-hearted side of me? its missing somewhere in me.

Bonjour!

2011-04-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

HI! :) Been window shopping these days. ;)

i dun get some people. I know when things cant get you down, it only makes you stronger and im getting stronger.that is call growing. You teach but people dun listen, its fine when it happens once or twice and sometimes its okay if it happens many times when ur loved one is not listening. But it frustrates me to see that im treated as a buzzing bee! just BUZZZZZ and off it goes! it just doesnt get into the person's head! why is it so hard for them to just get the FREAKING info in their heads? oh! cuz im too soft for them to take in what i said? If that is so, fine! i'll change instantly. Im gona take a different approach, just watch me how! Im a person who says that im gona do it, i keep it! Im a woman of my words! When im angry,means im angry! When im sure of my feelings, i stick by it. Dun play with me and test my patience and tolerance! everyone has their limits and everyone has their way of releasing their frustrations but just dun test mine. i duno how freaking nasty i'll end up doing..

And oh, guess wad.. You can take the soft but u cannot handle the hard, why is that so? becuz it hurt ur ego! And it makes you feeling low and lousy and u needed to run away and find solutions to solve the issues and you couldnt let down your little pride to clear the air. I let down mine to explain things to you and you chose not to. yet i hope. Wadeva it is, stop giving urself excuses! you're just full of excuses the day i met you! JUST STOP! AND JUST DO IT! successful people dun find excuses, they work on it and den do it!

moments of creativity :)

2011-04-22T00:03:00.002+08:00

MFW 2011

2011-04-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

special thanks to my cousin brother for helpin us to get the tix t MFW 2011. XOXO :)

there's still alot of pictures but its missing! nah. its somewhere,have to find.

2011-04-18T00:20:00.000+08:00

i have decided,i'll just focus and work hard in this two years of nursing first then decide where i want to go or where its gona take me. No point thinking so much. Just have to absorb as much learning experience and knowledge from this two years of nursing. tmr is the foundation program so hope i can continue the focus! Dun want to think so much either. Not gona do me any good.

Last nite in taiwan

2011-04-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Tmr heading back to Sg. So happy. :) anw today we went to danshui and wufenpu.wahh.danshui got quite alot of food to eat.Taiwan indeed has alot of food to eat but not ximenting. the things not only expensive,the designs are very little as well. wufenpu fashion area has SO MUCH MORE.its like bugis street but bigger and the clothes are just slightly cheaper. Bought quite afew clothes. Need to do something about it. spent quite alot here come to think of it. Have to do someting with the clothes man!

Tmr gona go for the flora exibition that my mom is dying to go which i knowwww.All her flowers! haha! everytime she sees flowers,its "mei,take pic of me with the flower,mei,very nice go take la..go go!" everytime! While my dad is "gt church,im going,haiya.u all so long,i go off first" and he left for church.haha! other den that he completely has no interest at allllllll.

so yea. "im coming home" :)

Day 6 at taiwan

2011-04-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

Ximenting! thats wer people says its the same to eat and shop! i was so excited when people says that there's shopping and food! Well i totally agree that there are alot of food and their MEE SUA is the best! Plus their bubble milk tea! today i drank like 3cups! they use the high quality milk and its damn yummy! i think its the milk that make it tastes nice! hehe! And after drinking so many bubble tea, i was seeking for fruit juice and there were none t be found only after walking few streets away from simenting. We din exactly walk jus t buy the fruit juice la,we chance upon it wen we were on our way to taipei train station.the "jiam bu" fruit is damn sweet and nice! DElICIOUS! and the fruits here are exceptionally sweet! And i bought a few masks back! hehe! not cheap tho but heard its good and tried it myself so bought more,anw i wouldnt be coming back here again isnt it. haha! Taiwan indeed has ALOT of food stalls to eat and Sg is like only a small part as compared t taiwan.haha! Today i had this stonecove bun filled with mince meat and lots and lots of chopped spring onions! its DAMN NICE! like haeven! thats the only food that made a significant impression of all the other food that ive tasted. That bao" is damn nice! even my mom is amazed and she wana learn to make it by oven e bao.lol! so yea,we walked for about 20mins t head t taipei train station cuz some of the people says that there are some nice clothes to shop so we walked! But disappointed again,nth much and the price of th clothes is just the same as ximenting. so disappointed.its like there is someone controlling their market rate man. so we walked and walked and my mom very tired,she wanted to use the elevator but ther's no elevator,super not elderly friendly and not bladder friendly. so hard to find toilet.

anyway wads disappointing is the clothes here. there are alot aftering the korean clothes. Its so korean style and alot of the designs are from korea. I think korea still the best t shop for high quality clothes. the price is also right for such high quality clothes.Taiwan's clothes is expensive and not nice! the price is comparable with Sg and the clothes prolly i can get it from Sg,nt significant for me to buy back except for some tank top but e tank top is not cheap either.shouldnt suprised me cuz the last time i came to tw,its just as expensive as well.

But the shoes are nice tho. its a little cheaper den sg.

As compared to sg,sg still way way better. lucky im not thrown here for any reasons other den holiday cuz im gona cry here. T.T Im really very very fortunated to be living in Sg. Too used to Sg's environment already.

And the taiwan's shop workers are damn rude too. The females especially,guys are always warmer and not so bitchy! Damn! there was today? i went to this shop and we're shopping for shoes? they lady got so frustrated and tell my mom not t listen to anyone's advises except her own and i was so pissed! FUCKING PISSED and i told the stupid worker off that im her daughter! not some "anyone" wth is she t speak like that,and she can show that frustrated face. hello woman,go learn some service talk to improve on your servicing if u dun like to serve den go home and sleep! so pissed! i was about t leave the shop after i finish telling her off and ask my mom t go and dun buy all the shoes! But lucky the guy was calmer and calm everything down and the lady covered herself up. Like seriously,if those in service line do not like doing servicing,just quit the damn job and go hm sleep! so rude! whose the boss? its the buyers! the consumers!so violated! "dun listen to anybody la,jus buy what u want la,why u must listen to what others say!" Screw ur servicing skills! so pushy. guys are still better,more tactful in handling situations.okay.enuff of comparison and complaining. aint making my nite cuz im sleepin soon. tmr milk tea again. :D

Nites nites! :)

Day 4 of Taiwan

2011-04-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

tmr gona be Day 5 and left a few more days to SG! YEA! whats best other den your own homeland? isnt it? I wouldnt wana adapt to a place like Taiwan but i certainly dun mind learning their style. :) neway, everytime we head back to the hotel, im always looking forward for asking lan wire or wifi :) so i can start blogging. i think i should refine my writing more. Been blogging since like secondary 1? and that is like 8years of blogging. Blogging is like a part of my life now you know, its where you can express all your real thoughts and feelings into somewhere people do not stop you from it and its the only place it can help me lighten my load of emotions when im sad or heighten my emotions of happiness but usually its sadness where the blog found me again and again,cause by writing,i am thinking thru all the qns that hit me. okay! side-tracked. haha. Back to business.

So today we were at Kaohsiong st,went to see the confucius temple and some deity temple and went to dream mall to window-shop branded goods,taiwan's not the place to buy branded.haha. And oh, i heard Taiwan mask is good so a lady recommanded me to get "wo de mei li de ri ji" mask,cosmad sells it and that brand has about 10 different kinds of mask,ders white pearl powder mask,black pearl powder mask,aloe,cholate,sake yeast etc. there were so any to choose from and my mom was annoying! she was rushing me when there is like 15more mins to leave and i told her to give me 5mins to consider what i want cuz i dunwana buy the wrong one and then im gona regret and wasted the $,its $ we're talking about and she can still tell me money hard to earn yet she kept rushing me when there is enuff time! so angry,she's gona pay for that,not me. If that's my money, i would consider even longer. Its not all about "aiya,buy and go,buy and go.." the amount of $ im gona earn is not about "buy and go" its about making stupid decisions and i dun wana regret buying something that im pressurised about. I need to learn to stay firm. Staying firm is something that i still am learning. Im weak and i know. im soft and i know, i get eaten sometimes and i know. But im learning to be strong.. so long i have a brain and am a fully-abled body, there is nothing i cannot do. If a blind can play beautiful music,isnt it a shame that a fully-abled body with eyes cant do what a blind can? to succeed? Now i really dun care whether people calls me stubborn all the time or wadeva,really. i try to listen to the right person,i cant possibly listen to every tom,dick,harry,balls,cats and dogs rite? If u're smart and you are up there, i definitely respect you and listen to every single word you say,i wouldnt even question. Ok,side-tracked again.haha

So yea, mom and i was pissed but i think again,if im pissed,i'll lose out so i decided to stop being pissed and went back to get what i wanted,i was there for a few mins and finally gotten what i want. :) and of cuz,we're not late. so yea, we bus again and alighted at kaohsiong's night market, so many food stall but all tasted like crappp. Sg is way better. the food really suck t max! SG STILL TH BEST! :) hehe. Wasted my stomach space for awful food,mygawd. I had to exercise when im back to the hotel. T.T gona go excess running without food man. i can feel the food gone down to my legs,mygawd. so yea.

bonsur madame et monsiour. Shall blog tmr.

Day 3 of taiwan

2011-04-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

It seems like this holiday is a long one. And i should learn to enjoy myself despite who the people are in the same tour group as me. Guess wad,today mom bought the taiwan authetic Lingzhi and there is the raw pure royal jelly which apparently, its spoilt! !@$#@%@ and the free moisturiser they give expires in May 2011 which is next year! damn,im pissed! How can they do business like that,cheating on consumer's trust and money. What i learn from this is that i should stay resilient and strong-headed from all the pressure given be it by my parents or whoever and always check on all the products i buy be it whether they take the iniative to check it or not but i think i should take the iniative to check it before i leave the place. Tell me about it, its not that the consumers doesnt want to trust those that sell the product but its becuz of other black shits ruin the trust.its terrible seriously.tmr morning the tour guide has to face me and give me a solid explanation of wth the royal jelly smells like rotten cheese and the moisturiser gona expires the next month! im so gona get it changed by hook or by crook.

Today did hot spring of 41.6 degree celcius. we're cooking ourselves. haha. so yea. im only looking forward for the last day! THE SHOPPING DAY! who doesnt look forward to it really. :)

I WANA CHANGE MY ROYAL JELLY! IM PISSEDDDDDD! does pure royal jelly supposed to smell like rotten cheese

Taiwan day 2

2011-04-07T22:21:00.001+08:00

Now we're in Taipei lounging in a 4 bedded spacious hotel room. i think its 3 star too if im not wrong. Tmr gona like go for Hot spring. The guy says those who have HTN,DM,wound healing,pregnant cant go down for hot spring cuz of the after soak reasons. Too bad for mom.she can only shower. And mom is killing my dad! She kept feeding him with fatty food! ive to chopstick away for my dad,lucky my dad knows his limits. Being on this holiday tour with my parents is a killer. i really wana head back to SG nowwwwww. And all we did today was EAT,SIGHTSEEING for like a few minutes and back on board on the bus,sleep.eat again,get down for a few mins back on board,sleep. and its gona be the same for the next one week! T.T cry. How can i not grow fatttttt. Both of them are giving me headaches! huge one. and all the time. especially my dad. Have to keep a constant lookout for him and his stuffs and he can be REALLY ANNOYING and its really really annoying! i asked him to like get the wifi lan line from downstairs cuz im all bathed and pimples squeezeed with pimple whte cream on my face and full of redness.he can still say :huh,later la,let me watch finish his show" by the time he finish watching,my laptop batt is down and i wont be here blogging alr and i wont be doing my errands online.Sometimes im jus pure lazy to explain myself.ok? stop bugging and complaining about me you stupid people! And mum asked him to bring like a coat over cuz its gona be chilling and he forgt and certain things my mom tell him to do,he just says NVM LA,whose the one being the stubborn stub now.sigh.Wad to do,just tolerate lor.cant do anything wad,jus keep quiet and be blame for being stubborn and everything negetive cuz i tolerate negetive stuffs and dun really complain. Do i have to always be the first to complain so pple will know that its nt my fault?Im not like my dad and i do not have my dad's brain and neither would i want to have his brains.im just normal,certain things i dun do cuz im lazy okay? just pure lazy..so sick of pple having to say me. i should just say:ahh. u do la. im lazy." done deal..so yeaaaa, mummy aint that bad,she can still take care of herself.

I MISS MY HOME! :( the food in sg is so much nicer den here and the road traffic is like crap here.
so toodles. i miss everything in sg. i wana gooooo home! FAST!

Goodbye SG, hello Taiwan.

2011-04-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

Taiwan have such cooling weather of 18degrees celcius and its the right temperature for heading around in taiwan . mummy says its spring going summer soon. so that explains the cooling shiok weather. ;) so yea. we depart Sg at 1545 hours and arrived at 2050hours. the flight journey in the tiger airways plane was alittle torturous but its still tolerable. What to expect from a budget airline isnt it. its the price you pay for what you want. cheap things, dun expect good. But hey, come to think of it, budget terminal is getting more and more well established though, despite the fact that the government did not pump in large amount of $ for the outlook and structures of the BUDGET TERMINAL. Now there are more eateries and shops compared to the last time i been there, which was like last year? :)

so mummy says that we will be travelling to different hotels EVERYDAY. that is a huge headache for me, a person who likes to procrastinate, my gawd! its gona be a tiring holiday moving to different hotels EVERYDAY. Can you imagine first stop, u only have one bag,and den you move on to the next with more bags and move on to the next with more and more bags and at the end of the destination.. well,yea. the amount of load you have to bring it along. i need a stong fit man like my brother to be around so he can relentlessly carry the heavy loads by fully utilizing his humongous muscles. hehe.

So we arrive to our 3 star hotel and guess wad, there's a mini hot spring tub in our room! WEEE! gona bath and then soak myself in the tub,mum says its sulphur water.hahaha. cute isnt she.

ohkay. mummy wants me to do things now.

so au' voir mandame and monsieour. Thats day 1 for my trip. tmr is speed training day for just 20mins heading to different hotel. T.T save me!

You are just so ugly as a person

2011-04-04T04:27:00.001+08:00

I had enough of your nonsense, you definitely have Anger management problem and EQ deficiency. I make sure this will be the last time you're doing this shit! You're under my blacklist and i will NEVER FORGIVE YOU! Leopard will NV change its spots. You simply have high EGO and think that you're so great in criticizing and putting down people to make yourself go higher, go ahead. No wonder you always have issues with people in your work. People talks behide your back and you just dun even know. You just lie your way through and make it seems like it has nothing to do with you. No wonder people side you cuz they dun even noe what sorts of person you are. Well guess wad, you badmouth every single one of the closest people behide their back and they dun even noe it. And you always have the cheek to ask for things. Well, that includes family and cousins as well even after badmouthing each and everyone of them. If i were to tell what you badmouth about lx and xg, sees whats gona happen next.maybe they will let it go, maybe not. who knows. oh. prolly ur just gona save your own ass and go oh, no la. merina is just making up stories to get back on me. we're just fighting. Screw you. Me and you now are hostility. People who really side you are people who are stupid. You're just getting uglier and uglier as a person! u can go oh, we're just having siblings fight, dun bother about us. the true fact is that no one knows what sort of person you are. thinking you're oh so great. people will go, oh. shes just being lost in life,oh. pity her,oh. let her be. Wait til those people have a TRUE TASTE of her and they will know. Come on people, mix with her more and be with her more. shes nice and sweet and friendly and fun-for temporary only.

Oh, and maybe she might read this, maybe not. prolly she's just gona comment and save her own ass criticizing about me. go ahead and comment if you're reading. Such ugly personality you have, only that damien can tolerate your stupid nonsense!

This fight is never ending. that explains jason ong's r/s with you. maybe he's not the person that has issue with you but you having issues with him.oh,i almost forgot, you're never wrong.you're always right,by lying thru your scheming mouth. Right.

And oh, i haven forgotten why she din wana give my cousin xg anything for his bday,right. cuz he din help her at all and decided not to give him anything. mine oh mine. den of cuz. why would she be giving? she's always receiving or having people to do things for her else she'll badmouth the person behide and giving the person prolly a hard time. hmm.

i hope she meets someone more worse than her and deal with her. she haven meet and seen the worse yet. screw you really ugly person.

MFW 2nd

2011-04-03T05:11:00.001+08:00

Apparently some says im spontaneous and i am. but being spontaneous is good and bad for the fun of it. However i do not want to be a nurse for the rest of my life! People who are rich are people who does Business and i wana learn to do business too!

i guess i am naive at times but being naive is good. Hv u heard "ignorant is bliss" hah

but alot of things do happen that we do not know of.

Today is the day that i learn alot of things. looking at how people behave and dress and stuff.

Never regret going for MFW tho.

But sometimes things can go alittle off and its irritating!

i guess im really the type that being eaten all the time. But its okay. Cuz i know that everytime i do, i'll be eating others in future.

Have you seen those kids in secondary school used to be like perfect and smart straight As student and when they grow other, they wanted to be another and they turn out being people who smokes, being fat and drinks and go against authority? People do change. And have you seen kids who are ugly turned out pretty or pretty turn out ugly?

I'll always rmb this saying" thought you have gotten the champion status,doesnt mean you slack. Still have to uphold the title and work doubly hard" that is really inspiring to know. i'll always rmb that.

Its okay that im giving now cuz i know that i will not be giving in the future and i'll be receiving.

If you're nasty to me, i'll be nasty back to you. Just as simple.

I'm nice to everyone,so long you fuck me, i'll just fuck you back depending what your status is.

There's still alot to learn in life. And especially got to learn how to be more thick-skin to ask for what i want.

So yea, Jiayou in life merina! i hope for the best for my future and earn millions of dollars and be rich taitai.

However, being rich and being the top only makes the person more lonely.

Why all the riches guys are gays? Oh, maybe the people they meet are guys so prolly they just needed some love care and attention i supposed. Still, you cant have best of both worlds isnt it.

I WANT TO BE RICH and have my MERINA's HORSE STABLE or MERINA'S CORPERATION

yes. i am definitely dreaming. ohwell. haven you heard? dreams do come true. law of attraction! :)

JIAYOU! GAMBATTE!

MFW 2011

2011-04-02T02:57:00.000+08:00

It was an awesome night tonight.

Well done to the organiser for organising such great event that gone well tonight. *thumbs up!

Thought all of us arrived early for the event, the torture only started at night where the heels were starting to be a killer to me. The most important show at 11pm din managed to get in. But ohwell. my feets were arching like mad. I missed the big big chance and highlight of the event!neway, 5inchs heels that i walked almost half the day? Goodie to me!

I need to learn to be more thick-skinned abit. Thin-skinned cldnt get me anywhere. Aunty is right, i think i shld learn to be more thick-skinned to the right moment and right person. Im still learning who to be thick-skinned to or thin-skinned to. How to behave appropriately in all sorts of different occasions. im still trying to grasp it at my finger tip.

Thought i may be quiet at times but the moments of silence does not mean nth, it always mean something and its usually something that i make sure i will get back on, its just a matter of time.

The moments of silence is the time where i tear you apart silently.

Im nice to everyone but that doesnt mean everyone can poo on my head.

criticizing someone to make yourself look better is just a laughing stock to me. I laugh silently.

Whats life? live around and you will get used to it. Thats life.

Looking forward for the next show tmr!

:) doodles.

Friday's the big day! or rather! TMR'S THE BIG DAY!

2011-04-01T02:39:00.000+08:00

Im so eggggcited for tmr!

As we all know, mens fashion week 2011 is held in Singapore for the very first time! it is the Third fashion show after the ones at Paris and Milan. :)

And all of us are attending the MFW tmr! im so excited! For once we can take pretty pictures tomorrow and with all my cousin's friends and my friends together. :)

gorgeous for once in our life time, or rather mine? Since my prom nite suck? cuz of the horrendous make up done by my friend's makeup artist? prolly she got the one that is meant for the dead corps instead of the live one. Like seriously? i shall not further elaborate on that horrendous memories in my mind. Just use our intelligence to figure out what i meant.

So yea. Been really busy looking for nice dresses and heels to blow people's mind away or rather for nice memories to keep for life.

Tmr gona be a long day for me. Im missing my street jazz 1 at 5 tmr and it sucked big time. and next week gona be at Taiwan. Which im gona miss another class big time! And that is like 40$ fly away O school! :(

Tmr have to call them up, but ive to go down to HR to get my transcript, den head down to SNB den head back to HR for the photocopy. they really think we're really that free and really think that SG is that small to travel to and fro. They think that we're travelling from orchard t somerset? Joke!

so yea, prolly heading down to kissjane's launch at 11-12 at bugis junction? come to think of it, my friends haven reply me yet! Den after that rushing off to home to get changed,bath,make up and stuff and oh! i supposed forgt! change my pedro's heel! Gona have to be a bitch to get it changed. so sorry pedro. Please from label me as a bad customer. I shall apologize first. :)

So yea. the hectic long day will start at 9am onwards and go all the way to 8pm plus?

And so sorry that i haven been talking to you, u must be thinkin that im neglecting you.

If you really read everyday as you claim, u will see this. :) if u dun, den too bad den.

So Lets enjoy tmr people! cameras charged, tissue paper,oil blotter? lipgloss and some makeup to touch up.

And how am i to go home from there? Gee!

what bodytype are you?

2011-03-23T20:38:00.001+08:00

Generally when people talk about skinny people they are thinking about people with anectomorphic body type. These people have little fat, little muscle and a delicate bone structure. Ectomorphs are either naturally skinny or it is straightforward for them to get skinny, e.g. Taylor Swift and Eva Mendes respectively. However, there are two other body types. Mesomorphs naturally build muscle and can gain fat quickly, but also lose fat relatively easy. Examples include Anna Kournikova, Janet Jackson and Jessica Biel.Endomorphic people have a body type that means they struggle to control the body fat percentage and have to work really hard at losing weight. Beyonce and Scarlett Johansson are endomorphs. Each of these three body types gains and loses weight with varying levels of ease.

When planning to get skinny remember:

The ease or difficulty with which it takes to get skinny will depend on your body type.
What getting skinny means to you should depend on your body type. If you have an endomorphic body your skinny goal should not be Kate Moss, Eva Mendes or Taylor Swift (ectomorphs), but someone with an endomorphic body build.
Being realistic means that you will achieve your goals and drop the fat, get rid of the wobbly bits and have a firm, lean body like Scarlett Johansson, Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez. The same goes for the other body types. Are you a mesomorph? Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Aniston are great examples. Determine your body type and find out who your skinny rolemodel is. You CAN get skinny; just remember that it should mean different things to different people.
Healthiness trumps skinniness. Therefore, your first and overriding goal should be to maintain or improve health. Your goal to get skinny should come second. Ensure that all your plans are consistent with this principle.
I think im a mesomorph body type. :) imma jessica biel. haha.

2011-03-11T03:14:00.002+08:00

It was a fun night, all for fun and laughter. He's jus another temporary topic t talk about.

chillax.

Need to focus on my umpiring and training my stamina and getting a new pair of shoes and earning more and aim to be slimmer. exercise more and eat less. ive got my nyaa to get it settled. And street jazz on 18th march.

xoxo.

Dismiss the previous post.

2011-03-11T02:33:00.000+08:00

I think imma gona have a long swim and think about things.

2011-02-14T01:29:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day t all! Mwah

2011-02-08T02:04:00.002+08:00

Happy Cheena New Year 2011!

2011-02-07T16:42:00.000+08:00

Festive seasons is the time where family members get together. Well, this chinese new year is indeed a good time for get togethers.

all of us learn alot from each other's life and at some point of time, i felt inadequate and lousy.

After moving on to Nursing, i felt like my brain has stopped functioning. it totally died off, seeing my sister is like seeing the future me. Its time to change my destiny. In secondary school, i felt that i dun bother about what others have to say about me,yes i am stubborn. But as i grew, people says u're supposed to be a better person when you grow older and its usually when u're ugly when u're young, u tend to be pretty when u grow older. i guess im turning out to be submissive and less aggressive as before,more feminine i guess? But im so submissive that i rather let others take the limelight and i'll be in the background,trying to be what i am supposed to be,a lady. But den again, i still have to be on guards. i guess people thinks that i am such a nice person that ive taken for being stupid? im too selfless now,like mother theresa. tsk.

Learn to be like the tree again Merina. Who cares what others think of you. May this year be a brain-boosting and excelling,successful year for me.

Im so versatile to the extend that i dun even noe who i am.

"shopping"

2011-01-15T03:45:00.000+08:00

How does the clothes fit on me?

I simply love "shopping" I told a friend that if every clothes that fit me nicely den i have to buy them else i'll regret, that means that its gona cost me a bomb! so the only idea it hit me was doing "shopping" at least i get to fancy nice outfits. heihei.

How nice if i can be a fashion model. LOL. in my dreams perhaps.

xoxo.

Wait, i dun get why are people always looking at me when im in the train! of all people, they will be glaring at me all the time! including male and females, i really dunno what are they looking at! really! its not that im some supermodel or celebrity! It really makes me wonder!

xoxo

2011-01-10T03:06:00.002+08:00

Love me and i'll love you.

;)

Rock the world

2011-01-10T03:05:00.000+08:00

Blood-related.

Think rich and i will be rich.

Think smart and i will be smart.

Think the best and i will be the best.

haha.

Goodnite.

Ladies night.

2011-01-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

im bored.

And ive to accomplish something at least for this 2011. So at least i will have something to rmb about.

haven really been focusing much about what i want. Been too nice and dazing for too long already.

But one thing for sure, i cant help it for being fun and laughing. Pple says im childish but i would like to say its a joy of life. So long you know when to be serious and when not to. How do i look up there? fat? haha. messy hair? well, thts my trademark. messy hair and thick eyebrows. Tsk!

i so wana do sports competitively again but i dun have the time to commit due to my sucky work schedule. :(

I cant stand lazy pple during work.

Lets just work hard everybody.

Keep healthy and be in shape. ;)

2011-01-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

People says, using brain is always better than using legs.

But if u dun use your legs first, how do you use your brain?

we all have to learn to crawl,given informations and given all sorts of information, den we can form our own brain to work things out. People are stupid maybe because they are not exposed to informations since young. I can frankly say that i am stupid.

God, give me strength to work very hard and be smarter. My working life is so mundane.

2011-01-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

I need smarter people to influence me greater.

If u're GOD DAMN SMART, i want to be your friend.

Not just study smart. Its brilliant smart.

Happy 2011!

2011-01-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

Time flies. its 2011! the on the 1st of 2011, it was pouring so heavily.

So whats my new year resolution?

T plan for my 21st?

To be the best i can in wateva i do.

And use more of my brain!

I dunwana end up having dementia when i grow old!

And

I duno what had happened to my internet access, :( Can someone help?

Now i'm tapping on my phone's internet access. Gosh!

From now on, i shall blog the happy and sad news everyday.

Everyday we're learning something.

And i'll try t be more multitasking person.

And be more alert.

Its a brand new year and i dunwana spoil it with all the whinings and sadness cuz its a BRAND NEW YEAR!

Brand new year for a better and brand new me. :)

im trying to learn as much and build a better character of me.

its been awhile since i last blogged, and i was having a reminiscence of the past.

2010-12-17T03:09:00.000+08:00

WILD! :)

SWEET?

As we grow, we grow better and seeing the world more. Its true that ignorance is bliss, the lesser you know, the more you will enjoy. But wait, the more you see, the more its supposed to make you stronger and not weaker. BeStrong! No matter how strong the wind gona blow, just stay strong and not get weaker. i think i was alot more happy-go-lucky back den. The more we grow, its harder to be genuine to others. People teach you to be tactful when you speak. But why be tactful when what you mean is true and honest from your heart? The older we grow, the more we have to be hypocrites to others. Im just being me, showing everyone the real me. I need to get back on competitive sports. Thats where i belong, thats my playground. Thats where i was being groomed and me. I lost my focus and i am truely floating. I need my sports to get back the drive again. I just dun like when you wana do something, everyone just deter you from doing it. When you got so much passion,belief,drive and motivation. And people just wana put you down. I really feel for him that its really hard and especially when i dun even support him. ignorant i was. stupid i was and i think i still am. i am beginning to understand how you feel and what you're going thru,abit. Prolly you're going thru alot more. Be it whether its the truth or the lie. i chose to believe you cuz i think thats what you really need.

I duno how your experience gona teach me. Be hypocrite,smile and be the angel? i need some enlightenment.

2010-12-04T03:10:00.000+08:00

We all have to learn from life lessons and grow stronger, that should be the way.

However i feel that i am always faulting the same mistakes cuz im not strong enough. In fact, im growing weaker. Which it shouldnt be that way! Wth am i even been thinking.

gotta learn to see who to give my kindness to wisely. too soft-hearted i am. bad, very bad.

And there is some issues arised, i need t put it a stop before it grows deeper which i dunwant it t happened. it shall just remain as that. Bye bye and quit S-ing me.

xoxo.

2010-12-01T23:24:00.000+08:00

I shouldnt let circumstances affect my self-growth the wrong way.

I should learn and be stronger the next day.

anything happened, im partially responsible for it as well.

Team player, team leader.

2010-12-01T01:22:00.001+08:00

The Social Network Movie is AWESOME!

SIMPLY!

Best thing ever too.:)

2010-11-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

;)

Cutest thing in my life ever. :)

2010-11-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

They're the cutest and lovable kids i have now. :)

And they have 2 lovely dogs too.

And a lovely mom as well.

im sure they have a lovely dad too.

They're the kids that makes my day.

Love them and love the family.

Looking forward to see them again!

Happy merry christmas! :D

2010-11-26T02:48:00.000+08:00

Happy Merry Christmas! HO HO HO! :D

:)

2010-11-22T00:11:00.002+08:00

Good nightt.

:)

2010-11-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

Bonjour!

Had a delightful lunch at grand shanghai with my lovely family.

toodles.

xoxo.

2010-11-21T01:34:00.001+08:00

Time to market myself well.

Toodles.

helo

2010-11-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

May life be better off in future.

i duno what i should chase now.

No $ no Talk. :(

Cousins love. exclude the dog. :)

2010-11-17T01:29:00.000+08:00

Ima sucker for what you say.

2010-11-15T00:54:00.001+08:00

Ima sucker for what you say.

so confusing,so so confusing.

you mentioned about love, is not here physically.

a person who is blinded is still thinking that it is still love.

But if it is still love, why dun i hear from you everyday?

What happened to the weekends?

What happened to the pictures we took together on your social account?

Its all missing.

Ima sucker for what you say.

so confusing, so so confusing.

For issit love or lie?

For issit saving your soul or saving my tiny hope for you.

What happened to the weekends?

What happened to all the text msges?

What happened to all the times we spent?

Its all missing.

Ima indeed a real sucker for what you say.

so confusing, so so confusing.

Just tell me that you dun love me anymore,

that you have someone else.

that will make me move on alittle bit further.

moved on by raging emotions.

Written by Merina.

2010-11-14T02:09:00.000+08:00

I almost said the words last night

I told myself the moment wasn't right

No one wants to be the one who says it first

But I been keeping it inside a secret for so long it hurts

The truth is that I love you

And I need to know from you if you love me too

The truth is that I want you completely

So if you love me too I need to know from you

What the truth is

I'm trying to look behind your eyes

I been trying to read between unspoken lines

We keep dancing 'round and we don't know what's real

Can't let the music end

Before we can find a way to say the things we feel

The truth is that I love you

And I need to know from you if you love me too

The truth is that I want you completely

So if you love me too I need to know from you

What the truth is

Oh I thought I could just walk away

That you might be a passing flame

I told myself I wouldn't care

If you weren't there

Just seem to like this lyrics though.

2010-11-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

Im a sucker for you.

i just cant stop thinking about you.

Worse when i smell your scent on someone else, reminiscence your presence

Why of all scent, u have to use the most common one.

Its torturing.

:'(

:)

2010-11-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

I got the push back again, finally. Sports make me go back on track again cuz in sports, you learn to FOCUS ON YOUR GOAL and do whatever it takes to get there. Sometimes i gt drifted away for too long that ive long forgotten how does it feels like having the drive again.

I need competitions and challenges to make me grow further.

Today my friend came t my place and den we head down to kallang for umpring. i am really no good at multi-tasking. i cant think 1 and do another. I was supposed t b carrying my shoes t kallang and i end up wearing them cuz i was talking t my friend about other stuffs. Gee. Who says female can multi-task. Thats jus stereotyping cuz i sure noe i cant multi-task. aha!

I need t stay firm and unaffected and stick to my goals again. Been away and drifting far too long. Seriously, without sports i am drifting. no push at all.

And now im doing my attachments at AMK hospital, thanks t Doris! ive t wake up 5am jus t head t amk hospital. so far! And its gerontology discipline. bwt,there's this lifting technique that is taught at the hospital, very useful indeed. :)

And ouh. Today's umpiring was pretty satisfying, players are very disciplined and for once, i stopped being a nice umpire, every time i do that, i got eaten ALIVE. i think thats how adults are. When u're not fierce and firm with them, they tend to think that they're smarter and bigger and they eat you alive!!

so after umpiring, went t played games with the other netballers,awesome! suprisingly i shot in almost all of the balls, must be no stress and pressure thats why. haha.

so yea, gtg now. have t wake up in like 4hours time. Torture time for 4wks! nvm!

torture jus makes me stronger. ;)

ADIOS!

GOOD MORNING!

2010-11-06T14:14:00.000+08:00

BONJOUR! :D

Gona go out now.

AU REVIOR! :)

:)

2010-11-06T03:48:00.000+08:00

I think ive grown alot fairer now. Thanks to Is clinical product. My complexion is really alot better than before and i wonder does herbalife take a part of the credit for it too since i only realised my complexion getting better after i purchase herbalife product. hmmm. take awhile more and see how's the effect, but i can say that the shake does make me feel alot healthier tho.. :) And lucky i insist on not taking acne medication. Im not a strong believer in eating acne medications,its just bad for health! So kudoos to me t make my stand, strongly. I hope i continue to have that sort of believe in everything else too. :)

2010-10-27T23:30:00.002+08:00

I shouldnt let anyone to tell me what i cannot do.

or maybe its not frustration or anger

2010-10-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

Its something missing, the drive. the accelerator is missing from my car. i think i need to find it back.

take control of your life merina! come on! dun screw it!

i need you.

2010-10-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

i need you but yet i cant need you. i think i need someone whom i can trust and listen to all my frustrations and anger which i dun think you are at the right moment to listen now. its time for the explosion to occur again. its been keeping inside for too long, i can feel it.

i nv felt such anxiety before.

2010-10-17T21:13:00.000+08:00

It was the worse anxiety ever. After knowing that i pass my paper, it was a BIG relief for me. it took me few days to weeks to have that courage to see my results. i damn scared the whole time. haha.

So i think ive pretty much plan out what i wana do already. Gona do my Advance dip or degree in SG while serving my 2yrs bond in NHC,hopefully can get into ICU ward. And fly to Aussie with my friends and work there. Parents planning to fly over to get a hourse there for retirement too. Hope all things can go as plan.

netball-ed

2010-10-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

Umpired today's coporate games, gee. the last quarter was intense! player even glare and stare at me for that minor minor infringements that i din blow. So yup, picked up even more and will handle that well in future.

Anyway, i joined Mr Liew's Net4all games and the level 1 umpires were being tested, gee. i dun think they did great. Even me as a player do get frustrated, now i really do feel how the players felt wen i din blow for those infringements. The level 1 umpires are really not confident with their calls and they dun seem to know what is going on, well. i had fair share too. Players see those umpires that is really green and new loves to eat them alive! Now as i see things as a player's prospective and how i felt about the umpires that aint so sure about the rules and stuff. It made me indeed learn how to handle the players better.

Overall, i grown a day stronger now.

cooked :)

2010-10-12T16:25:00.000+08:00

Woked up and started cooking potato chips. hmm. Tasted quite nice but i only cooked abit to try if its good. Overall not bad. haha :) And ouh, i wanted to cook carrot rice that look like that but the bad news is that it doesnt look like that but the good news is that its tasted yummy! :)

Washed my mum's bedsheets and mine as well. Later going out for some work orientation. im having second thoughts if i should go. hmm

fitness :) and exercise!

2010-10-10T02:08:00.000+08:00

I think every singaporean female should start exercising! slim but not tone at all. Really inspired watching this.

And i stumbled upon this Disco health club video. Amazing innovative concept isnt it? i wonder will people ever go for it if it happened in SG? hmm

And lastly, i stumbled upon this as well.

haha! GOOD WORK OUT! CAN BURN OFF SOME CALORIES! today i asked my friend if i should lose more weight and she said yes! alrightttt! i shall lose more fats and be more tone den. ive yet to reach a tone body cuz i wonder if i shld have a tone body. Will it scare off people?PLEASE TELL ME! :)

Post paper stress

2010-10-05T18:06:00.003+08:00

Now im having post paper stress. damn scared. the day i dun get back my results, i dun think i can let myself sleep or play in peace. Sheesh. Next semester is my attachments and its where all the module credits lie. 40module credits in 2 modules. PRCP and attachments. Im going stress again. i think i should start revising to prepare myself for the attachments. Pre-attachments-stress. :( i tried calculating my overall, if i were to ace my 2modules next semester, i still cannot hit a cumulative of 3. :( Die la. Now ive really regretted why din i study harder in the beginning. Its really true that ive ruin the whole poly life from Year 1,the time that i tot things were simple. Merina oh merina. Underestimate your course already. Nothing is easy. Sigh. stupidity is a word to describe myself.
Nevertheless, i sldnt let that pull me down. Just have to continue to JIAYOU!
wahhh. im really so stressed up now. i told myself not to have unnecessary stress but it seem like ive taken things too lightly now. :( damn. Now i hate myself.

TeacherTeachers arent tt mean afterall

2010-09-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

Kiss mee

2010-09-29T04:27:00.003+08:00

I gt pinkfluenced!

2010-09-29T04:24:00.001+08:00

Haha. Trying to look like the model above. Okay. i look at least abit rite. :-)

I tested the Chanel's new lipgloss. Its supposed t b pink but it looked red.

:(

2010-09-28T11:47:00.000+08:00

When you knew something will happen and the possible outcome may happen, people do not see it but u're not firm enough to make your stand to prevent the possible outcome from happening, it happens and who to blame? Yourself or others?

i hate myself.

Im useless

Im weak

Im stupid

2010-09-28T11:16:00.001+08:00

Im so pissed! i hate myself

Out with my friend

2010-09-26T23:36:00.000+08:00

Salut!

C'est Je and mon Taiwan friend. Met at Bali. She came to Singapore for transit.

Had fun.

Hope to see her soon again.

Au revoir!

wisdom tooth extraction

2010-09-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

I just had my Wisdom tooth extracted. 2. next week will be extracting another 2 more. Ohdear, it reminded me that im gona miss out my friend's bday celebration. sheesh!

The picture up there is after my wisdom tooth extraction. Haven really swell that bad yet.

I had LA for the extraction, oral surgeon says that my wisdom tooth extraction is a complex one as its very deep inside, he mentioned about breaking my bone to extract the tooth out. i can hear my heart skip abit.It cost me 1.8k for just 1 side, but its been covered by medisave.

When you hear people said that they did their wisdom tooth extraction like its no big deal, i felt the same way at first. i dun wana noe much about it when there is lots of blood involved, i just want it done and over with. The surgeon gave me LA and he did mention that i will hear all the drilling and pulling. I can feel the anxiety when i hear the drilling. MYGOD! i jus wondered why have i agreed t go thru such thing. i kept telling myself to breathe slowly, in and out in and out. The drilling sound makes me scared and i was feeling so cold inside. I cant believe that i was trembling inside. My surgeon still can joke with me when im at the anxiety stage! i tried to laugh abit.

The soothing music in the room does help abit. The moment i hear the drilling sound again, i try to distract myself by thinking something else,singing song in my head and pretend that its a small and minor procedure just to make myself relax and less anxious about it.

For a moment, i felt like i was going for a really major operation to the hospital where u have your parents tearing and you telling your love ones that its okay etc etc, just for that instant. i imagine alot actually. I will be going thru that, but not so soon. For the tearing part, maybe not. i hope i dun tear when i go for the surgery. im a strong and brave girl. ;)

And so,becuz i imagined alot. i thought about someone too. But too bad that person is not here with me. Not bad, i brave thru it alone. Anw the operation that im heading only cost about 5-8k? if its A class ward. Why in the world did i say 20k?! ohh. maybe cuz i included the braces and wisdom tooth extraction. 5k+3.6+4K=12.6k

next week going t see my surgeon for the other 2side of extraction and STO. :( dun like.

toodles now.

Are you a winner or loser(whiner)

2010-09-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

i think i overdose on vit c. i had diahorrea. Shouldnt have taken too much citric fruits. nonetheless, just wana blog this. :)

Determination- This is very necessary. One must decide that he or she will come first and beat the others. This will trigger the spark to be a winner.
Motivation- One must be motivated. One must feel that one should be a winner. To succeed and not be a loser can make a person reach his or set goals.
Will Power- One must have will power. One must be able to withstand all kinds of hardships and hurdles to be a winner.
Confidence- This is very important. A weak personality can never be a winner. Only a person who knows that he or she is worth a lot and has the necessary ability to win can succeed in the respective venture on hand.
Self-esteem- One need to have a positive self-esteem. He or she must know one’s worth and feel good about oneself. Underestimating or over-estimating one’s abilities will not help to be a winner.
Practice- If one is an athelete, then one must practice daily and make an all out effort to be perfect in one’s workout. Even in work matters, to prepare ahead and perfect one’s skills can help in being much ahead of others.
Alertness- One must be physically and mentally alert. Sharpness of mind and action can be asset to succeed over others.
Positive Mind- One must feel very positive about a given situation. One must feel one will be the winner in a given situation. Negativity can pull one down.
Strategy- One must adopt a strategy to win. Carrying out a task in a haphazard way will not be good. One must plan out things in a systematic way.
Acquiring necessary skills- One must be well versed in their respective work. Acquiring necessary skills are essential to make a success of the task on hand.

2010-09-20T13:28:00.001+08:00

Wow. Amazingly ive been blogging for 6years now.

Not bad Merina. :)

the korean way-y koreans strive for beauty

2010-09-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

THE KOREAN WAY

by Julia Yoo

“Thank goodness you have ssang-ku-pool. Your parents saved a lot of money,” said a close family friend when I was five years old. Ssang-ku-pul is the line above the eyelid, which most every Caucasian has but is rare among Northeast Asians. According to Sandy Cobrin, only 25% of Koreans are born with the double eye-lid crease, and she describes eye-lid surgery as “stitching a permanent crease into the eye-lid.” After observing the Korean trends and Korean pop culture idols for many years from a Korean-American perspective, I think I have figured out the meaning of Korean beauty. It is a very complicated and profound one. Beauty means having big eyes, a pale complexion, a sharp and pointed nose, a taller height, and a small chin and mouth. Essentially, South Korean beauty meant looking as “white” or Caucasian as possible.
I never quite understood how having lines above my eyelids saved my parents money until the summer of 1998 when I visited Korea. I knew that the lines above my eyes supposedly made them appear larger than other “Asian eyes,” but I did not see the financial connection until I saw my aunt in Korea whom I hadn’t seen for years. She just had eyelid surgery a year before, and I noticed how the lines above her eyes opened them up so that they appeared a bit rounder. She was beaming as she was telling me how she got a discount on the surgery, paying only $700 because she knew the surgeon. Then she was telling my sister, who wasn’t blessed with ssang-ku-pul like me, to get the surgery through the surgeon she knew. She was going on about how the majority of the female Korean population gets this eyelid surgery and how lucky she was to have
connections. I felt fortunate; I had saved seven hundred dollars. But instead of yelling this aloud, I remained silent. For the first time in my life, I felt a bit ashamed of my race.
The moment I stepped out into the city from my aunt’s apartment, I noticed cosmetic surgery clinics everywhere, along with billboards featuring Korean women who had Western characteristics. Nowhere could I spot a single ad containing a model with small eyes, a round face, and a small nose. None of them looked like the familiar Korean faces I remembered from my previous visits to Korea. A little later, I saw a girl walking out of one of the clinics with a funny-looking face mask and huge sunglasses. My aunt said the mask was to protect her new nose, and the sunglasses were to protect her newly cut out eyelids. I just sighed. Here I was in my family’s native country for the first time in years, yearning to experience the essence of Korea, and I found myself bombarded with McDonald’s, Nike and those Korean-wannabe-white faces.
According to an online site, Medscape, “South Korea has the highest ratio of cosmetic surgeons to citizens worldwide.” It has become so common that girls will get eyelid surgery as high school graduation presents. I still did not understand. Unsurprisingly, a year after that particular visit to Korea, both my teenaged cousins had gotten eyelid surgeries just in time for their sweet-sixteenth birthdays. The plague of plastics had hit my own family! This just made the wonder grow deeper: What about plastic surgery made so many Koreans fall so madly in love with it?
Plastic surgery has some kind of magical appeal to them—the promise of beauty. In this mystical and arduous quest for good looks, women are often convinced that suffering and sacrificing is necessary and worthy in order to bear the fruits of beauty. And this suffering is not for nothing. With good looks, the Korean society believes that beauty leads to attracting a better-looking partner, which leads to a better lifestyle and better-looking children. Oh, and of course, better looks equals better chances for competitive jobs, especially in the business field. Essentially, they believe that physical beauty equals happiness.
And in Korea, we impossibly apply the same standards for beauty as the Western world does. A woman should be tall, thin, with a milky complexion, chiseled facial features, long legs, nice big eyes, and the perfectly-angled nose. Ann Shin’s film, “Western Eyes” thoroughly and accurately captures the essence of the struggle for Asian-American women striving for Western beauty. The protagonists resort to cosmetic surgery in search of beauty and acceptance, believing that their appearance, especially their eyes, will alter the way others perceive them. The immigrant women believe cosmetic surgery is the key to their assimilation in a predominantly white town. However, the Asian immigrants in the movie are different from the women in Korea, such as my aunt, who do not live around white people, yet experience similar internal dilemmas with their appearances. So if environment is not the primary cause of this drive to look “whiter,” then what is?
The next closest thing to living around white people is seeing them all over TV, billboards, and magazines. With globalization alive and well in South Korea, Western pop culture has mushroomed into every corner of the country. Lacoste, Estee Lauder, Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel are only a few of the heavily sought-out Western brands. The Koreans exchange their advanced electronic devices through companies such as LG, Samsung, Hyundai, and Kia in return for Western clothing, cosmetics, and pop idols such as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. However, Koreans do not just admire these Western idols. They not only want to purchase their albums and clothes, but they also want to look like them. Perhaps this explains why the majority of Korean celebrities have gone under the knife at least once. For instance, Korean pop star Boa Kwon, who now rules the female pop world in all of Northeast Asia (Japan, China, and Korea), got eyelid surgery and her nose heightened. So, just as Britney Spears wooed little American girls to dress in plaid mini skirts and midriff bearing shirts, Boa has inspired and assured many Korean girls that cosmetic surgery is the normal and “cool” thing to do.
This rush for Western beauty has not only plagued South Korea, but is seeping into other parts of Asia, such as Japan and China. Korean pop culture is dominating Asia today with its soap opera series, movies, cosmetics, and technology. In 2004, after the hit TV show “Dae-jang-geum,” many Japanese and Taiwanese women flocked to South Korean cosmetic clinics asking to look like the hit’s main character, Young-Hae Lee, who is known for her big round eyes, small chin, and high nose. Newsweek describes the westernization of beauty standards: “Eastern and Western tastes have been cross-pollinating with a vengeance…The zaftig Indian goddesses and the heart-shaped face of the Chinese beauty are yielding to round eyes, oblong faces and lean figures.” But perhaps this surge for Western beauty is just an ephemeral trend, like skinny-legged jeans.
Much evidence indicates that this beauty ideal is not a trend, but a very real standard that is growing deeper into Korean society. Appearance is starting to play a bigger role in the workplace, to the extent that men are starting to resort to cosmetic surgery also. For instance, my 29 year old male cousin, who is slim and over six feet tall, gets significantly more job offers than his best male friend, who is shorter and heavier, even though both of them graduated from the same prestigious college, Seoul National University, and had the same GPA and credentials. Also, ABC news reports that cosmetic surgery clinics in Korea are getting significantly higher rates of male patients, and in some areas, about a third of the clients are males. The most popular surgeries among these men are almost identical to those for women—eyelid and nose jobs. In other words, this shows that the standards for beauty not only apply to women, but also to men. According to a Men’s Health Research, “86 percent of South Korean men between age 25 and 37 believe their competitiveness for jobs would be increased by having a good appearance and healthy body,” and over half the South Korean male population are dissatisfied with their appearance. Also, it is not a coincidence that all the Miss Universe contestants in the past two decades look so westernized to the point that it is hard to distinguish which contestants are Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic, and African. Therefore, the continuing high rates of cosmetic surgeries, and the growing number of Korean celebrities who look almost “white” as a result of these procedures, indicate the extent to which Western beauty standards have been ingrained into South Korea.
Perhaps the quest for western beauty is political as well as cultural. Going back to the Imperialist era in the 1800’s, the notion of white supremacy is still alive in our minds since Western nations, such as the United States, are still the most powerful and wealthiest. Perhaps even the notions of “walking, talking, and looking” like the white race still exist to the subtlest extents. For instance, many countries around the world, including South Korea, are required to speak English, the language of the world power—the United States—as their second language. As a result, most South Korean students are reasonably fluent in English by the time they reach high school.
Perhaps the obsession with beauty is due to the fact that human nature always strives for what is thought to be better. So Koreans associate beauty with people of countries that are wealthier than they are, and as a result strive to be more like them. For instance, some less wealthy Southeast Asian nations strive for Northeast Asian beauty, such as a lighter complexion and taller figures. Then the Northeast Asians strive to be like the even wealthier nations who are even lighter and taller than they are. And then within the wealthy western nations, the southern Europeans strive to be like the Germans and Western Europeans who are the tallest and wealthiest. In essence, this quest for beauty is no different than the quest for any other greed in life, such as money and fame. There is always someone more beautiful, richer, taller, and smarter. We always want what we can’t have. Many women see the impossibly thin supermodels with large breasts and a perfectly chiseled face, and all secretly admire them. We cannot help but wonder about people and places that we will never be or see. And this is why we will never see an average five foot three woman of 140 pounds walking the fashion runways in Versace. Our elusive journey toward this complete perfection that we can never achieve begins.
Or perhaps this standard of beauty comes from the human tendency to conform. We tend to simplify notions in life into black or white, good or evil, happy or sad, beautiful or ugly. And as globalization and westernization seeped into Northeast Asia, so did its notions of beauty. Because Paris and New York are the centers of fashion, the Koreans may have started to look toward them to set the standards of physical beauty as well. As a result, the Koreans wanted to bridge the gap between their physical appearances and that of the whites to the extent that they have pursued plastic surgery.
The solution to this plague is starting with the transformation of one individual at a time in South Korea. The fact that nearly half the population is somehow displeased with their appearance and willing to undergo cosmetic surgery shows that something is culturally wrong here. But before these individuals can change, the change needs to begin with the role models in Korea, the celebrities and other media figures. Essentially, the face of Korean media needs to change. They need to stop sending the message that beauty means Nicole Kidman and Britney Spears, and instead show that true Asian characteristics are beautiful too. They need to realize that smaller eyes, rounder faces, and flatter noses can be beautiful. By continuing to have eyelid surgeries and nose jobs, the Koreans are rejecting their natural Asian beauties and perpetuating the notion that western features are more beautiful.

NOTE:

The texts cited in this essay are: Burt Herman, “S. Korea Sees Boom in Male Plastic Surgery,” in ABC News Health, 2006; Sandy Cobrin, “Asian-Americans Criticize Eyelid Surgery Craze,” in Women’s E-news, 2004. Fred Guterl and Michael Hastings, “The Global Makeover,” in Newsweek, 2003; Medscape Today, “Cosmetic Surgery Past, Present, and Future,” 2006; Ann Shin, “Western Eyes,” 2000.

eat less, exercise more

2010-09-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

1 day down, 6 more to go.

Pictures and videos. :)

2010-09-18T22:41:00.010+08:00

Shipwreak at tulamben.

Kuta's beach and restaurant

BAli
So the not so long awaiting time has come. pictures and videos. :)

I would really say, i am really fortunate to be where i am right now. Who really gets to go overseas every year and doing all the sports, learning whatever you want. Having the freedom you want. This do come easy for me. But of cuz things cannot be taken for granted. Ive to start working doubly,triply hard and making the best of myself as i can to repay my parents back. They deserve the best as well. Without them, there wont be me today.

so overall, the same words. JIAYOU!

Be it whether ive to work it alone, its a challenge without someone to share my thoughts with.

But at least i noe where to put my thoughts at.

So thanks to blogger.

Again, ive to park all my many years of posts,pictures and videos somewhere safe. So i pray that blogger will remain alive forever and ever and ever. But

I still like having my precious things tangible. ;) so yeaaaa.

wondering

2010-09-18T22:36:00.003+08:00

Im thinking whether i should let more people see my many years old of my blog. Hmm. Should i or should i not. People who view this are people who happen to chance upon my blog.. so toodles to those lucky ones. haha! :)

nothing is better den singapore(home). :)

2010-09-18T20:58:00.004+08:00

IM BACK! :D

SPLENDID!

Nothing is still better den HOME SWEET HOME. :)

I came back with my hair so dry!!! :( devastated. Gonna mask and moisturize excessively.

So yea. i tot i lost my phone in Bali, but i realised that i actually put it in another compartment in my haversack bag. keke. And my ipod nano. in my side pocket of the bag.And my mosquito repellant in another. GEE! THANK GOD! i only lost my mosquito repellent and guess wad, my ipod came out of my bag but apparently it was hanging somewhere on my bag when it arrived to SG! so i should really thank god! It was lucky, really! i wasnt complacent or anything, sometimes things just slip out of my mind. Its not that im lazy or i din care, sometimes it really slip out of my mind. So i would really appreciate people to remember and remind me. REALLY. :)

So we got back and headed to the SEAFOOD PARADISE to eat seafood. IM FREAKING FULL NOW. Exercise tmr! JIAYOU! i wana be skinnyyyyy

4th dy in bali,kuta

2010-09-16T23:41:00.003+08:00

Today was the last day of diving, sammy went thru the skills again, but this is done under the sea water at nusa daisa. the water there is alot more unclear then tulamben. i managed to feed fishes from my hand! :) fun fun! Diving couldnt be more fun den anything else. Diving just kills all the mood for other water sports underwater. Being able to breathe under water and seeing fishes, eels, star fish? stingray-mini, sea cucumber.:) awesome dive at bali. i'll always rmb the dive. Tmr gona go for hair mask and spa maybe? And ouh, after the dive, erica and i drop off at legian t do some shoppin. FUNFUN!she's nice! she will be heading to singapore soon. Hopefully i can bring her around. :) Gona update soon. And once again, watching endless FTV. :D i think im addicted t FTV. Their channel just doesnt have any commercial breaks. Its just endless fashion shows seriously. And all the models are SKINNY! okay. i wana be skinny with shape of cuz. skinny but not too skinny. :) im trying, but i admit, not very hard. Now i'll do my best t lose weight. I jus wana wear their clothes. so awesome!

scuba diving

2010-09-15T20:35:00.003+08:00

Scuba diving, no doubt its a dangerous sport but with safety precaution, it can be spectacular.

3rd day at bali

2010-09-15T19:53:00.006+08:00

As usual,diving was awesome!

i'll put up some pictures and video once i'm back to SG. :) At a start, it was alittle scary cuz its pretty a new environment and we have to quickly adapt to the sea. we went to the shore of tulamben. Never regret to take up diving here. i saw a school of fish. WOW. that was the best experience ever. i'll never forget that. What i dun really like is the shore, its full of stones,big and small and its pretty hard to walk on it. i almost fall.And i dun like the part here u have to put and take the fins on and off in the sea, facing the shore. it was pretty uneasy for me for 2 dives. hopefully tmr will be better. :)

And i also saw the shipwreak,corals and eels! Many many eels in the sand. Not sure if sammy has taken pictures of it. Its awesome. i wonder my sis and bro managed to see it.

Tmr feeding the fishes. :) But no $ for underwater cam. sheesh. But it was good. And as we head back t our hotel, its a pretty long journey, 2.5hrs. Gotta head to Lugiah for shopping. theres alot of shopping there. i saw my basket bag there. binikis,many surf shops and resturants and bars and disco! :D Haven gone to the beach to take a peek yet . :(

And again, watching endless FTV. :) its inspiring to see all the models so slim and skinny. motivating. :D

Alrite. Tts it for now.

F. is an obsession :)

adios amigo( spainish)

Just arrived at Ashton,kuta,bali

2010-09-14T00:07:00.002+08:00

BALI BABY!

okay, so it took about 2.5hrs to get to Bali. difference between bali and hawaii? bali more angmohs, hawaii more japanese! So basically, there are alot of water sports here and i can only play it by making friends with other people. Im excited tho! hehe! Surfer boys, wait up! haha. i really hope my mom can just throw me at the beach and she does her own thing well i do mine. :D That is heaven to me. The sports, the beach, the activities and some friendly people to play with. :D Gotta start planning what to do tmr! mom is asleep soundly. Yes. like a baby. so sound. :) Thanks for the surgery that she went. Oh. We ate balinese nasi goreng and nasi smth, it was GOOD. Pictures up when im back. :) Gona go swimming early in the morning at our Ashton hotel. ;) HAVE TO SWIM! i can die without exercising. fabby is not sexy. fat will never be the new skinny for me. So adios folks. update tmr. :)

toodles.

:)

2010-09-11T18:25:00.003+08:00

Bonjour!

Hyoyeon is my favourite! haha! From SNSD! im not korean craze. i just simply love her personality. :)

Gona go excess running, dancing,swimming this holiday. JIAYOU! DUN LAZE AND SLACK!

motivating MTV.

2010-09-11T03:03:00.003+08:00

And ouh, this MTV is awesome! its damn motivating. :) Time to get back on my losing weight regime tho my boobs will be smaller. ohwell. i rather lose the boobs den having a fat body!. its really really really really hard to lose when u're alone. No choice, have to continue losing. Anyone care to lose weight with me? LET ME NOE! i'll be more den happy. :)

Im FAT! seeing my sister is like seeing me. omg. MUST LOSE WEIGHT MERINA!

its good to think

2010-09-11T02:50:00.003+08:00

ive been watching this korean show on Youtube.com called hot blood. its a training reality show where 2pm,2am becomes stonger and tougher inside out.

This episode is about them doing some self-reflection on their life when they die. I think all of us should do self-reflection everyday. we all should work very hard and accomplish all the things that we want, even if its the impossible dream.

We should all work hard and strive hard. After watching this show it reminds me alot on all the sports activities and camps where team bonding and friendship is form. :') i miss that, i really do. i want to join back a sport CCA again. That is if i got into SIM uni.

Prolly gona further my studies on nursing degree and den take business or marketing diploma. Hopefully i can get myself a job either at mom's office or some MNC company. And continue on a hobby after work. :) What have i accomplish?other den doing well for my studies, i guess i cant accomplish anything cuz ive no $

Frustrated

2010-09-09T17:04:00.002+08:00

Bonjour!

losing weight is so tough but putting on weight is like ABC. it just took me a few days for the weight t get back up. Je suis triste(Im sad). :( im 2kg fatter now. so angry with myself for not having that disciplined t stop impulsive eating! i need to stop that and i need to push myself to exercise more and eat less. i really do. Today wanted to wake up early to run but i laze around lying on my bed again. sigh. Im useless. But at least i did the laundry and cleaning up my room. its been weeks i last clean up my room.

Im frustrated over my expenditure!!! im going bali and europe soon and i can just spend so carefreely. i seem to have a really carefree mood like everything does not bother me at all. Actually it does. Everyday does bother me that to the extent, i decided not to bother cuz if i do,i'll get even more frustrated that WHY THINGS AINT GOING WHAT I WANT! yea. i guess people do get frustrated when things do not go as its supposed to. But ohwell. just have to pick urself up again from where you fall and NEVER GIVE UP and keep going and tell urself not to make the mistake again.

Even seem i got my allowance from the hospital, it seems like im going poorer and poorer. At least when i do not have allowance, i get to save up all the $. But from the savings i had, its depleting. As you start reaching adulthood, there are bills to pay, insurance coverage, maintenance. Sigh. sometimes i just wondered why am i not a guy. oh. no. better not be a guy cuz its even more stressful. Tho you dun need maintenance for urself but you got to pay for ur gf's everything,i mean mostly!haha. Being a guy is not easy either and being a girl is neither easy too. ohwell. INDEED,YOU CANT HAVE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS,that applies t some. hah.

Work starting soon and im pretty scared actually, and i think i sort of decided not to stay in nursing else i can just remain to be single and prolly convert myself to be a nun in future. Every family wants the best for their kid. Sigh. im gona be an adult soon in like 8more months! how should i celebrate my bday when i got barely much savings now. :( Should i call ALL THE FRIENDS SINCE PRI SCH TIL NOW or shld i just call the closest people and up my budget since they're the ones that are der all the time while friends are just people who helped you along the way. hmmm. how how! having it at chalet? too cliche. yacht?too ex. club? not everyone of my friend likes it. gawd. HEADACHE.

Heading to bali next monday! haven prepare yet

Heading to my dad's friend's wedding at intercontinental in afew mins time. i really dun feel like going! IM LIKE GETTING FATTER! :( i read over the internet that the media are tryin to promote curvy girls now. Big is sexy,like my size. hurhur! But nahhh.cannot get influence but it and give up losing weight. The idea is to feel good about urself! But i am soooooooooooooo not right now. i miss running competitively. Why cant sports industry pay employees higher wages?! Sigh.

C'est tout gens (thats all folks).

2010-09-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

Watching gossip girls on my android phone. :)

2010-09-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

my hands are aging. i can see wrinkle. O.M.G! (very bimbotic i noe) omg! i must soak it in milk and den put dons of moisturers and sleep with gloves on. omg!! getting old, die die!

Anw, last paper of my entire sch day is just few hrs from now! im serious! And off for my attachments! 18weeks which is 4months! 4deadly months! :( am i gona be a nurse forever? :( shift work is tiresome. i wana work at raffles city in one of those office tho. it seems pretty awesome actually seeing all the working people out for lunch at a specific timing. it jus felt like ur in sch and time for recess. And everyday same place,same time and seeing same people. :) new bond is form. :) that will be called my working school now.

neway, im gona head to bali in like a wk's time and den 2/3wks break and off to Europe with family and cousins. awesome. mom intended to bring me to japan during Dec. but sadly, i gt attachments. i miss sch, i mean secondary school. i dun seem to have any vivid memory of fun days in polytechnic. it seems miserable for me. My classmates are all weird people. Cuz they came from all different backgrounds. Will working life be the same as polytechnics? or it'll be like secondary school when you meet nice and fun people?which will it be common or uncommon. im quite worried about the working world tho. All the jobs that i did was temporary. Now this coming job will be for abt 2yrs! will the people be nice and family-like? or bitches eat bitches? Gee. im scared!

nom nom! pas peur! (nono, not scared!)Im brave! Im brave!

aight. off to studying. :) Tous les meilleurs merina!. (all the best merina!)

2010-09-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

You have left, and gone forever..

body shape

2010-08-30T15:53:00.002+08:00

Apparently, people are promoting medium size woman and the opposite sex prefer woman with some meat. as you can see, 59% of man prefer a size 12 ,which is US size 8 but size 8 to size 12 looks the same jus the boobs that is looking bigger thats all. prolly jus alittle more meaty. ohgee. Since the media is slowly progressing to medium size females. i think i shldnt try so hard to lose weight. My size is perfect! hmm. nvm. mayb try t lose alittle more. :) my shorts is like tight! :(

YOG at Catholic high school

2010-08-29T02:42:00.002+08:00

Volunteered my time for the YOG 2010 at catholic high school for gymnastics training as paramedic assistant. :) Definitely gona be a lifetime experience not just singapore, but for me as well. :)

ENJOYED myself too! :)

We are part the Purple army that play a big role in making this goes smoothly for singapore. ;)

FAMILY DAY OUT

2010-08-29T02:20:00.003+08:00

ENJOYED MYSELF AND WE ALL DID AT UNIVERSAL STUDIO!

it was nice to hav a family day out! apparently, universal studio wasnt a disappointment. it was fun! especially the REVENGE OF THE MUMMY! the ride was awesome! and my sister bought the photo us that were captured on the ride. GOSH! i look like a pig screaming for help!hahaha. damn cartoon. ohwell. we spent the whole day rushing thru all the rides and shows. we did managed t finish most of it. except i din get to take pictures with cats in the boots and my magadasar! :'( boohoo! oh ouh. after the rides and shows. we change out and went to CHILLIS t have our dinner. it the was superb! i ordered the mushroom fujatis. i think i spelled wrongly but its der. haha! it tasted GOOOOOODDDDD! THUMBS UP THUMBS UP! haha. :) and the dessert was HEAVENLYYY! the choco fondue flow out of the sponge cake and the apple caramel was YUMMYY!!

I LOVE TODAY! :)

ENJOY ENJOYED!

pondering

2010-08-21T01:04:00.002+08:00

I feel so elated that i made myself volunteer for the YOG. Though i was alittle upset that i was deployed to Catholic high for the gymnasticss training for the straight 8-3pm shirt for like 5days! ive the most hours than the rest. But ohwell. Finally i just got over it cuz being there is something i feel that i learnt alot from the athletes just by watching them train every single day. You can tell how much these players want to do well and win the competition. Some just think that they are good enuff but some just keep on practicing and practicing and practicing! like the china gymnas. She is the only one without a Coach while everyone else has at least 1. Russia has 2! China is the only country that just kept going without a coach. Very disiplined and very grateful when the coach pitpoint her. i think its very true that culture does make a difference.

People in SG would rather pursue and further their studies for more $$ den to pursue something that we all know Athletes in SG do not get as much privilege than other countries. And people in SG can afford to further their studies and the well-being is alot better. China are really hard-working due to their high populated country. Sometimes we cannot blame them for using cunning ways to earn $. sometimes it really forced them to go to that extend to do it. But still, we cannot pity them cuz we're gona be the ones to find ourselves some trouble.

Everyday i see the athletes train so hard, coaches kept pushing and pushing over their limits to help them achieve even higher and higher. To a large extend, strict teachers produce great students. Its tough being a coach, its tough being an athlete.

And i see those gymnas jumpin and spliting their legs etc, i have the urge to try it myself too. haha! Sometimes i do blame my parents for not pushing me hard enough. Cuz as kids, its rare to know what we really want. Only adults have to keep pushing them over their limit.

ohwell. Tmr last day for me! its so fast! i really dun wana go tho cuz i noe i will definitely miss those hard working athletes. Gee!

anw! JIAYOU TO ME! :D

Thou shall not be poor. Thou shall be a rich

article of employee abuse

i will always love you in my heart

terrorised

looks can fade but brains will not.

i swam like i think i would and i made it! :D

Life being an adult now.

imma loving it.

life's not all sunshine and rainbows.

My job

my brain is dead

soar

work

positive attitude

A Positive Attitude In The Workplace Can Do These 10 Things

Here’s a picture of a work environment I’ve experienced. I’m sure many of you can relate to this in some way or another.

10 Things That a Positive Attitude In The Workplace Can Do.

The working stage of llife

dreams

stressed

so good to feel this way again!

soft-hearted

Bonjour!

moments of creativity :)

MFW 2011

Last nite in taiwan

Day 6 at taiwan

Day 4 of Taiwan

Day 3 of taiwan

Taiwan day 2

Goodbye SG, hello Taiwan.

You are just so ugly as a person

MFW 2nd

MFW 2011

Friday's the big day! or rather! TMR'S THE BIG DAY!

what bodytype are you?

When planning to get skinny remember:

The ease or difficulty with which it takes to get skinny will depend on your body type.

What getting skinny means to you should depend on your body type. If you have an endomorphic body your skinny goal should not be Kate Moss, Eva Mendes or Taylor Swift (ectomorphs), but someone with an endomorphic body build.

Healthiness trumps skinniness. Therefore, your first and overriding goal should be to maintain or improve health. Your goal to get skinny should come second. Ensure that all your plans are consistent with this principle.

Dismiss the previous post.

Happy Cheena New Year 2011!

"shopping"

xoxo

Rock the world

Ladies night.

Happy 2011!

its been awhile since i last blogged, and i was having a reminiscence of the past.

Best thing ever too.:)

Cutest thing in my life ever. :)

Happy merry christmas! :D

:)

:)

helo

Cousins love. exclude the dog. :)

Ima sucker for what you say.

:)

GOOD MORNING!

:)

or maybe its not frustration or anger

i need you.

i nv felt such anxiety before.

netball-ed

cooked :)

fitness :) and exercise!

Post paper stress

TeacherTeachers arent tt mean afterall

Kiss mee

I gt pinkfluenced!

:(

Out with my friend

wisdom tooth extraction

Are you a winner or loser(whiner)

the korean way-y koreans strive for beauty

eat less, exercise more

Pictures and videos. :)

wondering

nothing is better den singapore(home). :)

4th dy in bali,kuta

scuba diving